Today, I remember when I was in high school, I was gonna have... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Anonymous - 24/02/2020 08:31

Today, I remember when I was in high school, I was gonna have my first lesbian make out with my hypersexual ex bestfriend, she proposed me about it on a Friday, damn I get aroused every time I recall such memory though. But by Monday she told me to forget about it, I really really wanted to kiss her and what not . FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 41

Cyber Monday: Clicks and Quiproquos
When technology meets shopping, expect stories as surprising as an unexpected click! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

No comments yet.

Comments

No comments yet.

Keywords

Babysitter Kids Cute Dogs Health Skincare Doctor Hospital Emergency Vacation Engagement ring AITA Love Awkward Facebook Relatable Social Media Sex Scams Money Clothes Miscellaneous Underwear Weird Animals Halloween Fire First Dates Smells Work

The Top

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 138

You deserved it 28 441

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 435

You deserved it 7 439

The Top

Today, I was at work for almost two hours today before realizing I had marinara sauce on my face. My coworkers didn’t say anything because I’m really clumsy and they figured it was blood, and therefore not unusual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 797

You deserved it 301

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 836

You deserved it 3 581

Today, it appears that moth larvae can make a water boiler their home, especially during my absence for four weeks. I learned it the hard way by pouring their boiled carcasses over my noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 698

You deserved it 2 218

Today, I enlisted for The Navy because my Boy Scout leader encouraged me. He fought in Korea and is a real inspiration. I asked him what motivated him to join The Navy. He said he was drunk and didn't remember joining until he was called up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 808

You deserved it 9 920

Today, I got fired from my first job because of the herpes on my lip. It was actually a 2nd degree burn from soup that splashed on to my lips when I was serving it but my manager doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 286

You deserved it 1 242

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex yet, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite." Now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 824

You deserved it 5 007