Miscellaneous: Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after... - FML

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 02:43 - United States - Titusville

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 251

You deserved it 3 525

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Lennyr - 28/08/2016 06:36 - United States - Union City

Today, I gave birth to my first born child. Somehow, my mom and mother in law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother in law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 542

You deserved it 1 094

Family portrait

By Anonymous - 29/05/2022 14:00

Today, I gave birth, but my husband was late and got here just in time to cut the cord. He was hung over after celebrating his impending fatherhood all night. He missed the cord twice, cut it, then fell over, and wound up in the bed next to mine, with a hydrating IV and a bashed head where he hit it on the baby's cot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 187

By Anonymous - 01/11/2010 17:30 - United States

Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 479

You deserved it 10 356

By Anonymous - 04/08/2015 01:28 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I met my wife's mistress, at the maternity ward in the hospital, after she gave birth to our second child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 781

You deserved it 2 143

We meet again

By laprochainefoisjerestealamaison - 25/02/2013 19:47 - France - Montpellier

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterwards tried to comfort me by saying there'd been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 478

You deserved it 5 084

Welcome to the world!

By Anonymous - 01/04/2020 08:00 - United Kingdom - Aldershot

Today, I helped deliver the baby belonging to the woman my husband left me for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 520

You deserved it 160

By Anonymous - 23/01/2011 07:21 - United States

Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 609

You deserved it 8 381

My turn

By Crazy In-Laws - 20/11/2016 22:54 - United States - Danvers

Today, my wife and I both got released from the hospital. She was admitted for the birth of our daughter. I was admitted with a broken arm from when my mother-in-law shoved me out of the way because she wanted to be the first one to hold the baby after my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 623

You deserved it 704

News to me

By RBEE - 12/12/2009 18:02 - France

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 725

You deserved it 4 175

By Anonymous - 11/07/2015 01:23 - Canada - Surrey

Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 880

You deserved it 2 094

Next

Top comments

newyorkcityguy 9

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:22

At least he wasn't busy selling 1.2 million dollars worth of meth.

Mossygirl357 12

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:21

Congratulations on your baby girl.

Comments

manateesarecool 13

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:20

On the bright side, you have a kid now!

ohSNAPyall 26

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:22

Irrelevant.

okudatwo 11

Sunday 15 February 2015 2:03

?

mrmcleod 29

Sunday 15 February 2015 4:13

Is it?

ohSNAPyall 26

Sunday 15 February 2015 4:15

Yes. OP would have had a kid now whether or not her husband had flirted with a nurse.

mrmcleod 29

Sunday 15 February 2015 4:21

But the bright side of the situation is that she is now holding a beautiful baby girl. I don't know, it's part of the FML, I fail to see the irrelevance.

Mossygirl357 12

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:21

Congratulations on your baby girl.

newyorkcityguy 9

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:22

At least he wasn't busy selling 1.2 million dollars worth of meth.

forsaken_ones 9

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:23

I kinda wanna hear the story behind this comment

turquoisee_fml 12

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:25

#5, I'm pretty sure that was just a breaking bad reference

MrConcise 34

Sunday 15 February 2015 1:50

Does Saul handle divorces? OP better call him.

ohSNAPyall 26

Sunday 15 February 2015 3:27

Saul will handle anything.

tossaway2321 5

Sunday 15 February 2015 8:10

I'm not so sure that would be worse

julianbozikovic 20

Sunday 15 February 2015 9:57

Better call Saul!

D3ATHCARDNO7 5

Sunday 15 February 2015 12:58

He has a point you know.

incoherentrmblr 21

Sunday 15 February 2015 20:24

Better call The Wolf from Pulp Fiction...

gatorclay97 28

Tuesday 17 February 2015 15:06

The .2 makes this comment.

cmchappy 25

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:25

He is a ****

BBeffedmylife 28

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:30

I'm so sorry that you have an asshole for a husband. I couldn't imagine how it would feel to go through that during what's supposed to be a positive and beautiful moment.

cheeeksss 29

Sunday 15 February 2015 13:15

I agree. Like his wife JUST delivered a baby. How the **** can he go off and flirt with another woman? It's like a slap in the face to OP.

Haze115 14

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:33

aw congrats on the baby! sorry about the flirting part though

WhatHappenedToIt 22

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:34

Wow! What a douche!

singafairytale 11

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:39

I'm pretty sure that says where your relationship stands. When you are giving him something so special, he's sure showing you his loyalty.

ndnpride88 25

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:40

WoW that sucks. Hopefully you work things out or if he's that daring to do it while your around just imagine what he does when your not

emeraldisle 30

Sunday 15 February 2015 2:55

**you're

mrmcleod 29

Sunday 15 February 2015 4:15

Go away Nazi.

BBlah 26

Saturday 14 February 2015 23:45

Your husband's got some freakin nerve! What the hell

ladyg228 15

Sunday 15 February 2015 19:21

They are both equally at fault. It takes two to tango! Shame on both of them

404wan 19

Tuesday 2 July 2019 8:54

What? How is this ops fault by lying in hospital giving birth?

Keywords

Weird Miscellaneous My ex Awkward Shopping Racism Family Relatable AITA Kids Love Cheating Work Break-ups Cute Animals Cats Sex Intimacy Relationship advice Alcohol Coworkers Mental health Psychology Health Cops Neighbours Scary Stressed out Parents

The Top

Today, I had a whole month off before I started my new job. On day six, I had to go to the ER because of a kidney stone and had to get a ureteral stent. In two weeks they will remove the stone, then another week until they remove the stent. I will be recovered just in time for my first day of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 72

Today, while at a restaurant on a date, I spilled red wine on the white tablecloth. The waiter came over with a new one, saying, "Don't worry, it's not the first time someone's spilled wine here." My date leaned over and whispered, "It's the first time someone's spilled it on me, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 145

The Top

Today, I want on a date with a man I met on the internet. While talking over drinks, I asked him what he did for a living. He said he was a salesman, and that he's really good at it. Interested, I asked him what it was he sold. "Cannabis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 926

You deserved it 1 730

Today, I got into an emotional argument with Cleverbot. I ended up apologizing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 778

You deserved it 2 033

Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 956

You deserved it 6 543

Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 283

Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 874

You deserved it 288

Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 563

You deserved it 3 310