All the FMLs

Passive parenting

By Anonymous - 16/10/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, my 6 year-old son has been using his tablet before bed, and he has been staying up until 12am when his bedtime is 8pm. I think his tablet is why, since he plays games and watches YouTube before bed. He also has the tablet in bed while he’s sleeping. Why does he need to use his tablet overnight? FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 1 231

Hang in there

By Dani - 16/10/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, it's the sixth day of no power after hurricane Milton. No air conditioning and freezing cold showers hit so much harder at 36 weeks pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 88

Teamsports

By Anonymous - 15/10/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my husband is very liberal. Normally this is a good thing, but the people across the street have put out a TRUMP sign and he's gone nuts. He built a massive HARRIS/WALZ sign in our front yard and is hassling the rest of the neighborhood about it. Half of them are putting out TRUMP signs out of spite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 444

Cash grab

By Megan - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I was doing my laundry when I saw a dollar bill at the bottom of the washer. I excitedly dove in to retrieve the money, and promptly hit and broke my nose on the washer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 943

You deserved it 26 333

Double standards

By Anonymous - 15/10/2024 15:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years cheated on me. His reason? "You were flirting with me for a whole year before us when you had a whole boyfriend at the time. How do I know you aren't a cheater?" His further reasoning was that at least if I cheated on him, he'd have a reason to stay with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 406

Am I being detained?

By Anonymous - 15/10/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I tried to make a joke to ease the tension and said, "I’m just trying to keep up with the traffic!" The officer looked around at the empty road and said, "What traffic? Are you under the influence? HANDS ON THE WHEEL!" It went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 597

It's trending again

By Anonymous - 15/10/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to start my exciting new job. I knew I needed a good night's sleep to prepare but because of the excitement I was worried, so I decided to try that tart cherry juice I kept seeing on TikTok to help me sleep. It worked. A little too well. I woke up 14 hours later, missed my first day, got fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 556

Brief encounter

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Pewaukee

Today, a guy I have been crushing on since forever finally talked to me. Too bad it happened after an anxiety attack when he carried me from class to the nurse's. The first thing he said to me when I came to was, "You're heavier than you look." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 712

You deserved it 1 417

Was it worth it?

By Jake - 15/10/2024 10:00 - United States - Glastonbury

Today, I went to the orthopedist resulting from an incident last Sunday during a baseball game. After crushing a hit into right field, I slid into second base, making it thankfully, toppling over the base. The orthopedist needs a STAT MRI about a possible torn ACL and a possible torn MCL. We also lost 22-1. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 128

Disk horse

By anon - 15/10/2024 12:00 - Canada

Today, my professor asked me a question in class. Thinking it was a rhetorical question, I shrugged and said, "Google it." It wasn't. He stared at me in silence for the longest 10 seconds of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 730

Shameless

By Anonymous - 15/10/2024 00:00 - United States - Springfield

Today, I was asked, "What do you want for Christmas?" so I sent a link to a personalized "Mama" sweatshirt with my kids' names on it. My mother-in-law is now wearing the sweater I sent, with "Grandma" on it with her grand-kids' names. The same personalized one I'd sent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 103

Extreme bathtimes

By Anonymous - 15/10/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I am a silly man who thought I could still get in and out of the bath at 76 years-old, even though I have only had showers for the past 15 years. So, when I got stuck in the bath, I had to call my poor wife to come and help my naked ass stand up, and yes, she asked me to write this for laughs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 124

Help wanted…

By lexithepirate - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a doctor's appointment. I left with referrals to both a dermatologist and a mental health professional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 260

You deserved it 2 865

Worst babysitter ever

By Anonymous - 15/10/2024 00:00 - United States - Memphis

Today, I tripped over a laundry basket while carrying my baby niece. Don’t worry, I threw her onto the couch safely. I, however, face-planted into the coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 90

Argument ender

By Anonymous - 14/10/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I was arguing with my girlfriend when my dog brought me a squeaky toy and tried shoving it into my hand so I could throw it for him. Out of habit, I grabbed it, but then it squeaked every time I tried to make a serious point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 408

Knackered

By Phil - 14/10/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I fell asleep on the bus after a long day. I woke up to the driver nudging me, saying, "End of the line, mate." I had no idea where I was, and it was raining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 133

Dang y'all

By Kayak - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 870

You deserved it 4 584

In the doghouse

By Anonymous - 14/10/2024 16:00

Today, my toddler started running around the house yelling, "Daddy said a bad word!" over and over again. I don't even know what I allegedly said, but now my wife is giving me the "we need to talk" look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 90

Never forget

By Anonymous - 14/10/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, the guy I went to prom with way back in 2006 decided to message me out of the blue. He’s now one of those red pill, MGTOW, woman-hater types. He told me all the reasons he’s too good for me, and why I’ll never have a man like him. I’ve spoken to him maybe twice in the last 18 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 83

How on Earth…?

By Ouch - 14/10/2024 05:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I cut my finger trying to open a door. Yes, I am just as confused as you are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 70

Badass

By Anonymous - 14/10/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I taught my daughter to tell a teacher if she was being bullied. My husband however taught her teachers are useless, and if you punch bullies in the balls really hard, they will bend forwards which puts them in a good position for an uppercut that will knock out teeth. The school is furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 177

Get back here!

By Anonymous - 14/10/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I left my apartment window open for some fresh air. When I returned, my idiot cat was on the balcony staring at me... from my neighbor’s apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 361

Underfunded and underappreciated

By lrn2spel, teach - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Mogadore

Today, I got back the essay I wrote about how my country's education system is fucked. At one point, I made a spelling mistake. My teacher wrote a note about it, basically calling me illiterate, and telling me to pay attention in school instead of whining about it. She misspelled "school". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 055

You deserved it 4 673

Sheila Take a Bow

By Ash090 - 13/10/2024 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I came to realize that dating as an overweight girl sucks. I can’t get a guy to commit/stay to save my life. I go on dating apps, and when we exchange photos or meet in person they abandon me. I know that this will change if I lose weight, but is it wrong for me to want to be loved for who I am? FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 592

Not a people person

By Just me - 13/10/2024 22:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, I walked into a public toilet and I opened a stall door, only to discover someone who had forgotten to lock the door sitting on the can. Instead of saying "Sorry," I panicked and said, "Nice shoes!" I then had to wait until they left because I was too embarrassed to face them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 167

This is fine

By Aaaaaaaah - 13/10/2024 20:00 - New Zealand

Today, I started a new job. As I was introducing myself during the morning get together with the team, I forgot how old I was, and panicked. I ended up saying I was "twenty-fine." I’m 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 303

No, not now!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Estonia - Tartu

Today, in a hardware store, I had to physically restrain my senile grandpa from trying to take a crap in one of the display toilets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 795

You deserved it 1 043

New phone, who dis?

By Raleigh - 13/10/2024 16:00 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 121

Sweet baby

By Please stay alive - 13/10/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I've been assigned to watch my friend's cat while he's away from home. His cat is 22 years-old and very grumpy. Most of my time has been spent making sure she's not dead, and getting attacked when I accidentally interrupt her naps. I've already got a few scratches. This is gonna be a long few days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 244

Bling

By Elisha - 13/10/2024 00:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I spent five hours extracting gold flakes from river sand. When I took it to the pawn shop, the dealer laughed in my face and said it was Fool's Gold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 474

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Health Love Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 18

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 551

You deserved it 7 856

The Top

Today, I was passed over for a team lead role at work which went to my older male coworker instead. He repeatedly said that he only wanted the position for the money and didn’t care about leading. When I asked why he was offered the role over me, they said he had more leadership experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 032

You deserved it 275

Today, I decided to take a personal day from class and e-mailed all of my profs saying I had flu symptoms. While standing in line at Starbucks later, someone behind me says "Glad you're feeling better. Hope you can attend class tomorrow, we'll discuss lying." It was my Ethics professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 865

You deserved it 59 577

Today, at a cheap restaurant, my dad asked me if I wanted a straw. I declined, saying I wanted to do my bit for the environment and not waste plastic when I'm fine without. He grabbed three and dropped them on the sticky table, "just in case." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 693

You deserved it 514

Today, I got fired, apparently for being racist to black people. When I told my boyfriend, he couldn't stop laughing. He's black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 507

You deserved it 3 391

Today, I got in my car. When I sat down, I realized a cat had got in the back seat. The cat startled me so I jumped out and slammed the door. Locking myself out. I watched the cat scratch my seats up for an hour. I'm highly allergic to cats. I can't get in my own car without breaking out in hives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 66

Today, my girlfriend and I went down to the pier. I brought an empty bottle and some paper, and we both constructed a massive letter expressing our passionate love for each other. We stuck it in the bottle, and threw it out to sea, only to see it explode in slow motion on a protruding rock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 829

You deserved it 15 229