Intimacy: Ah, young love…

Ah, young love…

By HotAsTits - 20/03/2011 20:31 - United States

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 998

You deserved it 10 483

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By seepeezy32 - 02/02/2011 02:32

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 333

You deserved it 71 456

Pranked!

By RetroDayDreamer - 10/09/2011 15:46 - United States

Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 442

You deserved it 28 884

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 236

You deserved it 96 460

By myself - 20/09/2012 07:00 - United States - Seaside

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 460

You deserved it 31 247

Excuse me

By Anonymous - 30/03/2015 10:30 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 322

You deserved it 3 801

By Anonymous - 26/12/2009 08:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 628

You deserved it 3 846

By loganHchrist - 09/01/2014 00:53 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. They thought it would be funny to pretend that they're nudists. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 037

You deserved it 4 974

By GoldenTornado11 - 10/05/2017 14:00

Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 141

You deserved it 559

By mster233 - 09/10/2010 03:29 - United States

Today, I found out that my parents like rough sex. I found the whip and handcuffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 343

You deserved it 5 828

By Anon - 15/03/2016 06:52 - United States - Pasco

Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 875

You deserved it 3 049

jess6blondie9 2

Sunday 20 March 2011 23:32

Haha aww. All parents are going to embarrass you with the stories from when you were younger, don't worry.

insanesna1l 0

Monday 21 March 2011 12:48

and in Australia it's pronounced "Beer"

Comments

UnfOrg1ven 1

Tuesday 14 June 2011 7:28

haha this made my day

ThisRandomChild 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 9:49

The only difference now is, it isnt a puppet and you dont talk to it...

greeatgamerr5 4

Friday 19 August 2011 4:00

Did it have googly eyes on it? ;P

Cealinus 0

Monday 22 August 2011 7:49

I still do this!!!!

JustHayden 5

Tuesday 27 November 2012 12:54

Thank god I never did anything like that, my parents would have done the same.

appforthat 9

Wednesday 7 August 2013 17:09

HAHAHAHAHA What was his/her names

magnetic_aura 26

Friday 19 September 2014 2:20

That sucks, but I laughed out loud. Sorry, OP!

chocolate486 4

Sunday 26 July 2015 5:47

I feel for you, but that's really funny. Sorry OP

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous DIY Cats Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 791

You deserved it 11 207

Today, I tried reaching out to a brand on Instagram, telling them I'm a rising influencer and would love a free sample of some of their products to review. They replied back with a laughing emoji and "You have 44 followers. Eat shit." Then they posted it on their story, with my name listed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 1 357

The Top

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 805

You deserved it 8 964

Today, my friend casually asked if she could “gift” me to her husband for his birthday threesome. I told her she was being rude, and made me feel cheap and objectified. She scoffed and said, "What’s the big deal? Aren’t all you bi chicks into that anyway?” No. No I’m not. So much for friendship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 222

You deserved it 380

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from school. The secretary said that my husband had already picked her up two hours ago. I don't have a husband. He left while I was pregnant with her 6 years ago. The secretary said “no one told her” she had to check ID’s before releasing a child for early dismissal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 259

You deserved it 115

Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 872

You deserved it 4 425

Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 773

You deserved it 3 573

Today, I hired out a motel room so I could stay there by myself and lie to my mother and grandmother about having friends. This is the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 540

You deserved it 15 561