Stuck

HELP!

By anon - 07/01/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I thought I could try and fix the broken door handle on my bedroom door. After a series of unsuccessful attempts, I got stuck inside my room. The only person who knew? My roommate, who was too busy playing loud video games to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 70

Where are we?

By Jobless - 22/09/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, I got in the elevator with my dog and pressed the button for my floor. Instead of going up, it dropped two floors and opened up to a random basement room filled with nothing but mannequins, and wouldn't go back up. I had to fumble our way to the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 85

Goddamn cat!

By Anonymous - 22/08/2024 00:00 - United States - Monsey

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and I noticed the balcony door was open. As I went to go close it, I swear I saw my cat wondering outside and I panicked. Long story short, I locked myself out searching for the cat and the next thing I knew, he was meowing at me from the balcony a few feet above me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 185

The future looks bleak

By Anonymous - 29/07/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I had an epic, two-hour conversation with a brilliant, beautiful future leader of our industry. She's an intern. I'm just some loser horndog of a senior manager in another department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 542

Roadworks

By Anonymous - 30/07/2023 11:00 - Australia

Today, I went to pick my daughter up from school, only to find that a contractor had parked his car across my driveway. After squeezing my car out, I went to drive out of my street, only to find it had been blocked off. I drove in the other direction to find that a bulldozer was blocking the other end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 126

LET ME OUT!

By Anonymous - 16/03/2023 14:00 - United States

Today, I got stuck in an elevator with a group of people who smelled like they bathed in garlic. It was so bad that I'm pretty sure Dracula would have tried to claw his way out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 103

Baby please come home

By Anonymous - 07/03/2023 00:00 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I accidentally locked myself out of my apartment while taking the trash out, without my phone. I had to wait outside for three hours until my flatmate came home from work to let me back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 249

Healthy lifestyle influencer

By Anonymous - 23/02/2023 22:00 - Canada

Today, I went to the gym and got locked in the locker room. I had to call the gym's phone number to get them to come let me out, after being in there for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 151

HELP! HEEEELP! DON'T JUST STAND THERE!

By RhuLynette - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I managed to get locked inside a caravan toilet. My relatives heard me having a panic attack and instead of unlocking the door, they called the neighbours over to enjoy my anguish and embarrassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 385

You deserved it 3 128

My brother, the doofus

By AshlynnPrime - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Owensboro

Today, I was watching TV when my sister-in-law called me, laughing. It turns out my brother got his head stuck between the bars on the stairs. Again. My brother is 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 356

You deserved it 3 220

Trapped

By Anonymous - 05/08/2022 20:00 - United States - Caldwell

Today, me, my mom, and my brother lost our house, the place we had lived for my whole life. I can't describe the pain I feel because my whole life was painted around that town. I had also just made friends as we were moving. I now live with 7 other people from my family. I can't be myself and I don't have my own room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 149

HELP! I NEED SOMEBODY!

By Anonymous - 26/07/2022 16:00

Today, I stayed home from work because I'd had diarrhea for 24 hours and my gut felt horrible. I decided to at least enjoy some sun on my back porch in my swing chair. I stepped on an old board and my leg fell through to the knee, I couldn't move, and I was home alone. My neighbor cut the board that got me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 125

Stuck outside

By Ryan S - 16/06/2022 18:00

Today, I blew past my neighbor in my building as he was trying to tell me something. I didn’t care, I was going on my first date since last weekend. It turns out he was reminding me that the fumigation starts tomorrow at 8 AM. The tent is now up and I’m homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 1 459

The new generation

By Anonymous - 06/06/2022 22:00

Today, I got stuck in a bathroom at work with my least favorite coworker. He ranted about Lady Gaga the entire 15 minutes the lock was broken. I’m third generation don’t give a fuck! FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 173

Get me out of here

By dang ol' anonymous, man - 01/05/2022 03:59

Today, I was stuck in a room for eight hours with several guys doing impressions of Boomhauer from King of the Hill. Talkin' 'bout that dang ol' FML. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 154

When the going gets tough…

By Anonymous - 22/04/2022 04:00

Today, I ordered in a kebab and decided to play Billy Ocean on full blast as I waited. The delivery driver reached the lobby, and as I run down, I left my keys behind. So here I am, eating a kebab, outside my house, whilst "Love Really Hurts Without You" plays on the other end of the door. The person with the keys comes in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 811

I'm not a celebrity, get me out of here

By Anonymous Unknown - 15/02/2022 02:00

Today, I got locked inside the entrance area of a Walmart. I had to get an employee to get me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 179

How did you get in there?

By sam - 02/01/2022 20:02 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I got stuck in the drier. My step-brother came to help out. His pullout game is weak. He literally could not pull me out of the drier and had to call a handyman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 1 333

It's a trap

By Dangling - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Lizella

Today, as I entered our narrow hallway while leaving the bathroom, my belt loop caught on the knob of a nearby closet. My husband had to come and rescue me as I hung there, my ass in the air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 078

You deserved it 1 816

Still a better love story than The Matrix

By Anonymous - 15/08/2021 20:01 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, my wife quit her job, not wanting to go back to in person at her office, to be a stay-at-home mom. Tomorrow, for my birthday, I was going to tell her that I'm not in love with her, have found an apartment, and signed a 2-year lease. I can't afford the apartment, mortgage, and the kids' tuition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 2 777

The wrong sort of lock in

By Anonymous - 10/08/2021 09:59 - South Africa

Today, I gave my 10-month-old the house keys to keep her busy. I locked the burglar gate and left the door open. She can walk, and she threw the keys outside the gate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 1 361

Let 'em in

By Muhd Hazrie - 05/08/2021 18:01

Today, my family decided that we should have our breakfast at a hawker centre, so I passed my house key to my sister as she carries a bag with her. After our meal, she said she was meeting her friend, so we went back home instead, only to realize that the door was locked and my sister had the key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 820

We don't need no education

By Anonymous - 07/07/2021 11:01

Today, I received a call from a top-rated university accepting me into the program of my dreams to begin my ultimate career. Two weeks ago, I accepted a permanent, full time and legally-binding job position in my depressive hometown because the school had previously rejected me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 151

You deserved it 141

Release the tapes!

By Anonymous - 01/07/2021 00:01

Today, for the second time in my life, I fell and got stuck between my wall and my bed wrapped in a blanket, mad. Instead of helping me, my brother just took videos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 339

Get me out of here

By Anonymous - 25/06/2021 23:02 - United States - Schertz

Today, I had a sleepover with two of my friends. We only had one bed, and it ended up with me against the wall. I then remembered that I'm very claustrophobic, and can't sleep. It's 4 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 269

Can't escape the QAnon Flavor Aid

By Can't move out - 25/06/2021 18:01

Today, I found out my parents truly believe that Donald Trump will return to power in August. They also believed it was going to happen in March. It's like living in a death cult. Help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 173

You deserved it 301

Stranded

By mmmmmm no - 24/06/2021 02:00

Today. I worked my 10-hour shift and drove over 3 hours to the hotel that I'd reserved a room at for 3 nights. The hotel required ID to get a room with a bank or credit card. I realized I'd lost my state ID, they wouldn't accept my work photo ID, they won't let me pay cash… No ID, no room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 170

Footloose

By Imnotfromhere - 16/06/2021 10:59

Today, my neighbor told me to stop pushing the elevator buttons and opening doors with my feet. I bitched him out, because he's been making a huge issue out of it for months. Right after, I realized I forgot my keys inside and he's the only person around who could let me back into the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 1 848

My body hates me

By Justin - 20/05/2021 22:01

Today, I pulled a muscle by doing absolutely nothing and now I can’t bend over without excruciating pain. I’m 15 and exercise regularly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 133

Enjoy yourself

By Anonymous - 17/05/2021 14:01

Today, I woke up after a 16-hour shift, and my back is out. I worked it in order to "enjoy" my 2 days off. I can barely move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 132

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The Top

Today, my family got mad at me and called me a "selfish" for not moving to the same state they’re in while I was visiting, so they could be closer to my kid. We were living in the same house as them until two years ago, in my current state, until they decided to move with only a month's notice for me to find a new place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 61

Today, I mistook a stranger in a supermarket aisle for an old friend and gave them a big bear hug from behind. Turns out, my "friend" was just now a very confused man in a very similar, but oddly specific jacket that I thought my actual friend had claimed he made himself. Guess not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 355

The Top

Today, my 8-year-old daughter came home from school, saying she had gotten engaged and was wearing a ring. It looked real. Later that night, I got a call saying that their son had given my daughter his grandma's engagement ring. My daughter actually said no to the engagement, but still took the ring, FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 577

You deserved it 183

Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 849

You deserved it 2 800

Today, my boyfriend came home from a camping trip and broke up with me. All because when he was watching the lake he was near, ripples formed. Apparently, this means God was telling him I'm impure and unable to be "saved by Christ" and therefore, a waste of his time. I dated this lunatic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 334

You deserved it 8 534

Today, I got a cross-country job promotion. I decided to plan my Going-Away-Forever party, and bought a pack of 100 invitations. After mailing them out to all my friends, I have 92 left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 86

Today, I'm crying in an Uber because my significant other just broke up with me. I'm crying quietly but there's no way the driver hasn't noticed at this point. I'm OK with him not saying anything, but he also hasn't changed the music. All that's playing is Pink, and not the loud, girl-power songs, but the sad, slow ones about love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 217

Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 351

You deserved it 6 723