Friends, Roommate and Awkward: Cuddle time

Cuddle time

By Anonymous - 12/12/2013 08:51 - Australia - Donvale

Today, my roommate, who happens to be a writer, got so pissed off at his editor that he got drunk, wrapped his arms around my waist, and only stopped when I agreed to spoon him. This is not the first time this has happened either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 765

You deserved it 5 761

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Same thing different taste

By theRoomie - 02/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 820

You deserved it 2 839

Painful

By stupid drunk bitch - 24/02/2016 18:37 - United States - Cobleskill

Today, my roommate made out with this guy I kind of had a thing for. It wasn't a big deal to sober me, but drunk me wasn't having it. I drank half a bottle of vodka, punched a hole in a wall, and cried while laying on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 536

You deserved it 5 504

By Anonymousse - 13/11/2015 12:34 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 781

You deserved it 1 560

By Anonymous - 10/05/2014 13:00 - United States

Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 987

You deserved it 3 774

Waste moment

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 20:00

Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We decided then to come home and planned an intimate moment. I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I fell asleep right before we started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 1 349

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 928

You deserved it 6 528

By Vince - 09/12/2011 19:38 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 068

You deserved it 3 238

By Dirty_Mind_69 - 20/07/2013 08:35 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 220

You deserved it 9 936

By burritobreasts - 15/10/2014 06:27

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 148

You deserved it 5 319

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, my roommate hooked up with a guy she met at a party. After telling me about it, she says to me, "Maybe next time we go out we'll hit someone over the head and drag him back here for you." Apparently the only way I can get a guy is if he's unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 938

You deserved it 5 248

Xiktyr 5

Thursday 12 December 2013 15:57

Uhh.. switch rooms, man.

jayray313 21

Thursday 12 December 2013 16:00

Sounds like your roommate has a crush on you. He only acts on it when the alcohol lowers his inhibitions.

Comments

pizzzah 9

Thursday 12 December 2013 21:20

and thats why he dropped out of college and changed his book to 'A Brief History as Ass'

Bunny260 0

Thursday 12 December 2013 22:03

MELLO?!?! IS THAT YOUUU?

rdenkewicz 11

Thursday 12 December 2013 22:16

Dude, sleep face up!

staroftexas9 3

Thursday 12 December 2013 22:31

Had you put a stop to it the first time there wouldn't be a second time. YDI

limabeans101029 20

Thursday 12 December 2013 23:59

It's not always that easy to just "put a stop to it". That's like saying to a rape victim "If you'd put a stop to it, it wouldn't have happened". (Obviously that's on a much bigger scale but you get my point).

Zebediabolical 39

Friday 13 December 2013 23:59

I think its more like telling a rape victim 'you should have called the police the first time then he probably wouldn't have done it the second time.'

LegendaryMant 4

Thursday 12 December 2013 22:33

You guys may be looking at this situation all wrong... Often there is a fine line between genius and insanity. Since what the roommate did sounds batshit crazy - he could possibly be an incredible writer. If he goes down in history then op gets to share a strange little piece of that history. ...That or he is actually batshit crazy.