Intimacy: Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober...

By ShitFaced - 01/03/2012 11:35 - United States

Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 093

You deserved it 21 617

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Rollercoaster ride

By Anonymous - 28/09/2019 06:00 - Australia

Today, I had had sex while sober for the first time in years. It was really awkward, bumpy, and I kept on apologizing for being so terrible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 1 778

By tequilashot - 20/09/2016 04:40 - Brazil - Porto Alegre

Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 622

You deserved it 4 822

By Anonymous - 24/10/2013 21:26 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 951

You deserved it 6 303

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 05:20 - United States

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 623

You deserved it 4 799

I was the bullet in the relationship

By Anonymous - 10/01/2023 10:00

Today, for the first time in two years, I met my ex-girlfriend. I was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 362

By cdestarac - 10/01/2012 06:07 - United States

Today, I met my fiancé's parents for the first time. The only problem was that I was highly intoxicated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 159

You deserved it 37 775

By drunkdial - 06/01/2010 05:53 - France

Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 349

You deserved it 4 612

By bellaboop1990 - 14/07/2009 22:13 - United States

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 514

You deserved it 6 367

Spontaneous

By FullCircleProblem - 27/01/2016 06:04 - United States - Round Rock

Today, my girlfriend came home and spontaneously wanted to have sex for the first time in about a year. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and had just came from an AA meeting. She reeked of alcohol, I couldn't get hard because of it, and she got pissed at me. She says she won't be spontaneous again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 750

You deserved it 2 408

By drunkluv - 12/04/2011 02:58 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 056

You deserved it 4 183

Idonebeenhad 17

Thursday 1 March 2012 16:02

Had sex, doesn't matter

guitarbeast 22

Thursday 1 March 2012 16:03

Doesn't matter, had sex

Comments

flowerchildd2 7

Friday 2 March 2012 0:05

That technically makes you a rapist...

88sforlife 0

Friday 2 March 2012 0:07

That doesnt say much for u.

laclustervideo 2

Friday 2 March 2012 0:10

and the problem is?

KRiddle 15

Friday 2 March 2012 0:26

Doesn't matter - had sex.

viomartyr 4

Friday 2 March 2012 1:22

Where's the problem with that? Neither have I...

arkid24 1

Friday 2 March 2012 2:34

Looowww standards.

CallMeBloo 31

Thursday 19 July 2012 8:25

Agreed. Self-respect- you should haz it.

babalicios 1

Friday 2 March 2012 6:42

Been there still live it lol drunk sex is crazy haha

hateevryone 14

Friday 2 March 2012 6:55

they say drunk sex is the best sex.

54plum 0

Friday 2 March 2012 8:35

Thats all up to you.:p

zpme103 3

Friday 2 March 2012 11:04

way to be! *hi5*

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 219

You deserved it 5 961

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 538

You deserved it 10 056

The Top

Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister. Like, you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 682

You deserved it 6 231

Today, my family got detained by airport security thanks to one of their dogs. It didn't even bark to indicate there was something wrong, though. It just kept sniffing my dad, probably because we had our dog with us in the car on the way there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 560

You deserved it 1 129

Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 392

You deserved it 4 549

Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 969

You deserved it 3 121

Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 779

You deserved it 91 817

Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 795

You deserved it 47 149

Same thing different taste

Rollercoaster ride

I was the bullet in the relationship

Spontaneous

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