Miscellaneous: Psychopath's joke

Psychopath's joke

By hannieannie - 20/11/2019 01:00

Today, I’m still recovering from last night. I fell asleep before my boyfriend. He thought it would be funny to stand at the bottom of the bed with a knife and wake me up. I screamed so much that I wet myself and had a panic attack. He recorded the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 042

You deserved it 258

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Same thing different taste

Rude awakening

By oww - 15/11/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 255

You deserved it 3 399

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - 15/07/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 751

By Anonymous - 24/02/2011 08:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend snuck into my house and hid in my closet. Knowing that I have a phobia of people jumping out of closets, he nonetheless thought it would be funny to see how I'd react. I had a panic attack and was taken to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 313

You deserved it 6 855

By Anonymous - 29/03/2011 23:58 - Canada

Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 944

You deserved it 3 987

By N O - 27/05/2014 18:47 - Canada - Granton

Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 387

You deserved it 6 967

By breeeeeh - 21/06/2013 22:18 - France - Brou-sur-chantereine

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 681

You deserved it 69 959

By Anonymous - 31/08/2013 20:52 - Norway - Nesoddtangen

Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 930

You deserved it 4 019

By toni405 - 21/07/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 774

You deserved it 11 474

By Anonymous - 06/01/2012 15:50 - United States

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 537

You deserved it 9 415

By soawkward - 26/01/2012 19:09 - Canada

Today, I passed out in the shower with my boyfriend. He just left me there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 029

You deserved it 5 139

mekiswrite 21

Wednesday 20 November 2019 2:10

I hope you mean ex-boyfriend.

blondie45 21

Wednesday 20 November 2019 5:01

You need to ditch that psychopath immediately! I would even go as far as taking out a restraining order.... anyone who thinks that kind of behaviour is appropriate is dangerous...

Comments

mekiswrite 21

Wednesday 20 November 2019 2:10

I hope you mean ex-boyfriend.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 20 November 2019 2:17

Obviously! No one wants to date a bed wetter. Surely he dumped her after her loss of bladder control.

EmDizzle2007 28

Wednesday 20 November 2019 20:03

the most played-out comment on this site by far.

mfranks19891989 10

Wednesday 20 November 2019 3:15

If he put it on YouTube can you post a link to the video I’d like to watch you wet yourself

blondie45 21

Wednesday 20 November 2019 5:01

You need to ditch that psychopath immediately! I would even go as far as taking out a restraining order.... anyone who thinks that kind of behaviour is appropriate is dangerous...

Batman_1872 20

Saturday 20 June 2020 17:31

wow someone's a snowflake

Mungolikecandy 19

Wednesday 20 November 2019 6:59

That is pretty abusive behaviour. There are jokes and then there is abuse and he has crossed a line.

cardin06 15

Wednesday 20 November 2019 12:40

And it was so traumatic that you had to put it on FML? ...jus sayin.

Fickle 6

Wednesday 20 November 2019 13:38

What a douche bag! Hopefully you have enough sense to move free of an asshole like that.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Wednesday 20 November 2019 15:24

If you're still with him, see how he likes your new chainsaw, and hockey mask.

Twinkee718 4

Wednesday 20 November 2019 20:27

That's just an asshole thing to do... I say be done with him.

hannieannie 18

Wednesday 20 November 2019 23:07

Hi, it’s my partner of 6 years and we’re in the middle of a prank war. Safe to say he won!

AmbrosiaFan 18

Thursday 21 November 2019 23:56

Oooh ok then! he won!

J15237 25

Thursday 21 November 2019 1:46

If he is a serious boyfriend who you have future plans with then I would find a way to get him back. If he is temporary I would consider looking for another boyfriend. I mean it is funny, but at the same time once the laugh has happened he does need to move on.