Intimacy, Sex and Gross: Cheesy delight

Cheesy delight

By blew it - 05/06/2019 02:00

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend, only while I was down there I noticed he had an ungodly amount of dick cheese under his foreskin. He’s now mad at me for blueballing him, even though he’s clearly the one at fault for being a filthy pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 392

You deserved it 398

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Same thing different taste

Fromage

By Anonymous - 20/11/2023 14:00

Today, I spent a good 30 seconds licking my husbands' penis all over before I drew back his foreskin to really start going to town on it, only to discover that under the head was covered in his stinking knob cheese. I threw up three times. He’s an adult man and can’t wash himself properly. Pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 222

The taste test

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 07:59

Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me when I went to give him a blowjob after he got home and his knob tasted different. It was the other woman’s fanny juice still on him because he hadn’t had a shower yet. So f…ing angry and grossed out right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 946

You deserved it 212

By InvAzn - 14/12/2017 06:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 588

You deserved it 2 366

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 17:32 - United States

Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 761

You deserved it 62 035

Smug knob

By Anonymous - 03/02/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend got his results from the doctor: the weeping sore under his foreskin isn’t an STD like I accused him of, it’s merely a bacterial skin infection from not washing his penis. He’s acting all smug, like not cheating on me somehow makes up for being a bacteria-ridden petri dish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 368

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 770

You deserved it 13 692

Everybody want to drool the world

By slapstick1982 - 10/09/2021 08:01

Today, I was having sex with my wife, doggy-style. She then got mad at me for coming on her back. I didn’t have the balls to tell her that was drool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 1 201

By kinkicali - 20/11/2012 08:43 - United States - Maple Valley

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 497

You deserved it 36 511

Observation

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 752

You deserved it 8 003

By -_____- - 31/07/2013 21:23 - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I accidentally farted. He freaked out and asked in all seriousness if I was trying to give his dick pink-eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 074

You deserved it 8 068

mr_dinzaster 16

Wednesday 5 June 2019 2:17

That literally almost made me throw up that’s so grosss

GamerChickxoxo 16

Wednesday 5 June 2019 2:10

Gross and why i prefer to do that kind of thing in the shower so i can atleast see that its been washed before it goes in my mouth :P

Comments

donb23 23

Wednesday 5 June 2019 13:10

Agree with you OP. As a guy it is OUR responsibility to keep ourselves clean if we are going out with anyone.

Matthew Kay 4

Wednesday 5 June 2019 13:21

Was eating a cheese sandwich whilst reading this FML

nykkiyo16 13

Wednesday 5 June 2019 13:22

I'm confused as to why anyone would say you deserved this.

cosmic 9

Wednesday 5 June 2019 21:15

There is a guy saying similar thing on r/tifu. either he is her bf or there are many men who doesn't wash their dicks

WeirdUS 29

Thursday 6 June 2019 4:16

That's disgusting and the fact it doesn't bother him is a bigger problem.

Silver Kitsune 5

Friday 7 June 2019 9:18

That is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever read!! Maybe the poor little baby should wash up every once in a while

Sahil Parikh 3

Saturday 8 June 2019 10:28

Sounds like he has an STD

Casstrodamus 4

Monday 10 June 2019 2:20

My fiance is uncircumcised, and he has somehow managed to go his entire life without having dick cheese. People circumcise their sons because they think it's cleaner, but if you don't teach your kid how to wash his junk, it'll have it either way.