Sex, Ironic and Love: Dingus - FML

Dingus

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia

Spicy

Today, after my second date with an otherwise charming guy, he called me a whore for turning him down for sex. Yeah, I'm trying to work out the logic of that too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 517

You deserved it 1 957

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Top comments

exergency 17

Saturday 26 September 2015 23:55

You are better than that!

9a_1z 12

Sunday 27 September 2015 0:02

Douchebag logic is simple - if you're using your ****** to do anything else than pleasure said douchebag's penis, you're a *****. Which makes a whole bunch of women ******, welcome to the whored.

Comments

Ninjerman 7

Wednesday 30 September 2015 5:23

He clearly doesn't deserve it anyway! Good job for keeping mistakes like him from happening again!

Terminator78 6

Tuesday 6 October 2015 20:15

Maybe cause he thought you wanted money instead of doing it for free.........

ebolson1019 12

Tuesday 17 November 2015 5:04

?

rebelwithmouseyhair 18

Saturday 22 July 2023 15:43

Anyone who calls me a *****, I say, well no, you got that wrong, because no sum of money is enough to make me want to sleep with you. It kind of stops them in their tracks because they have to think a bit to see whether I'm insulting them or not. I wish guys could think up a few more interesting insults, it's really boring being called a ***** or a ****.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 28 830

You deserved it 2 598

Today, I was walking downtown. I'm 57 years old, and I'm pretty well along in terms of hair loss. On top of that, I recently hurt my left leg and am walking with a crutch. I passed two teenagers, who were looking at me, and I overheard, "Yeah, I agree. I'm much more scared of aging than death." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 913

You deserved it 2 818

The Top

Today, my house was set on fire, courtesy of my ex-girlfriend, who found out that I have a new girlfriend. Most of our belongings are now reduced to ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 98

Today, I woke up late and grabbed what I thought was a granola bar on my way out. It wasn’t until I was halfway through eating it that I realized it was a dog treat. I had the godawful taste in my mouth all throughout the day, despite several cans of Pepsi and Mountain Dew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 496

Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for the first time. I guess I made the steak too rare, because when my dad cut into it, he said "Christ! This thing's practically alive!" and said a skilled vet could probably bring the cow it was cut from back to life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 127

You deserved it 3 909

Today, my boyfriend bought me Kings of Leon tickets for my birthday. Since he thought I was irresponsible, he gave the tickets to his mum so I wouldn't lose them. The show is today, and we can't find the tickets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 002

You deserved it 4 201

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I agree, your life sucks 13 349

You deserved it 1 672

Today, after I'd been on and off with this girl for 6 years, I finally proposed in October 2018 and she'd said yes. A year later we got a house. By March, she is seeing another girl. And now, we still live together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 666

You deserved it 449