Drunk, Awkward, Fight and Parents: Fight club

Fight club

By just outdone - 31/12/2015 04:45 - United States - Turtle Lake

Today, I've been staying with my parents while I have time off from school. They got drunk and started an entire family fight because my dad made pizza and my mom is lactose intolerant. She insists my dad did it on purpose because, "he's an asshole and knows I can't eat cheese." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 810

You deserved it 1 386

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By oppafucktardstyle - 14/10/2012 20:36 - United States - Waterloo

Today, I had to pick my parents up from the hospital and drive them back home, after they were treated for eating large amounts of cheese that my dad claimed to have "aged" for several years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 489

You deserved it 1 626

Anger management

By FML - 08/12/2013 18:00 - Puerto Rico - Cayey

Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 661

You deserved it 3 397

By Todd - 14/08/2012 16:14 - United States

Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 814

You deserved it 1 976

By Anonymous - 14/05/2015 02:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 259

You deserved it 36 941

By mia - 29/12/2016 22:35 - United States - Wakefield

Today, I told my mom that I think I'm lactose intolerant, and that I should go to the doctor to get checked out. She said that I was probably just gassy, and then ordered us a pizza for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 571

You deserved it 921

Fun for all the family

By Anonymous - 14/04/2021 02:00

Today, my mom and dad got into a fight, during which my dad said to my mom that her health conditions were of her own doing. Because of that, I got pissed and had a fight with my dad, taking my mom's side. Turns out, my mom took his side and ratted me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 282

All over cheese?

By Anonymous - 29/03/2022 01:00 - Bulgaria - Sofia

Today, my family had an argument with me because I bought the wrong kind of cheese. They never said what kind they wanted. The argument ended with my mother saying that she wished she could kill herself, because of how horrible of a person I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 106

By sonofaneuroticwench - 20/08/2014 20:08 - United States - Rice Lake

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 669

You deserved it 3 392

By Yoooooo0 - 29/11/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 073

You deserved it 3 724

Piss off

By Anonymous - 25/05/2023 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my horrible parents turned up to the restaurant I work at just to mess with me. Dad forgot his wallet, what a surprise, and asked me to pay the bill. I refused so my manager got involved. My dad got arrested, I got fired and might lose my lousy flat if I’m late on the rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 1 115

CharismaGeek 19

Thursday 31 December 2015 9:13

Well, that's what drinking does to you. Do your best to settle the argument before things get too crazy, OP

ShadowStarEXE 35

Thursday 31 December 2015 9:15

Run. Run like hell. Let your parents sort it out on their own. They're grown ups now.

Comments

savmut 8

Friday 1 January 2016 1:59

Tell your mom to get vegan cheese and that she's a Whiny drunk.

JebMcdeber 11

Friday 1 January 2016 2:59

Sounds like your mom's a bitch. I'm sorry, OP. Maybe you can get her to try a different drug? Perhaps weed, or Valium... Midol. Anything, really.

NYGiants1925 22

Friday 1 January 2016 3:06

Sounds like my parents sober lol

capnbzarr 43

Friday 1 January 2016 4:14

Doesn't matter; had pizza.

xelarea 14

Friday 1 January 2016 5:48

I'd have run to the store for some veggie slices shredded lactose free cheese and make another pizza. It's decent stuff. I make my pizzas with it since I'm also incredibly lactose intolerant.

PenguinsLaugh 24

Sunday 17 January 2016 9:31

Unfortunately, most stores in small towns in WI (and the majority of WI is small towns) don't carry lactose-free cheese.

shelovesshoes 23

Friday 1 January 2016 9:22

oh dear

Iamnotfat 16

Friday 1 January 2016 16:13

Op you can fix this problem and help your mom with these over the counter pills called "lactaid" or "lacteeze" two different brands that do the same thing. Basically it is Lactase enzymes in pills (the chemical your body needs to digest milk) so as long as she takes 2-3 of these chewables before eating or drinking dairy, and should be fine. This helps people with Lactose intolerance, however not those with milk allergy so be careful as to which one she has.