Animals: Good boy - FML

Good boy

By Lua - 28/06/2016 17:09 - France - Laon

Today, my friends renamed my dog, “Dog Vader.“ Yes, my dog has asthma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 374

You deserved it 930

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/12/2011 04:27 - Canada

Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 975

You deserved it 4 073

By Emily - 05/12/2012 17:55 - United States - Boston

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 710

You deserved it 4 343

Insane

By moving out first chance I get! - 03/03/2023 18:00

Today, my insane mother struck again. She refused to drive me to my doctor’s appointment for my asthma because the office won’t let her bring her precious doggo inside and it’s too cold to sit in the car with it. No, she won’t leave it at home like a normal person, and no it’s not a service dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 106

By Anonymous - 19/06/2019 00:04

Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 244

Never forget

By OhhhNooo - 14/03/2010 23:23 - United States

Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 874

You deserved it 2 437

Are you sure you're OK?

By H…… - 20/11/2020 20:08

Today, my roommate and I were talking about how much better my dog has gotten at not peeing in the house, and how I was doing better at not losing my temper when he did. A few hours after this conversation, the dog pissed all over the floor and I screamed so loudly that now my throat hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 2 046

WOOF WOOF

By fuck! - 16/05/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, my upstairs neighbors, in my supposedly pet-free apartment complex, got a puppy. It’s a Great Dane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 111

By aaalias34 - 26/02/2010 11:13 - United States

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 996

You deserved it 8 456

By Swabidizop - 18/05/2015 20:40 - United States - Greeley

Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 051

You deserved it 8 053

By BadBreath - 09/04/2009 03:43 - United States

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 681

You deserved it 9 394

Next

Top comments

MandieL 27

Wednesday 29 June 2016 9:24

I don't understand why this is an issue.

lovebooks07 15

Wednesday 29 June 2016 9:24

I'm sorry about your dog, OP. Though I have to say your friends sound quite hilarious

Comments

MandieL 27

Wednesday 29 June 2016 9:24

I don't understand why this is an issue.

CrassKal 27

Thursday 30 June 2016 4:35

I guess it might be hurtful to poke fun at an animal's health issue. Kind of like calling a double amputee "Lt. Dan". Except the being in question is unaware, so maybe OP feels like the mocking dog behind it's back?

Joseph24689 14

Thursday 30 June 2016 5:04

LT DAN ICE CREAM

lovebooks07 15

Wednesday 29 June 2016 9:24

I'm sorry about your dog, OP. Though I have to say your friends sound quite hilarious

Emirac 10

Wednesday 29 June 2016 9:26

So? I had a female cat we called Dennis and a male dog that my brother called myrtle the turtle. It was funny. I'd say more f your dog's life. Asthma has to suck.

lusanna 19

Wednesday 29 June 2016 9:41

Awe maybe you'll eventually learn to like it or you can name your friend hand solo

Theguyinthedark 11

Wednesday 29 June 2016 12:07

I'm gonna call my friend that. Thank you.

Lt_Senpai 21

Thursday 30 June 2016 5:57

What if I do it with 2 hands?

pandor_fml 24

Wednesday 29 June 2016 9:43

I feel you OP, I tried to name my cat "possum" but everyone just ended up calling her "Not Righty" :( it stuck too. To be fair the cat is pretty not right though

Carrot021 12

Wednesday 29 June 2016 12:26

I had a cat named Possum before. She was a great cat ❤

mds9986 24

Wednesday 29 June 2016 9:47

Luke, you are my puppy.

Lt_Senpai 21

Wednesday 29 June 2016 9:59

Dude, I love Star Trek too!

Mel_ham 15

Monday 13 February 2017 8:11

lmao... star trek

Dr_Awesome654 24

Wednesday 29 June 2016 10:06

Actually, I didn't ask

Lily_Rain77 25

Wednesday 29 June 2016 10:24

Glad I don't have friends like that. I have asthma. Sucks for your dog though.

rmz89 5

Wednesday 29 June 2016 10:54

Learned to use the dog side of the force your dog has.

Keywords

Awkward Embarrassing Miscellaneous Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Dogs Animals Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, my brother showed my wife a Craigslist ad by someone seeking casual sex. It had very specific details that made it seem like I wrote it. My brother later admitted in private that he made the post as revenge for me not loaning him $500 last month. Meanwhile, my wife still thinks I'm unfaithful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 647

You deserved it 1 159

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 059

You deserved it 3 210

The Top

Today, when I signed into Amazon, their top recommendation for me based on past purchases was "The Brave Little Toaster" on DVD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 357

You deserved it 25 850

Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 064

You deserved it 4 922

Today, I was chosen out of 64 women to model for the catalog of a new clothing store. Just when my self-confidence took a dramatic boost, I looked at the evaluation sheet. I was picked due to attributes such as my "extra large figure and average face" to make below average women feel beautiful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 498

You deserved it 4 646

Today, I went to the doctor for the constant pain I have when eating savory or sour foods. It turns out I have a stone in my saliva gland, and no joke, the only thing I can do to fix it is eat savory or sour food to make me drool enough to force it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 732

You deserved it 433

Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 439

You deserved it 3 366

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 596

You deserved it 4 253