Love: Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill... - FML

By well i'm fucked - 03/02/2014 22:47 - United States - Aberdeen

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 183

You deserved it 6 854

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/08/2013 07:36 - United States - Goodyear

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 434

You deserved it 6 395

By mike - 07/02/2010 07:16 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she'd carved her old boyfriend's name in her arm, and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 533

You deserved it 4 120

By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 11:28 - United States - Manhattan Beach

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 987

You deserved it 2 119

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 10:16 - India

Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 340

You deserved it 3 455

Awks

By hungryman - 14/07/2009 21:10 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 660

You deserved it 9 109

Rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 05/03/2010 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 717

You deserved it 3 659

By great - 28/02/2015 16:23 - United States - Porter

Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 110

You deserved it 3 372

Flip-flopping

By Brandenn J Moore - 11/07/2021 04:01

Today, my girlfriend, who I've been living with for the last month, told me she's not attracted to me and wants to see other people. She told me this after months of dating and telling me she was thinking about having a child with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 94

By WtfDoIDo?! - 02/07/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that she wants to marry me and have my children. I’m 15. We've been dating for 3 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 207

You deserved it 231

Extreme response

By poordude - 03/04/2021 05:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that our relationship and economic situation is stressing her out so much that she’d rather end her life or marry a rich dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 144

Next

Top comments

mkymouse90 17

Tuesday 4 February 2014 1:06

3 weeks you better run she's crazy!

jnanderson 16

Tuesday 4 February 2014 1:07

Tell her you're sterile

Comments

breakinlegs 19

Tuesday 4 February 2014 1:20

One less idiot in the world.

Godsofdracos 15

Tuesday 4 February 2014 1:48

Darwinism at its finest! Don't even need a shark, with a T-Rex on it's back, with lasers and missiles, and a skeleton riding shotgun to get rid of this one. She's going to do it herself!

magiczebra 9

Tuesday 4 February 2014 1:21

You run. You run so far away.

weveallbeenthere 30

Tuesday 4 February 2014 1:23

run and run fast

purebliss_fml 19

Tuesday 4 February 2014 4:35

What if he sprints?

Ben009 13

Tuesday 4 February 2014 1:24

RUN

Readoll 13

Tuesday 4 February 2014 1:25

Cut off contact.... Any texts she sends, save them.. You might need a restraining order

MysticMonkey 9

Tuesday 4 February 2014 1:25

You shouldn't be held to ransom like that. Emotional blackmail is wrong, run OP.

ZY1431 24

Tuesday 4 February 2014 1:26

run to the hills run for you life :)

Mynamewontfi 40

Tuesday 4 February 2014 1:31

She is not only crazy for wanting a kid so soon, but also for threatening to kill herself over something like that. There is only one advice left: Run as fast as you can and do not look back.

olpally 32

Tuesday 4 February 2014 1:41

Stage 5 clinger!!! Run! Ahhh, 3 weeks? She's a nut bar!

dimple13194 10

Tuesday 4 February 2014 1:44

Get the fvck out

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The Top

Today, I realized I’ve been saying “a whole nother” instead of “a whole other” my entire life. It wasn’t until my friend pointed it out with a smirk I’ve been speaking in an alternate universe. He was also the one to point out last year that my use of "like" every three words was "annoying and cringe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 424

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 3 568

The Top

Today, I was called to my principal's office over one of my Google searches. What was a the horrid thing I'd searched you may ask? “Can you kill someone with an atomic wedgie?” I was talking about a game named ”Bitlife”. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 354

Today, my hours got cut because I couldn't make it into work when they called me in. Why couldn't I make it in? I was in an interview for a better job. I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 767

You deserved it 18 049

Today, I was driving with my little brother when out of nowhere he yelled at me to stop. Thinking it was urgent, I slammed my breaks, almost getting rammed from behind. Why did he yell for me to stop? The Pokémon GO said there was a sparrow near us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 143

You deserved it 1 703

Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 132

You deserved it 3 934

Today, while working as a highway patrol officer, I pulled over my girlfriend for speeding and was required by law to ticket her. Another officer was with me, so I couldn't not ticket her without being reported. We share a joint account, so I basically ticketed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 427

You deserved it 2 763

Today, I blew past my neighbor in my building as he was trying to tell me something. I didn’t care, I was going on my first date since last weekend. It turns out he was reminding me that the fumigation starts tomorrow at 8 AM. The tent is now up and I’m homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 1 455