Alcohol, Drunk and Roommate: Gratitude

Gratitude

By fuckmylife - 28/04/2009 08:45 - United States

Today, I decided to be the sober housemate for the first time in a while. I drove my drunk friends to the bar and back, even buying them pizza before they passed out in the living room. I got repaid by catching my wasted housemate in my room, peeing all over my floor, bed, and nightstand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 355

You deserved it 8 367

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Same thing different taste

By pukeytimes - 10/04/2015 23:03 - Australia - Leichhardt

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 842

You deserved it 2 260

By Anonymous - 16/07/2009 01:53 - United States

Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 427

You deserved it 6 089

By good friend - 27/12/2013 06:35 - United States - Missoula

Today, my friends and I had our Christmas party. I ended up being the only one sober, and had to drive each and every person home. There were 15 of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 531

You deserved it 5 818

Party hard

By Coldflame - 06/03/2010 15:22 - United States

Today, I was designated driver for my friends. This entailed standing around in the cold for 3 hours, not drinking, dealing with drunk people, and oh yeah, I almost forgot, cleaning up vomit from my hair, my clothes, and my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 136

You deserved it 7 527

Partaaaaay!

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 18:16 - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 128

You deserved it 46 983

By Anonymous - 14/05/2015 02:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 259

You deserved it 36 941

By scheisse - 14/07/2013 21:25 - Germany - Herne

Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 319

You deserved it 67 524

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 629

You deserved it 34 436

Oh what a night

By EmployeeOfTheMonth - 09/06/2013 23:33 - United States - Montpelier

Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 465

You deserved it 9 137

By Anonymous - 25/08/2011 06:49 - United States

Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 146

You deserved it 3 487

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 28 April 2009 16:04

Pay him back by ******** on his face when he passes out. Or just his bed. Your call.. Personally if someone did that to me I would go shit on his clothes, bed and toothbrush! And when I ran out of shit I would start pissing... and when I ran out of piss I would start wanking over his stuff.

Whisp3r 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 16:04

Damn man I know just what you mean. I've been through it before. That's why I'm never DD anymore LOL

Comments

SamuraiDeli 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 23:13

This would be an FYL except for the part where you said you "decided to be the sober housemate for the first time in awhile." Meaning, you are usually the drunk one making an idiot of yourself. Seems like karma just catching up with you. YDI.

cantth1nk0fnam3 3

Tuesday 28 April 2009 23:26

no good deed goes unpunished

24788 6

Tuesday 28 April 2009 23:58

lol, he's drunk. Make sure he buys you breakfast or something.

UsingLogic 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 4:00

#1 You really have issues. I mean come on, you're talking about yourself like you're some kind of shit dispenser. Sounds like you wouldn't mind wearing a sign around your neck that says: 1 - Insert quarter in mouth 2 - Place bucket between legs 3 - Say desired body fluid 4 - Retrieve bucket Maybe you'd make a good living out of this. I'm sure a lot of people would be twisted enough to actually pay for this.

Zoa_fml 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 6:14

Hmm well that sucks but I bet you have done some pretty f-ed up things too while drunk!

b5200 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 6:48

Do it to him while sober, bring friends.

coriander 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 9:01

what's with drunk people peeing on people on things? i mean seriously?

Jimboom 11

Wednesday 29 April 2009 13:46

#46/#47 Nah, I'm not the one who posted that. That's just sick. Maybe. Sounds like a good business plan. You want to be partners? Could open up a whole new industry? ;-)