Love: Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which...

By justlittleoldme - 12/03/2010 13:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 866

You deserved it 7 304

Watch out for the New Year
It's time to say goodbye to the current year, but when the goodbye goes wrong, it's a different story. Be careful, you might want to stay at home. More…

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Same thing different taste

By aloneinaz - 15/01/2017 20:00

Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 733

You deserved it 844

By Anonymous - 03/06/2010 12:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 472

You deserved it 7 061

By raebelle - 02/06/2011 17:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 647

You deserved it 10 775

The language of love

By Paicked - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 643

You deserved it 17 863

Psychopath's joke

By hannieannie - 20/11/2019 01:00

Today, I’m still recovering from last night. I fell asleep before my boyfriend. He thought it would be funny to stand at the bottom of the bed with a knife and wake me up. I screamed so much that I wet myself and had a panic attack. He recorded the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 045

You deserved it 258

By slightlyworried - 05/04/2013 05:28 - United States - Parker

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 142

You deserved it 3 334

By Anonymous - 19/06/2015 19:00 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 991

You deserved it 3 756

Sorry dear

By Empi - 29/11/2022 10:00

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night with a numb arm. When I tried to reposition it, it flew crazily and slapped my girlfriend in the face. My girlfriend, who was in a string of abusive relationships, and has severe PTSD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 168

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 696

You deserved it 2 385

By joe rogan fucking sucks, dude - 27/04/2014 20:51 - Australia - Warwick

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 142

You deserved it 5 095

Drew_V 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:12

lol I'm sorry thats pretty funny

H00K_M 8

Friday 12 March 2010 16:13

But seriously...what kind of gun was it?

Comments

killabb23 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 7:04

Hahahaha super funny!!

ImmaToxicCupcake 3

Tuesday 5 April 2011 23:27

what an awesome boyfriend xD NOT

callofdutyrox 0

Thursday 23 June 2011 14:40

i bet it was an AK, wait wat bout a Famas, no i think mabe a L96... ill just go with the galil. lol guns r wayyy to inportant

jawjuhh 6

Saturday 17 September 2011 16:56

Christ, man! You know what else is IMportant? Spelling! :O

missemalythecat 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 21:22

your boyfriend is awesome.

itzProPain 10

Saturday 6 August 2011 11:28

3 letters. L-O-L

KentuckyRebel92 8

Thursday 18 August 2011 4:16

Most guys especially country guys like me would ask that.

ChickInGreenVans 12

Tuesday 5 June 2012 11:15

Classic:D..

damoki 8

Wednesday 13 June 2012 22:58

You sound like a needy drama queen

ILoveZombieBoys 13

Wednesday 8 August 2012 8:25

Boyfriend win xD

Bob_Example 7

Friday 12 October 2012 13:13

What did you answer with????!!! AND i wanna know why he want to know, did you see into the future or somethink

Keywords

Health Haircut Hair Miscellaneous Money Christmas Gifts Relatable Lonely Parents Drunk Kids Cars Family Awkward Ironic Love Social Media Technology Narcissistic parents Holidays Relationship advice Dogs Animals Poopoo peepee Annoying My ex Work Religion Shopping

The Top

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 035

You deserved it 3 413

Today, my 14 year-old son asked to join my buddies and me at the gun range. The second I finished the safety lecture and handed him a pistol, he started twirling it on his finger (thankfully, it was unloaded). I smacked him in the head and took him home. Now he's moping and sulking like a bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 221

The Top

Today, I was at my sister's wedding reception. My boyfriend of 3 years decided to give a toast to the happy couple. He was drunk and confessed his undying love to my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 194

You deserved it 3 828

Today, due to summer Ramadan, we have 16 hour long fasts. Normally this is okay, except today I managed to sleep through both suhoor and iftaar. I haven't eaten for 36 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 456

You deserved it 3 793

Today, I bought body chocolate to use in bed with my boyfriend in the hopes of spicing things up. Everything was going great, until I tasted it. It was disgusting and actually made me gag a little. Later, my boyfriend checked the label and started laughing. It had expired 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 672

You deserved it 81 338

Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I called my brother to share the news that I've been sober for a month. He invited me to a bar to celebrate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 432

You deserved it 3 375

Today, I read that using vegetable oil would give your legs a smooth feel, especially if you haven't shaved for weeks. So I tried it out. My legs felt slimy, the oil clogged up the blades, and I was reduced to shaving my legs with a naked razor head and soapy water. Endlessly smooth indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 009

You deserved it 27 767

Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 066

You deserved it 13 760

Same thing different taste

The language of love

Psychopath's joke

Sorry dear

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