Health, Embarrassing, Medication and Work: Gassed up

Gassed up

By Tootie - 30/07/2011 06:58 - United States

Today, I have to take medicine that gives me painful, violent farts. Tomorrow, I have to either get fired or go work in an office that's dead silent. How silent? Last week I heard my coworker drop a paperclip, three desks away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 955

You deserved it 3 544

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/08/2014 21:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 962

You deserved it 11 822

The unexpected

By RikkiTikkiTavi - 12/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was working at my desk and wearing my new noise cancelling headphones. I couldn’t hear anyone around me, so I let out a nice long fart. Every desk behind me was occupied and the fart was not silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 3 634

Gas wars

By Anonymous - 17/05/2021 15:59 - United States

Today, a co-worker has the office next to mine. The walls are not soundproofed. I can hear him farting loudly throughout the day. He spread a rumor around the office that he can hear me farting all day. Another coworker told me and gave me advice on foods not to eat, that gave people bad gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 94

By Anonymous - 18/10/2012 06:33 - Canada - Toronto

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 724

You deserved it 2 480

By pleasestop - 11/06/2011 08:48 - Australia

Today, I woke up with bowel problems which have been causing me to violently pass wind every couple of minutes. I have to spend the next two hours sitting an exam in dead silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 199

You deserved it 3 420

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 640

By avoid the sour cream - 30/12/2012 06:14 - United States

Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 696

You deserved it 2 839

By Mic - 07/01/2010 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 535

You deserved it 4 649

Ight imma head out

By Anonymous - 10/10/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 140

Pissed

By Anonymous - 19/11/2023 03:00 - Cayman Islands - George Town

Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 350

YacL 15

Saturday 30 July 2011 16:18

Drop another paperclip to mask the sound?

DrewsFML 8

Saturday 30 July 2011 16:22

Sit in your office chair in the aisle and let your gas propel you through the maze of cubicles. if you're going to get fired, you may as well do it in style.

Comments

bmthfan16 0

Monday 1 August 2011 6:59

I want that medicine

sparxva 12

Monday 1 August 2011 14:50

So what? Go to work. Your co-workers will deal with it. Just stay aeay from open flames...

Evening_Odds 5

Monday 1 August 2011 20:37

just spread your cheeks and rip'em silent!

j_cat187 19

Tuesday 2 August 2011 0:01

play sum music or sew ur ass shut

NotAUsername 5

Tuesday 2 August 2011 7:42

Bro, that's terrible. Made me Laugh teh ***** Out Loud, though.

baccaz16 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 8:25

I never wanna take those meds

ksisseck 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 5:46

cough when you fart. hopefully they dont smell

Black_Letter 19

Tuesday 9 August 2011 19:50

Peter Griffin tried that and it didn't work out so well...

ashtree 12

Friday 5 August 2011 20:48

Good luck with that one. I mean, worst case you could resort to using it as a weapon, transforming your office into a bio hazard zone and forcing everyone to leave.