Work: Emergency

Emergency

By BigMouth McRedface - 14/05/2010 02:11 - United States

Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 823

You deserved it 33 960

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Same thing different taste

By number2 - 18/10/2011 01:14 - United States

Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 433

You deserved it 4 032

By Lukey1028 - 14/07/2015 01:07 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 342

You deserved it 3 459

That's not my name

By Not Jennifer - 30/09/2024 09:00 - Canada

Today, while I was using the bathroom at work, I heard someone come into the stall next to mine and start talking. Thinking they were on the phone, I stayed quiet… but then they said, “I know it’s you, Jennifer.” My name isn't Jennifer. I had to sit there in silence until they left, pretending to be someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 191

By yolo is for shitheads - 09/10/2012 16:07 - United States

Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 440

You deserved it 2 168

By birdisnottheword - 11/03/2015 13:55 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 936

You deserved it 8 895

By Username - 18/02/2011 09:33

Today, at work, my phone rang. My intern answered it and told me it was a coworker who'd just left. I picked up and said "What's up bitch? What are you going to complain about now?!" It was actually my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 019

You deserved it 44 930

By badwife - 07/11/2009 10:22 - Japan

Today, my husband left his phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being very curious, I called "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 390

You deserved it 17 366

By ShitHappens - 24/10/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 566

You deserved it 44 721

We heard you

By PeePee - 03/07/2009 19:19 - United States

Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 024

You deserved it 13 406

Thanks dad…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 645

You deserved it 2 608

FYLDeep 25

Friday 14 May 2010 9:24

Did your employee call you out on your bullshit excuse under the grounds that women don't poop?

YouGotTold 0

Friday 14 May 2010 9:24

ydi for having another guys name in in your phone and not having something to differentiate between the two... dc

Comments

jgilez 0

Friday 14 May 2010 12:45

agreed

britterss 0

Friday 14 May 2010 12:45

she probably thought her husband was calling her to tell her about the massive shit he took at work and she wanted to beat him to the punch....too bad it wasn't her husband on the phone

aardvarkish 16

Friday 14 May 2010 12:55

If I were married, the wife's ID would be "Uh-Oh!"

RokstaRx88 0

Friday 14 May 2010 14:41

better yet the death of man cuz that's what marriage is. a time when the man starts to die and the woman starts to blossom. women are blood sucking vampires and marriage is just a trap to catch prey. yea the gay sparkly kind from twillight

theanonimouse 0

Friday 14 May 2010 22:49

Yeah, you better watch out... I might getcha! I vant to suck your blooood!

snickerpuss 9

Friday 14 May 2010 12:55

Yeah, it's very important to feel comfortable in your relationship but come on... "I really have to poop !" "Ok, i'm getting the roll of toilet paper ready for you !"