Intimacy: Dirty mind

Dirty mind

By Anonymous - 11/12/2015 20:24 - United States - Porter

Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 613

You deserved it 4 706

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Same thing different taste

By Anonycock - 06/01/2016 17:15 - Qatar - Doha

Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 832

You deserved it 3 908

Stimulating

By Wow - 13/03/2012 04:38 - United States

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 591

You deserved it 8 897

By MrAries - 02/03/2016 11:45 - United States

Today, I'm so sleep-deprived, I got a boner from just thinking about falling asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 765

You deserved it 2 332

Quick as rainbows

By bonehead69 - 31/05/2015 07:06 - United States - Taylorville

Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 689

You deserved it 5 399

"I'm horny, horny horny horny"

By Anonymous - 29/09/2020 23:01

Today, I got incredibly horny at work. No one was in the office, so I spread out on my yoga mat and started to masturbate. All of the sudden, I heard a forklift outside. I quickly tried to hide, but I think the construction worker caught me. He’ll be working here all month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 3 105

By MissCan'tKeepAJob - 23/08/2011 16:18 - United States

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 126

You deserved it 57 581

Lust for life

By Anonymous - 17/02/2023 16:00

Today, thanks to a very intense sexual dream, I suddenly have a strong (and lustful) crush on a coworker, making me gasp every time I see them. I'm happily married. And pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 957

You deserved it 345

By CapNCook - 24/07/2013 09:15 - United States - Chicago

Today, a co-worker verbally abused me because I yawned. His excuse was that, "It's contagious". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 136

You deserved it 4 395

By anon - 15/09/2012 05:35 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 433

You deserved it 2 728

When work husbands go too far

By Ashamed - 08/09/2023 04:00

Today, I accidentally called out the coworker I have a crush on’s name in bed instead of my wife’s. The thing is, thinking about her is the only thing that will keep me hard and brought to orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 1 410

hellnosucka 27

Saturday 12 December 2015 8:08

to be fair though, Ops coworker is an incredibly sexy yawner.

The_Ikon211 11

Saturday 12 December 2015 8:25

palmala handerson always helps take the edge off.

Comments

Dune1988 18

Saturday 12 December 2015 16:51

Thats a fabulous imagination right there op. Im almost to the same point myself.

Captain_Debilos_fml 13

Saturday 12 December 2015 17:44

time to use your hand

GAeroNKissR 26

Saturday 12 December 2015 18:54

Maybe he's used to women yawning during sex...in which case, F both YL

TMWhisp 22

Saturday 12 December 2015 20:19

*Michael Kelso voice* BURN!!

pandaxpress 19

Saturday 12 December 2015 19:02

If I were a sexually deprived guy, I would do the same. If it fits, it sits!

vikky538 28

Saturday 12 December 2015 20:14

Don't watch a lot of ****.

jumpshot32 11

Saturday 12 December 2015 20:23

If you're quick enough, surprise ********.

TMWhisp 22

Sunday 13 December 2015 5:41

No.

az2015 9

Saturday 12 December 2015 23:23

aw so sad for you.. I'm a girl and it been for ever for me.

xTommytheGUNx 15

Sunday 13 December 2015 8:15

prepare yourself...the teenage boys are coming

kenwolfy 14

Sunday 13 December 2015 19:42

Nice

mitoito68 6

Monday 14 December 2015 21:25

you are stupid as hell. how come they put this shit here???

fml510605 16

Tuesday 15 December 2015 21:56

You got a boner cause you imagined your **** in her mouth and instead of yawning shes actually gaging

Keywords

My ex Awkward Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Relatable Work Money DIY Kids Parenting Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said, "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him every day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 531

You deserved it 32 700

Today, I learned that I actually like my boiled eggs a bit softer than I usually make them. I also learned that an outwardly lukewarm egg, when bitten into enthusiastically, is perfectly capable of creating a volcanic eruption of boiling hot yolk all over your hands, clothes and kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 413

The Top

Today, my cat decided to hide in the garbage can so he could get a free trip outside, but was too fat to climb all of the way inside of it. He got stuck half-way in. It took me ten minutes to get him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 778

You deserved it 6 228

Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 816

You deserved it 1 900

Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 924

You deserved it 39 999

Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 069

You deserved it 7 297

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 617

You deserved it 3 994

Today, my daughter, who is going through a vegan phase, pulled the plug for our garage chest freezer, where we store our meat. That's $1200 of meat, rotten. My husband is so mad that he's been at the gym for six hours straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 160