Miscellaneous: College life

College life

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 11:33 - Germany

Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 989

You deserved it 2 363

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Same thing different taste

By theRoomie - 02/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 820

You deserved it 2 839

By pukeytimes - 10/04/2015 23:03 - Australia - Leichhardt

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 841

You deserved it 2 260

Living the dream

By notyourcleaner - 13/01/2015 11:06 - Malaysia - Puchong

Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 152

You deserved it 2 693

By gold3nshow3r - 09/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 574

You deserved it 436

Hangover time

By Anonymous - 16/12/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 336

You deserved it 30 376

Roommate from hell

By Anonymous - 13/10/2020 10:57 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, after I had the place to myself for a while and it was easy to clean, my roommate returned and I woke up to trash piling up, dishes everywhere, and luggage full of sweaty laundry. Oh, and it smells like poo again, because he doesn't regularly shower. I want to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 167

Gross, dudes!

By notsick - 17/03/2019 22:00

Today, my roommate invited her brother over to drink. Neither can handle their drink and her brother is a sympathy spewer. He’s not my guest but I had to clean up vomit until 4 in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 132

You deserved it 214

By Anonymousse - 13/11/2015 12:34 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 780

You deserved it 1 559

Partaaaaay!

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 18:16 - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 128

You deserved it 46 983

By hnickell93 - 09/10/2012 01:55 - United States - Visalia

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 743

You deserved it 5 406

skyeyez9 24

Sunday 1 November 2009 16:15

Press the robe over his face and smother him! Autopsy will reveal he drowned in his vomit (hopefully).

tko 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 16:22

and that is why i dont drink

Comments

sammisolstice 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 17:03

Projectiiiile vomiting.

Howdyplz 2

Sunday 1 November 2009 17:14

I'm so sorry. That's all there really is to say. Puke is about the grossest thing ever, and I can't say anything that would possibly make it better..... And about the shower robe thing: I don't think it's creepy at all, I know plenty of grown men with shower robes. They're not the pink poufy kind that comes to mind at the mention of shower robe, they're more manly and plaid, or just green or red or something. They're nice when you get out of the shower so you can clean up and do your hair before putting your clean clothes on. Plus they're warm.

iTsBrandon 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 18:13

25-Life if your not tricky...Think about it ;)

Catie7695 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 18:23

That is the most disgusting thing ever - I would probably pass out if I found myself in that situation. And I can honestly say you've just convinced me never to bunk with a roommate who has a tendency to drink a lot.

arielhoee 9

Sunday 1 November 2009 20:54

You shower in a robe? Interesting... Maybe he was trying to give the room some color? [:

rockmyworld 0

Monday 2 November 2009 2:39

and the lived-in smell..

dana212121 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 21:36

http://vampirefreaks.com/?r=3543133

begeru 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 22:54

Wow FYL, but YDI for having a shower robe.

pawpaw_fml 0

Monday 2 November 2009 0:07

Hahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!1 Been there, done that. But I contained my projectile vomit inside a clothes hamper filled with my buddies dirty clothes. It was awesome, until he punched me for doing it.....****.

Penetration 0

Monday 2 November 2009 4:15

Roommate: Hey, I have an apology gift for last night. You: Oh really? What? Roommate vomits all over you. FYL. xD

Ninjaface 0

Monday 2 November 2009 8:08

So YOU were out until three in the morning and HE got drunk? That's a neat trick. You should sleep with random girls in you dorm until your roommate gets an STD, that'll teach him.