Holidays

All is quiet on New Year's Day

By EdwinOEF - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Arab Emirates

Today, I flew to Dubai, en route to my new job in Afghanistan. Both of my bags were lost, my debit card was frozen in London, the next flight was cancelled, and I can't get a hotel room. I'm in the richest city in world with no money and no room. Happy New Year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 950

You deserved it 3 106

Glummy new year

By Anonymous - 31/12/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I spent all year avoiding COVID, colds, and flu. On December 30th, I caught the worst cold of my life. I’ll be ringing in the new year in bed, with tissues as my only company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 80

Slick moves

By Frank - 30/12/2024 20:00 - Australia - Daylesford

Today, I tried doing a backflip off the diving board into our hotel's swimming pool. Instead, I flopped into the pool so hard it sounded like a cannonball, and now my stomach is bright red. My friends will probably bring this up for the rest of our holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 424

Stick the landing

By Anonymous - 30/12/2024 03:00 - Canada

Today, I confidently told a funny story during a holiday family dinner. Nobody laughed, except my younger cousin, who snorted so hard at the way I'd flopped into complete silence, he sprayed cranberry sauce across the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 112

Make it stop

By Anonymous - 29/12/2024 03:00 - United States - Warren

Today, the cold I caught last Friday decided to go into the home stretch the day after Christmas. I have sneezing fits late at night. Typically ten sneezes or more in a row and I have no idea when this stupid cold will end. Surprisingly, the worst I had before this was a sore throat and a bit of dry mouth. That's it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 83

Stay home next year

By Anonymous - 26/12/2024 04:30 - India - Puducherry

Today, my father is a 70 year-old narcissist deep in debt - because he spends so much to show off and boost his ego to unknown people - but never spends a single cent on family. He nags me non stop and shouts that he's going to die in front of my toddlers. Why did I want to visit family for holidays? FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 107

Merry Christmas!

By John Nani - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's Christmas Day. Normally, my family would be opening gifts right now. Instead, my mom is holding our gifts hostage until we clean the house. Apparently, "The presents aren't going anywhere." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 471

You deserved it 29 852

Stay strong, sister

By Hurting TransGirl - 25/12/2024 02:00 - United States - Franklin

Today, I sit isolated from my family with presents I cannot give. Though I respect my brother's religious beliefs and life ideals, he chooses to hate mine. He has gone out of his way to refuse patching up our relationship and now my parents who are at his house are not answering their phone. "Merry X-mas…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 173

Bogged down

By Anonymous - 24/12/2024 11:00 - United States - Randle

Today, the morning before my flight with my boyfriend’s family at 2 am, I had to use the bathroom and unfortunately the toilet got clogged after a couple of safety flushes. Turns out my boyfriend can’t unclog the toilet and it’s the only toilet in the house of four people. We leave at 5 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 100

Have yourself a merry little Xmas

By XmasGrinch - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, on Christmas Eve, as I was getting my car loaded for the holiday rounds to the in-laws and parents, my car decided now was the time to break down. I recently put in over $1000 fixing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 587

You deserved it 653

A cat called Bruce

By Dave - 24/12/2024 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, we spent hours decorating the Christmas tree, perfectly balancing the lights, ornaments, and tinsel. Ten minutes later, the cat thought it was a right time to reenact Die Hard and climbed up the tree, knocking it over. Now my ornaments are shattered, and my cat is smugly sitting in the wreckage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 207

Festive spirit

By crappyeve - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was having a Christmas Eve party and my sewer got backed up. Everyone had to go home and now I have to wait until Monday to get it fixed. It's a 15-minute drive to the local McDonald's to take a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 094

You deserved it 1 025

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 23/12/2024 12:00 - Ireland

Today, I finally finished my Christmas shopping and felt like an absolute champion. That was until I got home and realized I'd left one of the shopping bags in the parking lot. The bag contained the most expensive gift I'd bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 181

Some me time

By Soon to be a widow - 19/12/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my husband had confessed that we couldn't go on a vacation this spring because he was out of vacation time. He took two weeks off and pretended to go to work, then came home once I'd left. Another woman? No, some stupid shit in his video game called "Runescape Leagues." FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 158

Yuletide rule

By Black sheep PhD - 18/12/2024 15:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I want the holidays to be over. My mom's family thinks I'm an ungrateful brat and a troublemaker because I don't want to see my relatives who are constantly in jail, between jobs, drunk, owing child support, and trash talking the people who lovingly raised me and who died years ago. I only come for my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 67

Christmas Chaos

By shaggyberaddy - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I spent 15 minutes trying to get my cat out of our seven-foot Christmas tree. Once he was done, he tore about the house and broke the nativity scene, beheading baby Jesus and a wise man in the process. The tree is fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 808

You deserved it 1 048

Spare part

By Marrrissa - 14/12/2024 21:00 - United States

Today, I'm all alone for the holidays. The guy I was kicking it with ghosted me. I went to the guy I rejected for being too overweight for my taste, and not only has he lost weight, he now has a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 1 163

Unwelcome

By num1piglover - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Raritan

Today, my dad told my mom to only drop off my sister for Thanksgiving and not me. Guess I was wrong about him wanting to work on our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 084

You deserved it 807

USA! USA! USA!

By Your turkey stinks anyway - 27/11/2024 09:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was uninvited to our usual family Thanksgiving, as well as the rest of the holidays with my extended family. Why? They found out who I voted for. I won't say who, but according to my aunt, I'm to blame for putting their son's healthcare at risk. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 1 142

Power shortage

By Anonymous - 14/11/2024 08:00 - Mexico - Zapopan

Today, on vacation with family, the power goes off in the middle of the night. I wake up as the A/C starts dripping on my head. No air, wet pillow, can't sleep, but I decide to tough it out until morning rather than wake everyone. In the morning, I discovered my sister had hit the breaker because she couldn't find the light switch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 87

Tough crowd

By Anonymous - 19/10/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my application for a holiday role at a department store was declined because I was "not as qualified as some other candidates." I worked this exact same job at this exact same store last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 91

Happy Fourth of July

By Help - 05/07/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I tried to comfort my cats from fireworks. Problem is, I also have really sensitive hearing, so fireworks are distressing to me as well. My cats didn't take kindly to me being distressed and just became more irritable. They took their irritability out on me. Now I look like I fought a bear or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 178

July the fourth be with you!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Loveland

Today, during my family's traditional fourth of July weekend celebration, my water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 043

You deserved it 3 516

What happened here?

By Lisa - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I came home from my vacation. My sister had been taking care of my dog and my apartment while I was away. As I walked in, I was greeted by a floor covered in poop and a destroyed couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 014

You deserved it 334

Go vegan!

By Anon - 28/05/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I posted in the family group chat, asking if there would be plant-based food options for the Memorial Day barbecue, since I am vegan. All they sent were laughing emojis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 811

What happens on vacation stays on vacation

By Anonymous - 05/02/2024 07:00 - Canada - Field

Today, I got back from a fun vacation I took with my husband. During the vacation, I participated in a wet t-shirt contest and a bunch of pictures of me flashing my breasts and waving my t shirt over my head during the contest got posted online. My whole office is teasing me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 1 056

Christmas motivation?

By runfattyrun - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia - Abbotsford

Today, I got a gym membership for Christmas, from 3 different people. I think my family's trying to tell me something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 784

You deserved it 1 411

Perfect!

By BahHumbug - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Painesville

Today, after weeks of keeping it a secret, I excitedly gave my boyfriend what I thought to be the perfect Christmas present. Turns out lock picking sets are illegal in Ohio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 343

You deserved it 8 164

Neil Diamond was wrong

By LucyLollipop - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 271

You deserved it 938

Young love

By Anonymous - 21/12/2023 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son is actually going on holiday over Christmas with some girl he met in a bar. He’s barely known her a week and is already dipping into his savings to keep her happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 154

Keywords

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The Top

Today, after my wife just cashed in $160,000 in stock options, my Christmas present was two pairs of socks she bought with REI credit. I suppose it’s better than last year’s spatula. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 101

Today, I realized just how spoiled and immature my boyfriend is when I asked him several times what he’d like for dinner. Getting no answer, I made steak, potatoes and salad. He then sulked and refused to eat it, since he wanted spaghetti and meatballs instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 307

You deserved it 408

The Top

Today, the summer camp I work at had its annual scavenger hunt, wherein the counselors hide and the kids look for us. It was my first year there, so some of my colleagues showed me the "best hiding spot." Two hours later, still undiscovered, I realized they just wanted to get rid of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 594

You deserved it 3 096

Today, thanks to years of verbal abuse from my mother, I can't even watch a ten-minute YouTube video without hearing her voice in my head, telling me to get off my lazy ass and do something. I can't afford therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 140

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 916

You deserved it 8 798

Today, my new neighbours moved in. I had always thought my bedroom wall was soundproof, because my old neighbours never complained about my loud night terrors. Turns out they were just stone deaf. The new ones can hear everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 139

Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 777

You deserved it 8 243

Today, during my religion class, my instructor decided to use the state of the class's cars as a metaphor for our relationship with God. When I told him my car had been totalled in an accident last week, he yelled at me for being an "agent of Satan." One class down, 59 to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 235