Work: Fixed it

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Fixed it

By Anonymous - 12/12/2012 03:50 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 904

You deserved it 8 675

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Same thing different taste

By oopsididitagain - 30/11/2010 18:49 - United States

Today, at the coffee shop where I work, my supervisor smelled "something weird, like sulfur." I spent the next ten minutes pretending to look for the source of the smell with her, rather than admit that it had come from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 983

You deserved it 30 259

Escape goat

By Anonymous - 12/12/2022 16:00 - United States - Helena

Today, I found out that several coworkers had been complaining about me behind my back for a couple of weeks, including to my manager. When my manager finally brought the issue up to me, he realized that I hadn’t done anything wrong; there was an error in our computer system. Nobody has apologized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 300

You deserved it 126

Good one, guys, thanks

By Anonymous - 19/04/2022 00:01

Today, I was fixing something for a guy at a steel manufacturing company. His employees told me that their boss can't hear properly, so I'd have to be loud when talking to him. When I'd finished, he asked me if I normally talked like that, or if there was something wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 047

You deserved it 182

All shook up

By Mike - 15/12/2010 11:57

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was, "I farted." Well, at least they all laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 084

You deserved it 8 699

By Anonymous - 18/10/2012 06:33 - Canada - Toronto

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 730

You deserved it 2 483

By melons - 03/07/2013 09:09 - United Kingdom - Redditch

Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 125

You deserved it 5 307

Stinky

By PUE - 23/07/2022 04:00

Today, I found out I’m the “smelly girl” in the office. Now I understand all those passive-aggressive subtle comments about hygiene and showering made by my coworkers, and why a bottle of Dial body wash randomly appeared on my desk one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 1 555

By Eric Forrest - 24/02/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, while at a work meeting, I finally summoned up the courage to share and express my opinions about unprofessionalism in the office. After the meeting, I went to clean up, only to notice in the bathroom mirror that I'd had a booger pasted across my forehead throughout the meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 148

You deserved it 23 982

By Anonymous - 26/05/2016 16:58 - Belgium - De Pinte

Today, my co-workers decided in our meeting with my boss that everything is my fault. When asked for examples, they couldn't come up with any. Now they are mad at me, because I'm apparently good at my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 760

You deserved it 1 004

By Anonymous - 14/12/2012 23:16 - United Kingdom - Bridgwater

Today, I sent an email to my boss saying I'd fixed a glitch in our mail servers. He called me later, angrily shouting that I'd done a piss-poor job of fixing it, because my email had spammed his inbox with several hundred duplicate messages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 853

You deserved it 11 335

Awsemogreeb 19

Wednesday 12 December 2012 8:58

Now get to work on the other things.

Harpy20 24

Wednesday 12 December 2012 8:58

Well now you can fix it all.

Comments

ks23 9

Wednesday 12 December 2012 9:21

If 11 people comment on your bad hygiene you might want to take notes and fix the problems.

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Wednesday 12 December 2012 9:38

Well, I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. That stinks.

Sarah123321 4

Wednesday 12 December 2012 10:28

That was punny.

Sprechchor 12

Wednesday 12 December 2012 9:49

How could they forget about that? Coffee is an everyday essential. Unlike, say, hygiene.

cameron194 9

Wednesday 12 December 2012 9:59

Lol nice fml reference , *high five* :D

Crimsos 4

Wednesday 12 December 2012 10:10

You probably need to shave and wax that unibrow too.

rahrah27 10

Wednesday 12 December 2012 10:23

I either know you, or someone very very like you. Lives in Queensland too.

Ins0mau 20

Wednesday 12 December 2012 12:00

Bloody Queenslanders... ;-)

lesserofallevils 9

Wednesday 12 December 2012 11:06

I get the feeling that your obsession with coffee doesn't help too much with your stinky breath issues

spottyblanket 8

Wednesday 12 December 2012 11:42

Be glad, now you can fix those other issues

BlackBlazeCobra 16

Wednesday 12 December 2012 11:47

Yikes. If they're guessing that then maybe you should take a step up in personal hygiene.

pipinya 8

Wednesday 12 December 2012 11:50

Sounds like a scene out of The Office

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. He got on top and started kissing my ear when a warm liquid went down my neck. My boyfriend had a gushing nosebleed, which went threw the pillowcase and the pillow. I got cockblocked by a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 128

You deserved it 176

Today, I travelled across an ocean to visit the guy I'm dating. He lied to me about his apartment; he lives in a dorm with a twin-sized bed and a bathroom he shares with eight guys. Just now, after taking three trains from the airport to his "apt", he asked me to edit his essay while he goes to class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 989

You deserved it 8 592

The Top

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 039

You deserved it 3 465

Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 148

You deserved it 3 940

Today, it was the third time in a row someone has lost a boner inside of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 567

You deserved it 634

Today, I bought myself my first gaming PC for Christmas. After two hours of setting it up, I proceeded to spill a full cup of coffee in to it and slowly watched it die. I'm an electronic technician so I knew better then to have my coffee anywhere near it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 777

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 474

You deserved it 6 090

Today, I received a birthday card from my dad, over a week late. It was addressed to me using my maiden name, the enclosed check also made out to me using my maiden name. I've been married for over 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 242

You deserved it 1 558