Anxiety, Insects and Animals: Wailing

Wailing

By katchoo - 03/11/2013 07:34 - Denmark

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 599

You deserved it 8 495

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 287

You deserved it 14 263

By Shrieking_Shack_Maiden - 07/09/2018 23:30

Today, I got to experience the unadulterated horror of waking up to a spider crawling across my face. My screaming woke the neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 666

You deserved it 261

Bath time [GONE WRONG][CREEPYPASTA]

By noname - 27/12/2008 04:07 - France

Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 307

You deserved it 23 902

By Anonymous - 19/06/2015 19:00 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 986

You deserved it 3 756

By eebie jeebies - 30/05/2016 15:31 - United States - Cypress

Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 483

You deserved it 3 180

By Anonymous - 18/10/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 229

You deserved it 41 625

By eyes wide SHIT - 28/12/2013 01:37 - Australia

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 024

You deserved it 5 960

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 323

Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 462

By spiderhater - 12/04/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106 799

You deserved it 5 322

Draconium 8

Sunday 3 November 2013 15:33

Technically someone WAS being murdered. Spiders have feelings too. ;_:

kitkat2701 18

Sunday 3 November 2013 15:33

That must've been awkward to explain...

Comments

kitkat2701 18

Sunday 3 November 2013 15:33

That must've been awkward to explain...

puggypark 14

Sunday 3 November 2013 15:38

The spiders will be coming for you OP

PuggieKid 22

Sunday 3 November 2013 16:20

At least you have caring neighbours?..

justmeandmycatss 9

Sunday 3 November 2013 16:26

umm… yes. "Your neighbor has a complaint about noses heard that sounded like someone was being murdered. May we come inside?" "Uhhh…"

Sports_guy3 28

Sunday 3 November 2013 16:38

Someone WAS being murdered. ;-)

Draconium 8

Sunday 3 November 2013 15:33

Technically someone WAS being murdered. Spiders have feelings too. ;_:

TourettesGuyFTW 25

Sunday 3 November 2013 15:56

In this case, the feeling is flatness.

caohm 18

Sunday 3 November 2013 15:57

when a spider of any size is that close to anyone its just primal instincts say CRUSH! KILL IT! SMASH IT! until you pulverized it so bad you can't tell what it used to be.

KingreX32 21

Sunday 3 November 2013 20:09

spiders are the spawn of Satan.

swaggalikethat 22

Sunday 3 November 2013 20:20

When you put it that way #2, then Op IS a murderer :0 CALL THE POLICE (again) THERE'S A MURDERER ON THE LOOSE!!!

154rct 7

Sunday 3 November 2013 20:44

"Hey, my family is cold, can we sleep in your bed tonight? Or squish my wife...that's cool to."

Sports_guy3 28

Monday 4 November 2013 17:55

OP: "Why am I going to jail?! I didn't murder anybody!" Police: "Yes you did. The spider."

Wizzlbang 10

Tuesday 5 November 2013 9:45

Actually, the fear of spiders and most insects is a largely culturebound thing, largely restricted to the western world. Which is weird, considering that's where all the most harmless spiders are.

omgomgomg_NO 13

Sunday 3 November 2013 15:35

ah, the webs we weave...

ebonyirony 29

Sunday 3 November 2013 16:09

"What a tangled web we weave"

Rainhawk94 27

Sunday 3 November 2013 16:50

Killjoy

Tikmysta 20

Tuesday 14 July 2015 7:21

Oh no, you didn't Brilliant!

karatekid97 17

Sunday 3 November 2013 15:35

Okay, I feel like a follow up story is DEFINITELY needed here.

Dracoboxer357 35

Sunday 3 November 2013 15:36

Confucius say no use cannon ball to kill mosquito. The point? You over reacted. :p At least using a cannon can justify having several minutes of drama attached to the actual act. ;P

Faff 20

Sunday 3 November 2013 19:24

i feel like every single person on this site has anxiety.

whyisitme12 19

Monday 4 November 2013 3:14

Confucius is why I'm failing history, why does he have to be so complicated!!

avi_7 9

Sunday 3 November 2013 15:37

poor spider

fakedsincerity 32

Sunday 3 November 2013 23:30

incy wincy will climb up the water spout no more. RIP. :(

awilliams44 9

Sunday 3 November 2013 15:39

No just the spider....

transcedental 18

Sunday 3 November 2013 15:40

I can imagine the white outline of the spider's tiny smashed legs.. and how the police officers examine the murder weapon. Heh-eh.. what's wrong with me.

Welshite 39

Sunday 3 November 2013 15:47

Cause of death: blunt force trauma.

Aussieinusa 5

Sunday 3 November 2013 15:58

I wonder if the police took Ops fingerprints?

Welshite 39

Sunday 3 November 2013 17:06

They had to check the mandible records of the deceased so they could inform the family. Tragic, absolutely tragic.

KVKdragon 26

Thursday 7 November 2013 2:18

I imagine a highly publicized trial will take place soon after. This is not a Stand Your Ground situation since the spider merely walked by without criminal intent or purpose and the OP killed it in cold blood ;)