Miscellaneous: Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese... - FML

By nipman - 25/04/2011 19:12 - United States

Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 206

You deserved it 3 856

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Same thing different taste

By notanightowlanymore - 05/01/2016 17:44 - United States - Clyde

Today, my grandfather showed up at my house in a panic. He rushed over, with a gun, because I wasn't answering his texts and he thought something had happened to me. I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 321

You deserved it 2 130

Class act

By Superfly - 19/07/2021 18:01

Today, my great grandfather got arrested. Why? He is still shell shocked from World War II, so when we went to a hibachi grill, he didn't want any of those, "Damn Japs" to touch his food, and our chef didn't take too kindly to his verbal assault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 239

You deserved it 482

Sleeping danger

By Lovernotafighter - 24/02/2012 11:36 - United Kingdom

Today, my granddad had to start sleeping in my bedroom. He has flashback dreams to when he was a boxer, and he's already lamped my granny three times in his sleep. I get a camp-bed, and the chance to listen to him snore like a wild boar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 419

You deserved it 2 186

By Anonymous - 07/09/2012 22:59 - Australia - Redland Bay

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 579

You deserved it 5 036

By Gomer - 11/04/2014 14:51 - United States - New York

Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 462

You deserved it 5 869

Very very frightening

By graham - 11/01/2020 14:00

Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 849

You deserved it 356

The future

By omen - 02/09/2020 10:01 - Indonesia - Majalengka

Today, I have to take care of my abusive grandpa. He's smearing poop all over the wall and peeing on the bed again. It's still morning and I'm bracing myself for doing this five times a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 644

You deserved it 125

By Anonymous - 09/05/2015 20:50

Today, my drunk grandma flashed me, after confusing me, a 19 year old girl, for my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 913

You deserved it 2 355

By Anonymous - 24/08/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 505

You deserved it 5 413

Who are you?

By forgotten - 02/10/2009 07:46 - United Kingdom

Today, being the nice grandchild that I am, I went to visit my grandmother. She didn't recognise who I was. I thought she was joking. She later called the police as, "Some weirdo had walked into her house." I'm that weirdo; she wasn't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 513

You deserved it 2 850

Next

Top comments

xAustinZx 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 0:32

just be glad he didn't have a flame thrower

flipstar530 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 0:31

BONDING TIME!!

Comments

beeffyboy 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 4:25

where protection

MissBunny25 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 4:26

The people on this thread who are asking if Boners Is serious need help. I mean, honestly, it's boners. Is he ever serious? However, I thought his comment was clever. **** you bitches who can't take humor.

af117 3

Tuesday 26 April 2011 4:29

ehh it's normal, be glad he didn't keep his gun like many vets did

Enzogeorge 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 4:33

were you underwater? LOL

jengers115 10

Tuesday 26 April 2011 4:35

HAHA! Did you say hi to him in Japanese?

nicoleanddrake 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 4:42

well, that says something, donnit?

eskimocallboy 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 4:44

way to copy drake and josh!

Sargasm 4

Tuesday 26 April 2011 4:59

You're turning Japanese He thinks you're turning Japanese He really thinks so Turning Japanese He thinks you're turning Japanese He really thinks so

grimdeath 3

Tuesday 26 April 2011 5:05

I'm surprised he didn't have a heart attack

McLovin1095 5

Tuesday 26 April 2011 5:06

When he's asleep yell "KAMIKAZE" then see what he does

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The Top

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 664

You deserved it 3 777

Today, the girl I love who friendzoned me called to talk. She shared the marvelous things she'd done for her friend's birthday, then said, "You had a recent birthday too." Then she laughed. We'd talked multiple times without her mentioning my birthday. She ignored it on Facebook. Time for no contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 194

The Top

Today, my idiot roommate finally realized that a girl who follows you everywhere like a puppy, always wants to talk to you, and "accidentally" sends nudes is into you. Unfortunately, she's since moved on from him. Now I get to listen to him whine about how unfair it all is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 282

You deserved it 139

Today, my 14-year-old sister came into the bathroom while I was in it. When she saw me, she said sorry and left. Little did I know, she took my electric toothbrush to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 839

You deserved it 566

Today, my husband and I went for our 20 week scan and found out we're having a girl. The first thing he said to me was, "The next one better be a boy or I'm leaving you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 569

You deserved it 4 918

Today, the highlight of my whole month was finally being able to take a solid crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 458

You deserved it 1 778

Today, my mom screamed at me for not saying “Thank you” after she gave me food. Yesterday, she screamed at me for thanking her. I’m 24 and can’t afford to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 116

Today, I went to a movie with a girl I went to high school with. There was a preview for an upcoming 3D movie. I asked her if she had ever seen a 3D movie before. She told me she couldn't because she is blind in one eye. Apparently it's a "sensitive subject." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 549

You deserved it 4 881