Love: Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card that read, "You... - FML

By Chakkamofo - 01/02/2009 22:47 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card that read, "You made it to 36!" It's my 35th birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 006

You deserved it 2 453

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

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Same thing different taste

By divorced - 19/08/2010 10:01 - United States

Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 757

You deserved it 4 568

How can I make this about me?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2022 18:01

Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 163

By you would - 04/03/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140 952

You deserved it 7 657

It's the thought that counts

By Not a day over 35 - 18/06/2013 13:06 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 684

You deserved it 5 832

It's all too much

By Anonymous - 23/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 99

By Anonymous - 19/11/2015 14:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 653

You deserved it 2 027

Short Queen

By Anonymous - 14/08/2024 10:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, it's my 36th birthday. My boyfriend and I celebrated with a big group of our friends, our families, and their kids. Everyone there was taller than me, including my friend's 10 year-old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 109

By Anonymous - 22/07/2009 11:29 - Netherlands

Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned 47. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 766

You deserved it 3 825

Thanks, I guess…

By Gabrielguitar - 25/04/2009 14:23 - United States

Today, it was my birthday and everyone in the office chipped in to buy me a card, and nothing but a card. It had a pre-written message on it and a space to write "Love, *insert name*" where everyone signed their names. The "Love" was crossed out and replaced with "From". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 891

You deserved it 5 316

By salt. - 28/02/2012 22:04 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 177

You deserved it 2 634

Next

Top comments

billybob12345 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 18:31

Really? Thats a problem? The only people I know who care about shit like that are 12 year old girls. Grow a pair.

Chakkamofo 0

Tuesday 3 February 2009 22:28

@darkhelmet: You are wise. I owe you a beer.

Comments

redredblood1 7

Thursday 29 December 2011 16:06

Maybe there was a sale? Bitches love sales :D

viixter 7

Tuesday 29 May 2012 21:51

haha i did the same thing with my sister this year i really thought she ws turning 33 - she was turning 32...oops ! its a genuine mistake dont take it too badly

imlifeless2 25

Wednesday 17 July 2013 12:00

It would be very sad if you didnt make it :(

rjberger1853 8

Friday 15 November 2013 2:53

Well happy birthday anyway. I'm sorry that happened

chuksnwali 34

Monday 12 May 2014 1:10

I guess the big question is, did you?

SJKatt 15

Thursday 26 December 2019 17:18

Why are people so mad about birthdays being forgotten? If it means that much to you remind them of your age every three months. Waaaaah, my wife mixed up my age by one year, waaaaah.

Keywords

Love Surprise Cute Awkward My ex Texting Intimacy Sex Wanker Health Insomnia Sleep Mental health Cooking Food Parents Weekend Kids Pranks Annoying Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Technology Coworkers Zoom Roommate Argument Animals Pizza

The Top

Today, my parents were watching videos of police officers dealing with stubborn suspects. I overheard my mom saying, "It's like a Christian trying to argue with an atheist about God" and my dad agreed. Good to know that they're still as intolerant as ever, and it will never be safe for me to come out as an atheist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 187

Today, my daughter confessed to me she is pregnant from a guy she had a three-minute hook up with in an alley with, but I shouldn’t worry because she’ll make plenty of money from her OnlyFans, since lots of guys like pregnancy porn, Plus it gives her a real good reason to quit smoking. I'm gobsmacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 719

You deserved it 380

The Top

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 966

You deserved it 6 855

Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 183

You deserved it 25 113

Today, my wife straight up knocked my mother out cold with a straight jab to the face, turned to walk away, cracked her neck and announced to the world, “I’ve been waiting 4 years to do that.” What the hell has been going on around here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 241

Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 066

You deserved it 7 218

Today, while trying to help my disabled uncle into his walker, his one testicle popped out of the leg of his short shorts. I asked him to adjust himself and had to hold on to his walker as he did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 484

You deserved it 233

Today, my girlfriend is mentally unhinged. She had a full on temper tantrum and ranted about healthy eating, and how she’s “fat” and needs to lose 30 pounds, all because I suggested Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. She stormed out of the house. I later ran into her at a local pizza place, devouring a pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 170