That's ******* disgusting. Even if you're kidding. I have a higher mental capacity than a baboon. And this just makes me want to puke.

If they're rude enough to refuse to do any extra work for you while you're sick, I wouldn't want to be their friend.

People usually don't inform others weeks in advance that they will be sick X and Y day and needs someone to cover for them. If someone is not already working those hours or "on call" to work, then there is probably a reason for it, such as a kids bday, or going to the doctor or being out of town. It is not the responsibility of your co-workers to always cover for you, even if you are sick, unless they have agreed to be on call for those hours on that day. I have had times when I was asked to work for a co-worker and I turned them down, not because I was lazy or rude or was not their friend, but that I had not had a day off in several weeks, had school to go to (which I miss for no one), and had to take care of my sick sister (respectively). So don't call people lazy just because they don't want to cover at the last moment and change their plans. Unless Op is a doctor or fireman, then the work can likely be put off for another day or covered by people already scheduled to work.