Health: Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard... - FML

By sharkgirl4 - 25/08/2014 16:17 - United States - Rialto

Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 080

You deserved it 4 394

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Same thing different taste

By sorethumb - 15/12/2015 23:39 - United Kingdom - Bookham

Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 523

You deserved it 3 398

Shocking!

By Toasted - 29/04/2019 20:00

Today, in an attempt to be frugal, I tried to repair my own sometimes-faulty toaster. Turns out I unplugged the wrong kitchen appliance, which I only discovered by electrocuting myself while pulling it apart. Now it's definitely broken, will need replacing, and I have a burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 2 586

Slasher

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 05:00 - United States

Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with Superglue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 731

You deserved it 9 384

Who sharpens screwdrivers?

By Anonymous - 26/12/2021 14:01

Today, on my building site, I asked one of the guys to pass me a screwdriver. He threw it so hard that when I caught it, it stabbed into the meat of my finger and came clean out the other side. Now all the guys keep joking I got royally screwed. The jokes are worse than the pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 116

Gammon

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 06:00

Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 941

Slice of life

By Eleanor - 19/02/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 896

You deserved it 627

My day off

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 23:00

Today, I was finally able to get around to a totally free day when I could do some much needed DIY around the house. Before I even started, I cut my hand on a Stanley knife almost to the bone, and had to get 8 stitches. My wife thinks I did it on purpose to get out of doing the repairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 128

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 134

You deserved it 989

By opposableouch - 27/10/2009 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 001

You deserved it 7 978

By Anonymous - 16/05/2017 20:00

Today, I accidentally superglued my hand to my grandmother's ornate fan while trying to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 448

You deserved it 825

Next

Top comments

dudeman1212 22

Monday 25 August 2014 23:26

Guess he's not a fan of you

expertsmilee 26

Monday 25 August 2014 23:27

I'd rotate roommates if I were you.

Comments

heyithinkyourhot 12

Tuesday 26 August 2014 2:46

Omg! That's a terrible room mate. I'd be pissed

iTzYourDad 10

Tuesday 26 August 2014 3:04

Hope he is paying the bills .

dabomb0513 10

Tuesday 26 August 2014 3:07

White kid sht.

fader48080 10

Tuesday 26 August 2014 3:10

just think how funny it will be when you hand him a bill

tool3rdeye 7

Tuesday 26 August 2014 3:19

Sounds like you need a new roommate as well

urlifesuxbad 1

Tuesday 26 August 2014 3:37

it is kinda funny haha

sjonnie_fml 10

Tuesday 26 August 2014 4:07

atleast it works again

fourknights 1

Tuesday 26 August 2014 4:22

have him arrested for assault

OzzmosizDoge 6

Tuesday 26 August 2014 4:25

Do that to his dick while he sleeps

coltennis 7

Tuesday 26 August 2014 4:25

If the fan was broken, how did it start spinning when your roommate plugged it in? Anyway, tough luck, OP.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 1 236

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I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 127

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I agree, your life sucks 17 586

You deserved it 47 219

Today, I reminded my husband that I was on my period, so he wouldn't try to fool around with me. A few hours later, his goldfish-like memory kicked in and he stuck his hand down my pants while we were going to bed. I was wearing a maxi pad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 764

You deserved it 5 818