Procrastination

By Anonymous - 14/10/2009 17:01 - United States

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks 98 117
You deserved it 16 740
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Top comments

chop_buster 0

Hahaha, I'm an annoying twerp and shit.

105 3
hk_fml 9

LOL xD the wording of this makes it even better.

102 4

Comments

hellawagon 0

that is the greatest fml ever.

9 3
XScarlet 4

Agreed!! This is the best one I've read. Well written, funny and shitty (excuse the pun) at the same time.

7 1
Crazee108 3

the last line of that post made me giggle so hard. xD

16 1
GoTs 0

Totally agree. Thanks OP for making my day 10 times better :D

7 1
dabeachbum 0

the first part of it i just thought EWWWW but the last line just made me laugh so hard lol best fml ever

5 1
VegasFML 0

I laughed so hard that I almost shxt myself. FYL

3 2
Freeze_fml 16

I read this on my iPhone while using the toilet. This FML made me shit myself.

10 4
intint50 0

I have to say that nothing in my life has prepared me for the force of my amusement at this fml. pure poetry.

12 1
jo2ice 0

LMAO! this just made my day!

1 1
lizzilla8297 2

why were you looking for a book to read if you had to take a dump?

1 7
YouCantBreakMe 9

to read on the toilet.

1 1
zyperman43 19

#1 don't rofl, OP's crap is on the floor

5 2
chop_buster 0

Hahaha, I'm an annoying twerp and shit.

105 3
Rach_star 0

Haha, agreed! Although it's pretty sick lol

0 3
metal8214 0

haha this is awesome :D

0 3
princess_ella 0

I agree hahaha one of the funniest fml's ever I literally loled

0 3
eb0ny 15

The FML is irrelevant to the fact he was looking for a book to read. He could've been plucking his nostril hairs and the same thing would've happened.

4 3
Pastor_Rich 0

you're up shit creek without a paddle

41 1
jackkerouc9 0

If you stop eating chipotle, you will be all set my friend.

14 0
Veritas143 0

No all you need is "Chipotlaway!"

9 2
shirvon100 0

its okay with chipoltaway!

0 3
rockyhorrorshow 0

Ah, if only he was blessed with a golden rectum.

4 1
Microbiologist 0

Not only am I reading this on the crapper, but I was horribly disappointed with that episode of Southpark. Woot funny FML

0 3
Boxingsweets 0

Hahaha, thanks for brightening up my day. That was amusing! :D

2 1
perdix 29

I'm sure everyone in the library was disgusted, and then they laughed. Now, they have a story they'll tell for the rest of their lives!

10 5
perdix 29

And the men's rooms always smells of man-on-man love. What do the women's rooms smell like?

2 6
AndelleRae 9

I don't know, all the public ladies rooms 'round these parts smell like fruity pebbles. I'm not sure why.

3 1
perdix 29

AndelleRae, Men's restrooms at libraries specifically always have this odor that is different from any other public restroom. Once, I was at a Border's Bookstore and its men's room had that same smell. Wander into a men's room at a library and take a whiff. If there are men in there, getting raped will be the least of your worries.

1 3
missmasturah 0

Er, hello. He did NOT mention he was in a library, what are you on about?

7 7
perdix 29

These stories are limited to 300 characters. Not words, characters (including spaces). In order to have fun, some of us guess certain things that are not explicitly mentioned. Some of us think it's funny that he pooped in the library. If you can't handle that, tough.

10 2
jonnymohio 2

Keep a book in the bathroom so you don't waste time looking for something to read. Eat more fiber, so you don't have to sit there and wait for things to happen.

7 2
cryssycakesx3 22

I don't think he had to wait very long...

1 2