Intimacy: Don't listen to Cosmo

Don't listen to Cosmo

By FMBs - 30/04/2014 23:40 - Puerto Rico - Guaynabo

Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 742

You deserved it 7 199

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By sexisdead - 31/07/2016 17:16

Today, my wife discovered Cosmopolitan magazine, and now only wants to have sex if I agree to try some of their sex tips. I fear for my genitals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 003

You deserved it 1 877

By JC - 26/03/2012 20:56 - United States - Villa Ridge

Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 908

You deserved it 6 144

By inpain - 20/11/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 291

You deserved it 40 629

By Anonymous - 28/07/2015 00:08 - United States

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 237

You deserved it 2 962

By littlefinger - 11/03/2014 16:11 - United States - Foley

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 673

You deserved it 6 998

By Anonymous - 06/08/2011 21:34 - United States

Today, in one fell swoop, my testicles and spirits were simultaneously crushed into submission by the girl I like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 111

You deserved it 4 885

Too much feeling!

By buckerooo - 03/12/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky when we decide to try the old 69. One thing leads to another when her clit ring went deep into my nose, and leaving me feeling like the wrong kind of bull. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 936

You deserved it 513

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 19:44 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 833

You deserved it 6 345

By Anonymous - 28/02/2014 21:10 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 849

You deserved it 16 533

By Anonymous - 10/03/2015 23:15 - United States - Angleton

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 632

You deserved it 57 720

michaelaranda 28

Thursday 1 May 2014 5:21

Tell your girlfriend to stop reading cosmo. Sorry about your balls.

TaiReiSi 12

Thursday 1 May 2014 5:22

I'm really trying not to think of what she did...

Comments

WhatsYOURname6 25

Thursday 1 May 2014 11:48

Anyone else dying to know what the hell she did?!

buckdharma 36

Thursday 1 May 2014 12:09

Get the current issue of Popular Mechanics and rebuild them. :)

Kergami 18

Thursday 1 May 2014 12:18

Anyone else think this needs a HUGE follow-up?

thomcmoore 23

Thursday 1 May 2014 12:35

I'd settle for a normal sized follow up.

mosquito19 14

Thursday 1 May 2014 13:34

what? you don't like getting your balls slapped?

FrankHotpants 31

Thursday 1 May 2014 13:35

You ever think maybe these magazines purposely give bad advice to ensure women stay single and continue to buy their magazines.

anyoldnamewilldo 23

Thursday 1 May 2014 14:07

Love the apt name you used. Wish there was a button for that on this one. Anyway, hope they feel better soon. If not, a visit to the Dr. would be a good idea.