Embarrassing, Poopoo peepee, Weddings, Awkward and Parents: Bad guest - FML

Bad guest

By Unknown - 23/12/2014 18:25 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I learned to never invite my father to a wedding. He'll show up late, complain about the food, piss on a tree, and leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 679

You deserved it 3 047

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Same thing different taste

By Googlebug - 01/11/2010 10:15 - United States

Today, my dad, who lives hours away, called and told me he was getting married. Today. As in this evening. Guess I'm not invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 197

You deserved it 2 542

Nice to see you

By JeezyCherieze - 11/04/2009 01:10 - United States

Today, my father, who I rarely see, drove 400 miles to my wedding. I was so happy to see him, until he got completely trashed at my reception, asked me where he could "score some weed" and told me what a bitch my mom was, and how I needed to lose weight. For over an hour. At my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 436

You deserved it 4 067

Highlight of the wedding

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 22:00

Today, despite his promise not to, my dad got completely shitfaced at my wedding reception. When we found him, he was passed out on the toilet with his pants down, penis out, and he’d shit all over himself, the toilet, and the floor. I thought I could trust him just this once, but now he’s dead to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 501

You deserved it 196

Meddling

By sotter42 - 20/07/2020 17:01

Today, my father-in-law decided he was going to just completely take over our engagement party, so now my fiancé just wants to go to Reno and get married there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 345

You deserved it 151

By Anonymous - 06/09/2014 22:19 - United States - Cottonwood

Today, my boyfriend canceled his plans to attend my father's wake, not even 10 minutes after he found out there won't be any alcohol on offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 998

You deserved it 4 133

Dodgy dad

By Anonymous - 23/02/2017 01:00 - United Kingdom - Colchester

Today, nobody wanted to come to my graduation after finding out that my father was coming too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 901

You deserved it 463

By derranged - 22/04/2009 18:24 - China

Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 219

You deserved it 73 486

Crafty

By Anonymous - 07/08/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 507

You deserved it 3 213

By Sam - 20/06/2010 13:18 - France

Today, I learned that in my family, 'Father's Day' is more like 'Father's drunken, piss on a plant in the kitchen during breakfast, order you to scrub in between his toes with your toothbrush Day.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 041

You deserved it 3 756

Free speech

By Anonymous - 21/07/2023 10:00

Today, my dad thought it would be appropriate to get drunk at my wedding and include in his father of the bride speech all the very bad things I did as a child, before I got the psychiatric help I needed. My in-laws were giving me death glares, and his nana yelled, “Shame on you!” at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 136

Next

Top comments

DrMario_ 16

Wednesday 24 December 2014 0:10

Is your father a dog? O.o

dman1997 5

Wednesday 24 December 2014 0:12

He certainly knows how to make an entrance... And exit.

Comments

americanafrican 32

Wednesday 24 December 2014 0:23

he did well if it was only one tree

Frenchtony 17

Wednesday 24 December 2014 0:28

Is it good for a tree when someone pees on it ? I've always wondered while doing so... Am I feeding it, or am I poisoning it ? Maybe both, but then does my action have an overall positive impact on the tree or is it the other way around ?

gladlily 16

Wednesday 24 December 2014 2:34

Apparently it's inadvertently bad for the tree. Deer are attracted to the salt in the urine and then will eat the bark off the tree to get it.

maxxwell8 13

Wednesday 24 December 2014 0:29

that would "piss" me off

maxxwell8 13

Wednesday 24 December 2014 8:36

Joking aside I hope you can work it out with your dad.

Enslaved 36

Wednesday 24 December 2014 0:56

"Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here!?"

False_Stupidity 41

Wednesday 24 December 2014 21:24

"Leave. It's make like a tree and leave. I hate it when you get that wrong"

MyDadLeftMeInKFC 21

Wednesday 24 December 2014 1:19

It sucks that some parents need to grow up more than their children. Sorry OP.

Airborn0280 18

Wednesday 24 December 2014 3:18

Well if you married the right man you will never have to experience that again. ?

Mangoesweg 13

Wednesday 24 December 2014 3:50

That's what my dog does.

tranced_ 45

Wednesday 24 December 2014 3:57

and the award for the coolest dad goes to. .

nreed32 20

Wednesday 24 December 2014 4:32

Go home dad, you're drunk.

SmittyJA24 26

Wednesday 24 December 2014 6:21

You say that like it's a bad thing!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Awkward Wanker Lonely Halloween Love Party Jealousy Family Argument Fight Animals Cats Parents Health Embarrassing Sports Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings Pranks TikTok YouTube Dogs Cute Work AITA

The Top

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 139

You deserved it 28 443

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 170

You deserved it 3 217

The Top

Today, I finally told my roommate, who doesn't pay rent, to go get a job. He left, came back, and immediately went to my refrigerator to eat. I asked him about his job and what his pay is. Apparently, putting together a bike for a kid is a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 284

You deserved it 2 877

Today, I posted a Facebook status about how I hoped to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. A couple of hours later, I saw a comment on it saying he'd never done anything bad enough to deserve that kind of torment. Thanks, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 440

You deserved it 9 116

Today, I went on the first date I've been on in years. While walking into the movie theatre, one of my shoes broke. Then I remembered that I needed to grab my mask. While walking back to the car, my other shoe broke. After the movie, I tripped on my broken shoes, and brought him down with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 195

Today, I found out that no one actually likes me as a friend. They only like me to get answers for school work. How did I find out? They were talking about it in front of me. Apparently I'm also invisible to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 332

You deserved it 3 736

Today, I found out that the gnat infestation in my dorm room was not caused by the recent cool weather, but rather the rotten pear I found under my roommates bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 778

You deserved it 2 566

Today, my sister had me kicked out of her wedding reception for, in the words of her new husband, "harshing the buzz." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 018

You deserved it 5 391