Love, Cats and Dad jokes: Welcome to the family!

Welcome to the family!

By Sprtsgeek13 - 13/09/2012 12:37 - United States - Camden

Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 441

You deserved it 2 534

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By sunboy52 - 05/05/2009 07:43 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 889

You deserved it 91 019

By frenchpop1960 - 23/02/2009 21:58 - United States

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 376

You deserved it 41 855

By not picking up - 20/03/2015 17:50 - Slovenia - Zelimlje

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 456

You deserved it 2 611

By Anonymous - 28/12/2013 00:05 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 210

You deserved it 3 812

By Anonymous - 22/11/2014 15:34 - United States - Waterville

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 563

You deserved it 4 512

By Anonymous - 18/08/2011 13:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 757

You deserved it 3 448

Dinner time

By JJ84 - 31/07/2024 12:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I was having a romantic dinner at home with my girlfriend. Everything was perfect—candles, wine, the whole shebang. As we sat down, I felt something moving under the table. I thought it was her playing footsie. Nope, it was our cat with a very live, very tetchy mouse he'd just caught. Cue the screaming and wine spilling everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 104

CLAWS

By Anonymous - 07/06/2009 15:53 - United States

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 975

You deserved it 416 916

By Anonymous - 15/05/2012 03:52 - United States

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 942

You deserved it 2 920

Chatty cat

By Anonymous - 15/12/2014 16:07 - Australia

Today, my cat let out the biggest moan I have ever heard, while we were both in the living room. My dad heard and accused me of watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 523

You deserved it 3 232

Comet_Candy 23

Thursday 13 September 2012 18:50

Your father sounds like an absolute riot!

SweetAsHell 9

Thursday 13 September 2012 18:49

I don't think she's going to want to continue your family line anytime soon, OP.

Comments

meagabug15 3

Thursday 20 September 2012 6:55

My dad does the same thing. How disgustingly weird

YeahItsAmy 2

Sunday 30 September 2012 16:29

That's ******* awesome, I would have laughed my arse off if I was your gf

tashDT 6

Tuesday 30 October 2012 6:49

Haha if I were her I'd be pissing myself laughing then want to top him :P

Lord_Sony 9

Wednesday 12 December 2012 18:41

Looks like somethig i would do too! Your dad rocks!

hoffmanam 13

Sunday 3 March 2013 21:55

that's awesome!!!

Uniqueview 2

Saturday 13 July 2013 0:11

Every time I go on this site I always find one where OP's family acts weird when meeting OP's significant other.

stitesy29 18

Monday 26 August 2013 10:08

What the ****?

Cass_x 22

Sunday 15 December 2013 0:58

well.. it sounds funny tbh

imahobbitlol 24

Monday 27 April 2015 10:11

That would've made me laugh.

NotSoAmazingJo 6

Saturday 26 September 2015 2:36

Omg. That sounds really funny. Your girlfriend would laugh too, if she had a sense of humor. But FYL. At least it wasn't your mom...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me that they were just actors on their lunch break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 999

You deserved it 7 513

Today, my dad is freaking out because he thinks he's next on the list of targets the NYC CEO shooter has. Not because he himself is a healthcare-ruining CEO, but he's a pharmacist who gets death threats every week from patients he can't give medication to, due to insurance companies denying everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 83

The Top

Today, I couldn't convince my grandmother that no matter how much she called AT&T, they will not come and fix her dead computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 676

You deserved it 141

Today, I learned the hard way that my oven mitt has a hole. Time to get a new one, whenever my finger stops burning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 111

Today, my partner, our 5-month-old baby and I had to go to A&E because my idiot boyfriend mistook dishwasher Rinse Aid for cooking oil, and cooked a meal for us in it. As I'm breastfeeding, even our baby needed blood tests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 725

You deserved it 449

Today, I was sexting my boss. I realised that I wasn't texting my boyfriend after I'd sent 2 nudes, and received many sexually provocative responses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 143

You deserved it 19 033

Today, I saw a weight loss 'before and after' advertisement and I wished I could at least look like the 'before'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 427

You deserved it 24 110

Today, I was at Walmart and I asked a guy working there where the scrapbooking stuff was. He led me to the aisle where it was and then said, "By the way, I don't work here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 046

You deserved it 31 652