Sex and Intimacy: Blown job - FML

Blown job

By Noname - 12/03/2009 09:30 - New Zealand

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 955

You deserved it 339 270

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Same thing different taste

Beam me up!

By saynotochrispine - 28/07/2009 04:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that we could try living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 313

You deserved it 7 959

By May - 04/09/2011 04:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 814

You deserved it 6 263

By Anonymous - 01/10/2009 05:56 - Canada

Spicy

Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 500

You deserved it 44 097

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 600

You deserved it 6 222

By NOKHAN - 25/10/2013 17:17 - United States - Durham

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 112

You deserved it 7 252

By eeh - 07/05/2009 14:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 643

You deserved it 103 460

The Force

By RobinBunny713 - 19/07/2011 03:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I said it or the fact that he seemed more turned on by it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 802

You deserved it 34 377

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 611

You deserved it 1 192

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 222

You deserved it 404

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 127

You deserved it 23 508

Next

Top comments

rebboy_2008 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 16:06

I don't know what's worse: the fact that you called her Spock or the fact that Spock was on your mind while getting a bj. Either way, you lose.

millycent 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 16:06

Why are you watching anything other than **** while getting blown? Or anything at all? Fail.

Comments

damn_it110 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 7:30

wow u must be gay

Chyza 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 19:06

"Accidentally."

jimmyfounder 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 23:53

lol fail

bran_cantspell8 0

Saturday 7 August 2010 16:58

hahahahahahahahahaha

Euphoric_boner 0

Wednesday 18 August 2010 11:58

I completely agree. if she was doing you a favor and just wanted to do it while you were already watching tv. sure. but it would be nice to turn it off but it would also feel nice to watch tv and just feel good. haha but yes. as this person said. give her oral 10x but you should always give her oral.

Cjraven606 0

Friday 27 August 2010 1:20

that's funny as hell

the8888 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 16:44

kinky (;

RockoW 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 17:05

well, you had it coming

TheDude42 0

Monday 11 October 2010 0:44

FAIL

tdurden 0

Thursday 21 October 2010 9:28

wait..you have a girlfriend?

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Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 199

You deserved it 17 042

Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 4 693

The Top

Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 1 392

Today, I live abroad, but I was born in the USA so I'm sick of people asking me who I voted for in the last election, all while looking at me weirdly and suspiciously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 113

Today, I realized why my depression is so bad. No matter how hard I try, I have always been a replaceable presence in everyone's lives, and I have never felt like anyone couldn't live without me. Not even family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 121

Today, I went for a swim in the sea. It was early and I was the only one in the water. i swam out far, then my tummy rumbled big time. Next thing I knew, I'd shat my shorts. It went everywhere. I had to scoop the poop out with my hand and wash it off whilst swimming back to shore. I had to shower afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 214

Today, while giving a lecture on gender equality in the workplace, a woman yelled from the back, asking me why I'm not out starting a war somewhere. I stopped talking and tried to pinpoint her in the crowd, which she took as a sign to snort and call me a pussy. Nobody would back me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 218

You deserved it 2 763

Today, I decided to eat a whole tub of blueberries before seeing a guy I've been hooked up with for a year and a half. While giving a blow job, I ended throwing up the blueberries right before he came. He left immediately, deleted me on Snapchat and told me I need to get checked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 636

You deserved it 1 128