Animals: Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my...

By Anonymous - 15/12/2013 06:47 - United States - Fresno

Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 367

You deserved it 35 765

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Same thing different taste

By anonamous - 12/03/2012 21:45 - United States

Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 165

You deserved it 9 127

By phillyfan4life - 21/02/2011 19:50 - United States

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 811

You deserved it 28 490

By smellsofeggs - 26/11/2009 21:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 068

You deserved it 8 506

By Anonymous - 21/10/2014 15:49 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 822

You deserved it 7 808

By buccaneer - 23/10/2012 16:26 - United States - Piscataway

Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 900

You deserved it 3 562

By Username - 02/08/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 479

You deserved it 5 308

By toadface - 04/08/2009 23:25 - United States

Today, I took my puppy outside to play. At one point, she stopped chewing on her toy and ran over to give me a big kiss all over my face and mouth. A few minutes later I realized that her chew toy was actually the dried up carcass of a toad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 519

You deserved it 7 985

By thedogkisser - 06/06/2009 19:44 - United States

Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 091

You deserved it 84 198

By Anonymous - 08/02/2017 04:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 952

You deserved it 1 098

By g'day cunt - 26/08/2012 18:27 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 643

You deserved it 28 881

tacojauns 45

Sunday 15 December 2013 12:51

I'm not a dog expert or anything but I think that means she didn't like it

Ambient25 24

Sunday 15 December 2013 12:57

In the dog's head: "I smell another dog on you. WHO IS SHE?"

Comments

pacifichero45 1

Tuesday 17 December 2013 18:52

want to know how I got these scars?

itzjstnx 18

Wednesday 18 December 2013 7:59

looks like you wont be trying that again. lol

karCSJ 9

Saturday 21 December 2013 1:05

If she went for the nose then she understood what you said and was repremanding you lol FLY OP

Yellowjello1800 7

Saturday 21 December 2013 23:50

It's a little bit of both.

bubblitious 2

Tuesday 11 March 2014 0:54

Maybe she wanted to make sure you know not to mimic her the next time.

blearyandtired 8

Friday 14 March 2014 19:30

This has happened to me so many times...

Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 126

Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML

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You deserved it 5 170

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I agree, your life sucks 45 130

You deserved it 2 997

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I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 132

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 180

You deserved it 10 420

Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted of a police officer telling us what’s forbidden, the penalties if we do anything wrong and to avoid bars and nightclubs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 77

Today, a police officer stopped me and told me he got an anonymous tip that I was going to kill myself. I wasnt. Protocol says he had to bring me straight to a hospital where I explained that someone was messing with me. nobody listened. Now I have a hospital bill for $2,250. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 718

You deserved it 173

Today, it's been 2 days since I got over having the flu for over a week, missing work the whole time. I just got food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 614

You deserved it 160

Same thing different taste

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