Sex and Awkward: Stuff

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 221

You deserved it 404

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Same thing different taste

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 611

You deserved it 1 192

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 127

You deserved it 23 507

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 599

You deserved it 6 221

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 673

You deserved it 9 512

The geyser

By Anonymous - 15/05/2020 23:00

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 981

You deserved it 407

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 160

You deserved it 5 568

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 406

You deserved it 759

By shmarf - 20/06/2015 06:00 - United States - Belton

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 863

You deserved it 19 644

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 20:12 - United States - Ellicott City

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 668

You deserved it 8 162

Feed me with your kiss

By Anonymous - 18/09/2021 08:00

Today, while having missionary sex, my girl was reaching a climax. She kept screaming a bunch of things like, “Yes!”, “Don’t stop!”, “Keep going.” Well, at least until a giant booger fell straight from my nose into her mouth. Then the only thing she was screaming was that I needed to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 911

You deserved it 797

Aphrodite 20

Saturday 25 May 2019 4:35

Um, how old is your gf?

manb91gb 15

Saturday 25 May 2019 4:38

I don't blame her... That's millions of potential children she's about to swallow and destroy.. Even Dr Strange couldn't handle that!

Comments

Aphrodite 20

Saturday 25 May 2019 4:35

Um, how old is your gf?

revidffum69 22

Saturday 25 May 2019 5:20

First thing I thought.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 25 May 2019 19:09

Worried me, too. Unless she was completely sheltered before they met, and he managed to get her to blow him, but forgot to mention the happy ending.

manb91gb 15

Saturday 25 May 2019 4:38

I don't blame her... That's millions of potential children she's about to swallow and destroy.. Even Dr Strange couldn't handle that!

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 25 May 2019 5:26

If she’s not, you’re not doing it right!

Sinshine 28

Saturday 25 May 2019 6:49

Why are you getting ******** from 8-years-olds?

Bubbilility 27

Saturday 25 May 2019 15:51

... how old are you? How old is she? Was she a virgin? Or was it more she doesn't like the taste, or she's afraid of getting it in her hair/eyes?

Mooglefox 23

Saturday 25 May 2019 15:52

What was she thinking was gonna come out?

Iamthebanzai22 21

Saturday 25 May 2019 17:39

Son, If you have to make airplane noises to get it in she is TOO YOUNG.

Chen Zhibang 8

Sunday 26 May 2019 3:42

This is brilliant.

Bevis Butthead 4

Thursday 29 August 2019 17:26

Is she like 9 years old or Amish?

randybryant799 20

Tuesday 15 February 2022 5:35

Good god. How old is she??

Keywords

Miscellaneous Shopping Health Medication Animals Anger issues Birds Embarrassing Weddings Pranks TikTok YouTube Dogs Cute AITA Work Parents Awkward Sex Intimacy Frustration Mental health Technology Annoying Relatable Poopoo peepee Transportation Love Lonely Am I overreacting?

The Top

Today, I was laying in my bed and discovered a couple of stray black hairs scattered about. This was odd considering I have light strawberry blonde hair but I forgot about it only to later see my hair brush have more of the same black hairs. I live alone. I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 686

You deserved it 823

Today, I found all of my underwear frozen in my freezer. I put my underwear in the washer before I left for work. I then put them in the dryer. I woke up and tried to put them on several times thinking I was missing the pant holes. I finally turned on the lights to see that each leg hole was sewn shut, all of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 92

The Top

Today, I had to do an assignment about my greatest achievement and about an award I've received. I don't have either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 039

You deserved it 249

Today, during sex, I was getting close to climax, which is unusual for me due to personal issues. However, I got a piercing headache and had to stop. I later found out my birth control can cause sex headaches and the best way to avoid them is to avoid orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 527

You deserved it 190

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to shrimp, when I went out for a lunch with my long-term crush after I finally got the courage to ask her out. She's really into seafood. A little while into the afternoon I started to feel itchy. She ended up scratching my back all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 668

You deserved it 130

Today, my 3 year old daughter's Halloween costume finally got delivered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 001

You deserved it 2 104

Today, in my first month at the gym, I was running on the treadmill when my washcloth fell to the floor. Without thinking much, I bent down to get it, lost my balance and took the biggest fall. I no longer have the courage to go there, and I already paid a biannual package. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 478

You deserved it 1 422

Today, due to technical problems, I had to call the company's IT-support as my computer went totally haywire. I explained via phone that I couldn't access anything. The support then tried contacting me by e-mail and got upset with me when I didn't answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 081

You deserved it 2 399