Love: Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which...

By justlittleoldme - 12/03/2010 13:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 863

You deserved it 7 303

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Same thing different taste

By aloneinaz - 15/01/2017 20:00

Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 732

You deserved it 843

By Anonymous - 03/06/2010 12:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 469

You deserved it 7 060

By raebelle - 02/06/2011 17:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 644

You deserved it 10 773

The language of love

By Paicked - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 642

You deserved it 17 861

Psychopath's joke

By hannieannie - 20/11/2019 01:00

Today, I’m still recovering from last night. I fell asleep before my boyfriend. He thought it would be funny to stand at the bottom of the bed with a knife and wake me up. I screamed so much that I wet myself and had a panic attack. He recorded the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 038

You deserved it 257

By slightlyworried - 05/04/2013 05:28 - United States - Parker

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 139

You deserved it 3 334

By Anonymous - 19/06/2015 19:00 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 983

You deserved it 3 756

Sorry dear

By Empi - 29/11/2022 10:00

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night with a numb arm. When I tried to reposition it, it flew crazily and slapped my girlfriend in the face. My girlfriend, who was in a string of abusive relationships, and has severe PTSD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 166

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 694

You deserved it 2 376

By joe rogan fucking sucks, dude - 27/04/2014 20:51 - Australia - Warwick

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 140

You deserved it 5 095

Drew_V 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:12

lol I'm sorry thats pretty funny

H00K_M 8

Friday 12 March 2010 16:13

But seriously...what kind of gun was it?

Comments

killabb23 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 7:04

Hahahaha super funny!!

ImmaToxicCupcake 3

Tuesday 5 April 2011 23:27

what an awesome boyfriend xD NOT

callofdutyrox 0

Thursday 23 June 2011 14:40

i bet it was an AK, wait wat bout a Famas, no i think mabe a L96... ill just go with the galil. lol guns r wayyy to inportant

jawjuhh 6

Saturday 17 September 2011 16:56

Christ, man! You know what else is IMportant? Spelling! :O

missemalythecat 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 21:22

your boyfriend is awesome.

itzProPain 10

Saturday 6 August 2011 11:28

3 letters. L-O-L

KentuckyRebel92 8

Thursday 18 August 2011 4:16

Most guys especially country guys like me would ask that.

ChickInGreenVans 12

Tuesday 5 June 2012 11:15

Classic:D..

damoki 8

Wednesday 13 June 2012 22:58

You sound like a needy drama queen

ILoveZombieBoys 13

Wednesday 8 August 2012 8:25

Boyfriend win xD

Bob_Example 7

Friday 12 October 2012 13:13

What did you answer with????!!! AND i wanna know why he want to know, did you see into the future or somethink

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Shopping Work Mental health Stressed out Gross Health AITA Am I overreacting? Love Family Weddings Embarrassing Phone calls Relatable Pranks Shoes Kids Farts Cute Parents Birthday Argument Keys Neighbours Wanker Intimacy Students Coworkers

The Top

Today, like a drunk idiot, I texted my ex to ask if he maybe still had feelings for me. He texted back that yes, he did still have feelings for me, but then he has a wank and the feelings all disappear down the toilet wrapped in a tissue. Not gonna lie, I cried myself to sleep clutching a bottle of Schnapps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 1 622

Today, I’m now so unfit, I had to stop halfway through sex with my wife to catch my breath, and in the end we just gave up, as clearly neither of us was having an orgasm today. I don’t get it, I weigh exactly 11 stone and exercise regularly, but I have no stamina and shit lungs. I hate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 271

You deserved it 345

The Top

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 717

You deserved it 6 138

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 820

You deserved it 7 805

Today, my dad brought the double barrel shotgun to my room, gave me his hat and said, "It's all about survival now. At any cost, Coral." He keeps calling me Coral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 478

You deserved it 251

Today, the "hot" guy I've been talking to for a few weeks sent me a picture. He was very overweight and not good looking at all. He then followed up with, "Now send me one of you so I can prove to all of my friends that you're real." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 884

You deserved it 39 983

Today, I woke up to the most excruciating pain in my jaw. No dentist that takes my insurance has any openings, and the one doctor I can see to get antibiotics isn’t in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 102

Today, after I got a cat to help with my anxiety, it turns out he also has anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 172

Same thing different taste

The language of love

Psychopath's joke

Sorry dear

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