Health: Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy...

By Kay - 03/02/2011 05:33

Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy stomach upset. Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door. My boyfriend had decided to make a surprise visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 815

You deserved it 3 168

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By anony - 27/02/2013 13:49 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 722

You deserved it 6 694

By Anonymous - 10/05/2014 22:11 - Sweden - Lidk?ping

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 388

You deserved it 13 707

By ohmygoodness - 02/03/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 726

You deserved it 17 289

By sly - 25/10/2010 22:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 109

You deserved it 4 459

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 14:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 289

You deserved it 30 212

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 299

You deserved it 7 528

By impatient amy - 27/01/2009 14:23 - Ireland

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 887

You deserved it 2 908

Shock and awe

By Embarassed Girl - 14/07/2022 02:00

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 803

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - 15/07/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 751

By n - 04/04/2015 18:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 133

You deserved it 3 504

alwa7sh 2

Thursday 3 February 2011 12:28

Ok ladies we have to put an end to this, we know you use the bathroom for things other than showering. We have known it our whole lives. So if your boyfriend, husband, ex-hasband, father in-law's second brother or any male walked in on you it is ok just finish what you started. So please no more FMLs about getting caught using the bathroom.

DocBastard 38

Thursday 3 February 2011 18:26

None taken. I have my iPhone on me constantly, so I like to check in while waiting for elevators, between patients, etc. It makes the time go by faster, and I get to vent some frustration at the same time. Either that or I'm faking this whole doctor thing, and I'm actually a 24 year old dude living in my parents' basement with nothing better to do.

Comments

xxochristineox 3

Friday 4 February 2011 4:34

girls do it too...you might want to tell your beau that, op

emjay09 0

Friday 4 February 2011 7:17

he's a guy. he won't care. most guys love taking a shit and don't care who knows it. no worries girl.

sicwitit 0

Friday 4 February 2011 20:32

dude like hes never gonna hear you fart

XxdarkangelxX13 0

Saturday 5 February 2011 2:17

just tell him to wait for you in the living room and put the volume on the tv really loud:)

Friaza 29

Thursday 28 July 2011 0:51

I saw something exactly like this on youtube :D

LilyZombie 8

Friday 6 January 2012 21:45

Congratulations, you have written the only FML about taking a shit without using the words "explosive diarrhea", "apparently", or "to my horror". You made reading this FML not feel like a monotonous variation of every other shit-related anecdote. hopefully your boyfriend doesn't find your all natural human act as a reason to look at you as a stinky nasty icky bitch with anal seepage. :D

Turkey_Slab 0

Friday 7 September 2012 3:24

Walk of shame.......

Ugi 26

Thursday 24 January 2013 13:44

If he can knock on the bathroom then he has a key. If he has a key then you have been together a while (I f'ing hope). If you have been together a while then he's not likely to care if you have to take a shit. You are not a fairytale princess. Deal with it. Disney has a lot to answer for.

sammyjo06 14

Wednesday 19 February 2014 7:35

That's kind of rude of your boyfriend. If I'd suddenly dropped in on my boyfriend and he was in the bathroom like that, I would just go turn on the TV or something and wait till he came out.