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TaylorVsNJ_FML

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Egg Harbor Township... wtf?, United States of America
31 years-old
Thursday 28 October 1993
single

About Taylorvsnj_fml

Alright, so I just moved into my aunts house in South Jersey in October (month of my B-Day (worst ever) after being released from placement (juvie). I'm not a bad kid, I was just the unlucky kid. Today I train and use MMA as an outlet. I went to a small town school my whole life until this year. I was always the hot/badass/popular chick, never a bully. I was always looking for a good time. Life hasn't really been a good time for me LOL. Only a month of it. Especially after getting "locked up" and being a nobody here near the Jersey Shore in a town with the gayest name I have ever heard. I'm not going to get into my past to answer "wtf happened." I'm not on here for a guilt tripp, or to share a full life story,`or tell you all the different "be happy" (fail) meds I've been perscribed... Or tell you how to self medicate for your shitty situation... Let's put some humor in this everyday bullshit the sober and honest way! :D

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Taylorvsnj_fml's favorite FMLs

By offbeans - 17/02/2009 02:29 - United States

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 267 503

You deserved it 90 898

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 17:55 - United States

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, bitch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 292

You deserved it 56 118

By Cheese4men - 14/05/2010 23:28 - Canada

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 65

By adad - 01/02/2010 14:34 - France

Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 815

You deserved it 38 043

Procrastination

By Anonymous - 14/10/2009 17:01 - United States

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 117

You deserved it 16 740