Health: Candy Andy - FML

Candy Andy

By bad karma - 21/11/2011 14:34 - United States

Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 634

You deserved it 46 239

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Fatass - 18/04/2014 05:37 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 705

You deserved it 13 879

By BrokeAndHungry - 24/07/2016 17:05 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 141

You deserved it 4 339

By Timmy - 26/01/2009 13:28 - France

Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 484

You deserved it 59 475

By love you too mommy - 27/01/2014 19:26 - United States - Brentwood

Today, my mom walked into my room to talk to me. I was surprised because we don't talk much. I was left with a smile on my face after she left, until I realized she'd stolen all the candy on my desk while I wasn't looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 475

You deserved it 5 290

What ARE you doing?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, I was so tired at the pet store I was working at that I accidentally offered a kid a dog treat instead of their dog. He ate it. While his mom watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 365

You deserved it 1 528

By dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 432

You deserved it 43 477

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 14/12/2022 18:00

Today, I was pretending to be a mom with my friends, and I was joking how I bought them candy and that it cost me an arm and a leg, only to realize that the cashier only had one arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 816

The sleepwalkers are at it again!

By sierra - 11/03/2021 02:02

Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 325

By ilovekids? - 12/12/2015 02:05 - United States - Commack

Today, while I was working at a supermarket, a kid started to cry in line because he couldn't get candy. Since we have free lollipops behind the desk, I gave him one. His mom complained to my manager and said I was grooming her child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 116

You deserved it 6 009

By nocat6 - 15/09/2014 03:07 - United States - Northville

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 161

You deserved it 3 066

Next

Top comments

TipOfTheHat 10

Monday 21 November 2011 18:50

It's an expression! Your not actually supposed to do that!

xxcreativedreame 5

Monday 21 November 2011 18:51

Wow. It takes a REAL loser to do that. Seriously.

Comments

kubleeka 0

Friday 25 November 2011 4:28

Are f*cking homeless? Jackass...

jdev 0

Friday 25 November 2011 6:01

What the he'll is wrong with you

MisfitBitch23 3

Friday 25 November 2011 9:59

sense when do baby's even eat candy?!

MonseRobles 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 5:20

your a loser.

cmabmb112210 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 9:48

Ever heard of foodstamps?

bbgirl011 10

Sunday 27 November 2011 0:18

Well - I kinda half give you props. Anyone who mocks that stealing from a baby - especially food - is ovbiously wrong; has never tried ( cause you can't pull anything past those critters when it comes to food ).

Krazygye 0

Sunday 27 November 2011 3:24

wow wtf is wrong with. may as well go kick a puppy an drown a kitten. @$$hole

CaineghisMord 2

Tuesday 29 November 2011 7:41

Moral event horizen CROSSED!!

fuck_my_l1f3 1

Thursday 16 February 2012 9:10

**** u man

betteryouthanmee 3

Sunday 17 June 2012 6:48

Who the hell gives candy to a baby??

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Keywords

Parenting Miscellaneous Shopping AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Jealousy Love Kids Pranks Friends Dogs Housework Relatable Work Awkward Embarrassing Transportation Cars Sports Health Accident Mental health Annoying Family Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist

The Top

Today, the guy I'd been talking to online and liked came to my house party with a bunch of mutual friends. He spent the night sitting in the corner on the sofa talking to my cat. I woke up later to see that not only had he crashed for the night, but he'd curled up in the dog basket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 685

You deserved it 9 289

Today, after about a year of keeping it a secret from my girlfriend, I told her about my foot fetish. She said "EWWWWWWWW!" and left. She's ignoring my calls and has changed her relationship status to single on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 569

You deserved it 6 603

The Top

Today, I got fired on day 89 of a 90-day trial. The partners in the law firm gave conflicting instructions and held me to account, so I got fired because they can't work together. My wife is 25 weeks pregnant, we have a 4-year-old, and I'm deep in overdraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 130

You deserved it 356

Today, at a party, I watched the guy I've liked for AGES come out of a bedroom with one of my gay male friends. They were in there for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 374

You deserved it 3 196

Today, I couldn't convince my grandmother that no matter how much she called AT&T, they will not come and fix her dead computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 676

You deserved it 141

Today, I biked to the store to buy a new lock, since biking is my only form of transportation. I left my bike unattended for the last time, only to come back with a new chain, but no bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 655

You deserved it 3 458

Today, I was awoken by my neighbor pounding on my back door at 3 am, only to look outside and see my car engulfed in flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 089

You deserved it 3 069

Today, I received a tip in Monopoly money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 854

You deserved it 147