Kids and Parents: Got 'em

Got 'em

By Anonymous - 20/01/2010 06:50 - United States

Today, my older brother and I were teasing our mom about her age. When we jokingly told her it was hard for us to watch our parents get old, she responded by saying, "Yeah, well, it's hard for me to watch my kids grow up and not have anyone who wants to marry them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 359

You deserved it 47 785

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Same thing different taste

Under pressure

By No Pressure - 06/07/2022 04:00

Today, my mom asked me out of the blue if I was ever going to consider getting married. It wasn't until after the conversation ended that I remembered my siblings are all either single like I am, or incapable of having children. I am my mother's last hope of becoming a grandma, and she reminds me all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 040

You deserved it 132

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 15:36 - United States - Mckinney

Today, my 5-year-old daughter said "Mommy, why doesn't anyone wanna marry you?" I've been asking myself the same question for all too many years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 949

You deserved it 1 975

By Stupendous_ - 03/12/2012 07:17 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, while visiting my widowed great aunt, she took out her wedding rings and talked about the love she and my uncle had. Smiling, I told her that one day I hope to have as happy a marriage as theirs. Her response? "Knowing you, I wouldn't count on it." My mother sat there agreeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 449

You deserved it 2 551

By loser - 02/03/2016 00:20 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, my mum asked when she's getting grandkids. I had to tell her that, at 21 years-old, I hadn't even managed to get a boyfriend yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 593

You deserved it 1 647

Vessels

By failed brood mare - 17/11/2013 17:46 - United States - Hollywood

Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 768

You deserved it 3 129

The matchmaker

By Anonymous - 29/09/2022 07:30

Today, my mom has been aggressively trying to get me to marry one of her coworkers, who is around my age. Apparently she loves her like the daughter she always wanted, and since it would be silly to adopt her; she is determined she will be her daughter-in-law instead, whether I like it or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 407

You deserved it 137

By Anonymous - 21/06/2009 08:50 - Australia

Today, I was talking with my mother and expressed my slight disappointment at how many of my friends are getting into relationships, whereas I'm still single. My mother decided to encourage me by saying "Don't worry, sweetie. There are boys out there who don't go for looks. You'll be fine". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 191

You deserved it 4 023

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 12/04/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my 58 year-old mother told me she’s having a baby. Apparently she hasn’t started menopause yet, but assumed from her age she wouldn’t get pregnant when she started seeing a man she goes to bingo with. 58 years-old. My little brother/sister is going to be 36 years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 87

Don't mess with Texas

By Anonymous - 08/03/2022 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my fiancé expressed concern for her mother's health and a desire to be with her in Texas. I called her mother, who is 69 years young and will outlive us all, and it came up that her brother's BFF, who my fiancé has been crushing on since she was a tween, just got divorced and moved back to Texas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 251

You deserved it 93

Supportive

By bopbop - 20/05/2009 01:21 - United States

Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because she "wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 083

You deserved it 4 371

YoungE 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:14

lol what happened can joke but not take it?

SliceNthrice 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:05

snapppp

Comments

CallMeHush 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 17:48

Mom Win! Move out before you are elected President of The Losers Club.

carrotpuke 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 17:59

...probably also jokingly. grow a pair.

heartlessagony 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 18:48

Your mom is cool OP.

sparxva 12

Wednesday 20 January 2010 19:03

Looks like you brought a knife to a gunfight. pwned!

thaprodigy_07 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 19:06

dannnnng that's messed up LMBO

Erock5718 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 19:17

you want some ice for that burn?

TheRipper_fml 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 19:27

Haha your mom got in that ass!

xxxviii 5

Wednesday 20 January 2010 19:28

LOL ,,,mom 1 kids 0..hahahaha go mom!

israelnotjacob 20

Wednesday 20 January 2010 19:31

BURN! Your mom is awesome. She completely whooped you at your own game, lol.

graciedacie 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 19:36

Classic. Haha, this reminds me of when I first started reading FMLs...definitely added this one to my favorites! :)

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The Top

Today, the girl I love who friendzoned me called to talk. She shared the marvelous things she'd done for her friend's birthday, then said, "You had a recent birthday too." Then she laughed. We'd talked multiple times without her mentioning my birthday. She ignored it on Facebook. Time for no contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 183

Today, my wife upset herself by ringing my best friend to see if he would lie about where I was, and he did. Now my wife thinks I get my friends to lie for me to cover up my cheating. I’ve never once cheated. This feels like the next level up from cheating on her in her dreams, because she's crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 124

The Top

Today, I watched an old man pee himself while he was talking to me at work. I didn't do anything or say something, solely because he didn't get any on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 128

Today, my boyfriend asked me to look up something on his phone. I jokingly asked him, “You’re not worried about me discovering your side bitches?” He got upset and angrily said he didn’t have any. I took his defensiveness as an indication of guilt and dumped him. Turns out he was right, he didn’t have side chicks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 1 674

Today, I sent the texts "I love and miss you babe;)." and "Shit wrong person." to my ex just so he would think I have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 518

You deserved it 62 370

Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 107

You deserved it 29 537

Today, my wife is still angry with me, 11 years later, for not allowing her to give our son her surname. Damn you, your surname is your ex-husband's name. You never changed it back. How on Earth is it acceptable for my child to carry your ex's surname? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 184

You deserved it 158

Today, it's my sixth month of working out 5 days a week, watching what I eat while my family eats like kings, and only losing 2lbs. It's also the day husband said he misses my 20 year-old body and no longer finds me attractive, but that's okay because he "loves me anyways and it's good to know where we stand." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 138

You deserved it 168