Health: Today, I woke up in an amazing mood and practically jumped out...

By 4lphaNum3R1c4l - 23/08/2018 13:30 - United Kingdom - Feltham

Today, I woke up in an amazing mood and practically jumped out of bed, only to fall flat on my face. In my half-asleep daze I'd forgotten that I'm missing a leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 342

You deserved it 324

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Top comments

Zekfen 17

Thursday 23 August 2018 15:17

Did I hate leg puns create a new account? If not y’all should meet up and swap stories and legs!

Dave_Davington 33

Thursday 23 August 2018 15:24

I hate it when that happens.

Comments

distortedcognition 17

Friday 24 August 2018 3:43

Did that before I was strong enough to walk after a motorcycle wreck. Not a fun way to start a morn.

nonameDE 11

Friday 24 August 2018 8:58

You seem to had a nice dream 😅

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family Cats DIY Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Transportation ADHD Dogs Animals Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 82

Today, my dad is freaking out because he thinks he's next on the list of targets the NYC CEO shooter has. Not because he himself is a healthcare-ruining CEO, but he's a pharmacist who gets death threats every week from patients he can't give medication to, due to insurance companies denying everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 77

The Top

Today, I received an email asking for a Skype interview at 11 am sharp. I waited for half an hour. He never even accepted my contact request. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 875

You deserved it 941

Today, I cleaned my entire house. Ready for a fresh finishing touch in the bedroom, I grabbed the Febreze and lightly sprayed over my clean bedding, carpeting, and clothing. Then a pungent odor hit me. It seems someone forgot to label the bottle when they filled it with vinegar instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 142

You deserved it 705

Today, like for the last year, I’ve been on Tinder. I was having a great conversation with a man and we were planning a date for next week when he asked for my number. When I politely responded that I’d rather wait to exchange numbers after meeting in person, he blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 351

You deserved it 609

Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 875

You deserved it 3 049

Today, I managed to get pregnant on purpose, in hopes to get my cheating boyfriend to stop seeing his side piece. Turns out he’s "not ready to be a dad" and prefers the homewrecking skank and left. Now I’m stuck with rent I can’t afford by myself, and a baby I don’t even want anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 4 985

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 529

You deserved it 6 561