Kids: Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted...

By Anonymous - 04/08/2013 00:46 - United States - Kerman

Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 290

You deserved it 7 313

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Same thing different taste

By squeltorey - 03/08/2012 19:28 - United States - Whittier

Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 821

You deserved it 11 172

By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 02:00

Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 270

You deserved it 477

Amplified

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 585

You deserved it 4 372

By Anonymous - 03/07/2015 20:51 - United States

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 107

You deserved it 4 035

Overreaction

By sadie - 01/04/2021 23:00

Today, my mom yelled at me in the store so loudly and for so long, a crowd began to form. The reason? I didn’t know how much milk we had left at home. I don’t drink milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 110

It's not what you think

By shway - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 966

You deserved it 7 438

By downlowtooslow - 12/06/2009 04:49 - United States

Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 655

You deserved it 6 873

By stargirl - 19/07/2011 00:36 - Canada

Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 295

You deserved it 13 148

Shouldn't have worn a thong...

By Shouldn'taWornaThong - 10/02/2018 07:00 - United States - Tempe

Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 643

You deserved it 320

By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 17:39 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 569

You deserved it 41 812

FindingYujin 26

Sunday 4 August 2013 10:02

Do you have a cat? Haha. I can only imagine your son learning it from that.

Crystal55621 19

Sunday 4 August 2013 10:03

What an interesting way to clean up. At least he's getting his calcium....though that is very unsanitary.

Comments

HeartOfLead 24

Monday 5 August 2013 4:02

"Got Milk?"

DelphiCat 17

Monday 5 August 2013 4:08

Spillage IS lickage....

Kidkaplan 19

Monday 5 August 2013 5:18

Don't cry over spilled milk

superman3212 8

Monday 5 August 2013 8:56

put ur kids in check. show them manners. all this could have been avoided

iwadasn 32

Tuesday 6 August 2013 6:19

Accidentally dropping something isn't bad manners. It's not like he did it on purpose to be a brat.

DWynter 11

Monday 5 August 2013 20:45

*shrugs* Kids!

baref00tmama 15

Tuesday 6 August 2013 17:21

Why were you embarrassed when he dropped the milk? He was trying to help and made a mistake. All you needed to say was "it's okay; we'll get someone to help us clean it up". And don't let him lick the effing floor; you ARE the parent.

got2bjazzy 2

Thursday 8 August 2013 8:20

Next time don't let him carry the milk, try something lighter... that won't make a mess

nitrog100 21

Saturday 10 August 2013 7:58

Don't be embarrassed. Your son understands the concept of a party fowl.

Germy2000 1

Tuesday 27 August 2013 5:02

I feel so sorry for you, OP. You should have a serious talk to your wife about bringing her relationships into your family. I hope it works out :D. Btw, you might wanna talk to her about having an ex that is a girl... O.O