Intimacy, Sex, Awkward and Love: Awkward - FML

Awkward

By Jeremy - 07/08/2009 02:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was getting it on with a girl I've been talking to for three months. She's a year younger than me and it was her first time. So, I went easy. After five minutes she started crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said that I reminded her of her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 429

You deserved it 7 423

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Same thing different taste

By Brett meek - 19/02/2010 07:41 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 610

You deserved it 3 642

By fingerfuckd - 29/04/2009 15:47 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166 731

You deserved it 13 694

Fond memories

By -_- - 13/08/2011 00:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 843

You deserved it 4 639

By walker - 06/07/2013 04:17 - United States

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 697

You deserved it 4 910

By shoggoth_wild - 27/02/2015 14:13 - United States - Jackson

Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about times we'd made our mothers cry. She said she'd only made her mother cry once. When I asked when, she said, "When I told her I was thinking about dating you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 975

You deserved it 3 529

By talkssuck - 30/03/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 478

You deserved it 18 538

Unloveable

By Anonymous - 16/01/2021 23:01

Today, I was paired up with a girl in my class for a project. She started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 92

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Spicy

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 469

You deserved it 9 863

Submission

By Anonymous - 24/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontaneous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 516

You deserved it 1 909

Show and tell

By Boyufd - 22/04/2020 23:00

Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 179

You deserved it 313

Next

Top comments

mayhembaby 0

Friday 7 August 2009 12:07

woww... that's a little more **** her life?

meme3 0

Friday 7 August 2009 12:07

Oh God..... Oh Giggity :D!

Comments

LexiBiersack 8

Thursday 28 March 2013 3:14

Guys what if her dad raped her or something?

Wealthyparrot 9

Saturday 18 May 2013 7:01

Then it wouldn't be her first time... and in all likelihood, she wouldn't have agreed to sex in the first place.

ash268 18

Tuesday 14 May 2013 4:26

Ewwwewwewee

tmc8907 18

Saturday 28 September 2013 3:24

What were you doing in bed for her to suddenly realize that?

rougeunicorn03 17

Sunday 29 September 2013 2:59

...Yikes

Peebo_man 12

Thursday 12 December 2013 4:25

That's a Dealbreaker Ladies!

cnparks1990 9

Thursday 23 January 2014 5:46

(cleveland voice) ohh thats nastyy

shujaswati 20

Saturday 10 May 2014 14:58

Does someone said "daddy problems"....?

Rammer3500 23

Friday 10 June 2016 16:37

Thats kinda ****** up... What you did, not the dad thing. Hooking up for her first time? Nope.

Cavsfodawin 21

Saturday 2 July 2016 1:41

Interesting.

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The Top

Today, I was getting ready to relax on my couch and watch TV under a comforter. I had a bag of snacks and the remote in one hand, and a glass of Coke in the other. Usually, I throw the remote onto the couch before settling down… only this time I had it in my left hand and not my right. At least the glass didn't shatter this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 400

Today, a week after spending most of my paycheck on a down-payment and rent on a new apartment, I found out the "landlord" I paid was a scammer. Turns out the real owner was away on vacation, and he'd stolen most of her stuff before showing me the place. FML

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The Top

Today, I found the perfect job, which would help me escape my super toxic in-laws and marriage. I have all the educational and other qualifications for it, and it is a permanent well paying job with the government. Too bad the recruitment process takes years to complete, by which time I might've offed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 186

Today, I realized I've been acting very paranoid lately. I was mugged a few weeks ago, so I've been nervous. I've been holding my hands in my pockets and looking around on my way outside from work. Apparently, that's grounds to arrest someone under suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 373

You deserved it 3 324

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 386

You deserved it 6 389

Today, I went up to a random stranger and said, "Hey, you don't know me, but I know you're about to make a huge mistake!" for a prank video. She had a massive meltdown and screamed at me. The police came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 2 078

Today, an interviewer kept me waiting for 20 minutes at reception, then marked me "late" in his feedback. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 84

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 829

You deserved it 6 108