Work: Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing...

By Dirty_Mind_69 - 20/07/2013 08:35 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 220

You deserved it 9 936

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/08/2009 11:49 - United States

Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 877

You deserved it 64 820

Set the scene

By NJ. - 24/01/2009 10:41 - United States

Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 235

You deserved it 2 449

By Anonymous - 28/08/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 1 892

By sleepytime - 05/10/2009 16:36 - United States

Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 689

You deserved it 32 915

By 123roomielover - 26/01/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 565

You deserved it 3 740

By anthony512 - 24/05/2013 16:08 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 033

You deserved it 12 765

By Anonymous - 15/12/2015 18:10 - Germany - Munich

Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 982

You deserved it 2 601

By paulinapo - 30/05/2013 01:53 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 338

You deserved it 9 836

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 480

You deserved it 554

By adam - 03/02/2010 20:10 - France

Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 085

You deserved it 40 678

oicu812xD 16

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:25

At least they didn't ruin the dream by waking you up

JoeGrant 12

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:24

It's an omen, and I'm sure your co-workers will laugh and so will you. Don't worry so much!

Comments

JoeGrant 12

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:24

It's an omen, and I'm sure your co-workers will laugh and so will you. Don't worry so much!

LeFrogDog 27

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:44

sounds like a wet dream

jessBeAqueen 13

Saturday 20 July 2013 17:16

no sounds like a great opportunity for a worldstar video!

NakedandScared 8

Saturday 20 July 2013 17:31

Well you don't seem very nice.

Crometer 23

Saturday 20 July 2013 19:13

That's what I was thinking, unless he works with a bunch of rude people.

oicu812xD 16

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:25

At least they didn't ruin the dream by waking you up

cottoncandymango 17

Saturday 20 July 2013 19:23

Sleeping on the job, eh?

retyi43 14

Saturday 20 July 2013 22:57

sleeping AND wet-dreaming on the job...

salazara 10

Sunday 21 July 2013 2:00

You're Fired

deepunder 17

Tuesday 23 July 2013 6:52

U know what to do. Go back to sleep

anon80214 15

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:26

You won't be living that one down anytime soon. FYL

Uramonkey 11

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:26

Maybe you should put your mind and your sleep elsewhere when you are at work...

SomeRandomGuy15 18

Saturday 20 July 2013 22:02

Where would you put 'sleep'?

arsenicalhumor 30

Sunday 21 July 2013 0:11

I put it in the fridge to keep it nice and cool.

lbrown66 12

Sunday 21 July 2013 2:15

Who puts sleep in the fridge? It goes hard, you need to keep it in the cupboard!

clemsi 20

Sunday 21 July 2013 8:48

to hell with both of those suggestions....I put mine in the freezer so I can save it to pass the winner months quickly

Kelsey_709 9

Monday 22 July 2013 2:03

He said "break room", so OP was probably just napping on his break. Doesn't mean he was slacking.

peterubino 2

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:26

Was ur **** outta ur pants

Uramonkey 11

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:29

Lets just hope he didn't have a wet dream and woke up with sticky pants. His coworkers wouldn't let him live that one down for sure ;)

darwinism 30

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:41

Sounds like yours was during English class # 5

Uramonkey 11

Saturday 20 July 2013 18:34

Seems like wet dreams are too taboo for FML with all these comments being thumbed down. It's ok girls, they are only natural ;)

ygdrassil 17

Saturday 20 July 2013 20:12

Nothing is too taboo for FML.

BlueFlatts 20

Saturday 20 July 2013 22:22

Taboo list: •Bad English •Bad jokes •Bad puns •Pointless comments. Correct?

drewflav 17

Sunday 21 July 2013 6:05

49 - you're missing one more on your list. Thumbing down DocBastard.

iAlissa 34

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:27

Dreams make reality suck.

deepunder 17

Tuesday 23 July 2013 6:54

Like the one where I was driving a car during an apocalypse. Loved the dream since I was driving a car before I got a permit.

GAeroNKissR 26

Monday 30 November 2015 3:07

not if you make your dreams reality...

HortonThelephant 15

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:27

Hopefully your pillow talk was at least good enough to pique the attention of a lady coworker or two ;)

HortonThelephant 15

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:30

Strike my previous comment if you'd please. I can just envision it going something like: "Hey there girl. I brought the spicy chorizo to kick up your night" or something equally terrible...