Health: Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm... - FML

By dusk - 05/01/2012 08:09 - United States

Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 035

You deserved it 4 237

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By ShellShocked - 30/03/2013 04:06 - United States

Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 831

You deserved it 3 067

Juicy

By Anonymous - 06/08/2023 18:00

Today, I got excited when I learned that the fruit on the trees by my apartment building was ripe and free to pick. I picked myself some juicy summer plums and enjoyed them. Minutes later, my tongue started burning painfully. Turns out, I'm allergic to plums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 136

By Dammit - 07/07/2012 04:45 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 545

You deserved it 5 870

By aelia_oups - 31/12/2012 22:09 - France - Taverny

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 334

You deserved it 7 539

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 966

You deserved it 3 987

Big tongue logging on

By Anonymous - 09/09/2020 23:01 - United States - Norwich

Today, I spent seven dollars to find out I’m allergic to kiwi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 183

By Anonymous - 22/04/2013 18:42 - United States - Lebanon

Today, I found out that I am allergic to one of the preservatives that they put in aloe. I found this out after I put some on a severe sunburn I have. Not only am I sunburned, but now I am severely itchy as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 047

You deserved it 4 192

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 12/03/2021 23:01

Today, I learned the hard way that I'm allergic to a particular brand of tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 89

There was an attempt

By Anonymous - 25/02/2013 05:44 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact that both of my roommates are aware of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 550

You deserved it 3 747

By djshahso - 26/02/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 669

You deserved it 46 989

Next

Top comments

kidwiththeface42 7

Thursday 5 January 2012 12:07

Too bad you don't live under the sea. I'm sure there's a real estate market for bachelor sponges.

UrLyfSuxx 0

Thursday 5 January 2012 12:05

Pineapple stand :)

Comments

Just_A_Panda 9

Friday 6 January 2012 4:47

Can I have a pineapple?

MeghanBVW2015 5

Friday 6 January 2012 4:58

I feel ur pain. So am I, epipen allergic

Bekeliyr 10

Friday 6 January 2012 4:59

Cause you're allergic to it doesn't mean you can't eat it unless you have a severe allergic reaction. if you just get a small sneeze when you place it orally, it's ok. just wait for a few more seconds then keep eating!

ggdawg24 0

Friday 6 January 2012 4:59

What the hell kind of contest did you enter? Lol

NerdyWaffles 0

Friday 6 January 2012 5:01

There are two reasons why this is a total FML 1. Now you have a butt load of pineapples that you cant eat 2. Pineapples are awesome and it sucks that you are allergic to them. On the bright side u can sell them

Cloudmaker 3

Friday 6 January 2012 5:29

What kind of contest offers a life time supply of pineapple?

yogamaster9000 0

Friday 6 January 2012 5:44

Redirect all pineapple shipments to me?

iLIKEbananas3 0

Friday 6 January 2012 5:48

hook me up with some pina colodas!!

iWaffle 0

Friday 6 January 2012 6:11

Sell all the pineapples and your rich!

dukeunidude 4

Friday 6 January 2012 6:21

Eat one and you won't receive any more from your lifetime supply.

12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers

The Top

Today, I learned that I actually like my boiled eggs a bit softer than I usually make them. I also learned that an outwardly lukewarm egg, when bitten into enthusiastically, is perfectly capable of creating a volcanic eruption of boiling hot yolk all over your hands, clothes and kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 412

Here's the latest video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com, enjoy! Kay Akana, co-founder of 10secondtraumas.com, is also a stand-up comedian in LA. Do go and check out her performances, she did manage to make us lot laugh! ...

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 33

The Top

Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 782

You deserved it 3 457

Today, I left my dog in the car while I quickly ran into a store. I came out to a woman smashing at my window, screaming that it was too hot in the car for the dog and saying I was being inhumane. The car was still running and the air conditioning was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 712

You deserved it 9 085

Today, my boss - AKA Satan - told me I'd better watch out, because I'm now top on his list of people to lay off next time the company downsizes. All I did was give a report to the board admitting that our sales are down this year. He blames me for making him look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 897

You deserved it 3 778

Today, I finally came to terms with the fact that my girlfriend considers me a glorified ATM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 661

You deserved it 31 992

Today, while I was out for a walk, a little boy asked if he could try on my prosthetic leg. Being as nice as possible, knowing that he probably didn't understand, I told him no. He screamed and his mum coldly told me I'm a terrible person and should have let him try it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 372

You deserved it 271

Today, it was my boyfriend and my six-month anniversary. I've really fallen in love with him, and I know he loves me the same. So I got him a really nice gift, a watch he's had his eye on for as long as I've known him. It was expensive. What does he get me? A condom. Three actually. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 225

You deserved it 9 907