Money, Thief, Technology, Break-ups and Cops: Help yourself! - FML

Help yourself!

By called the cops - 22/09/2023 19:00 - United States

Today, my now ex was angrily moving out of our place. She slammed the door so hard behind her it bounced back wide open instead of latching. I don’t live in the best of neighborhoods. Since I was out of town, all I could do was watch helplessly on the Ring camera as my place was emptied out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 148

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 18:15 - United States - Hyde Park

Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 748

You deserved it 1 657

Drama!

By Anonymous - 16/09/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I tried to make a dramatic exit after arguing with my flatmate. I slammed the door, but the handle broke, and I had to ask him for help to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 505

Last laugh

By Anonymous - 21/03/2023 18:00

Today, my ex-roommate, who decided to move out when my other roommate and I told her we didn't want a giant dresser for her dogs' clothes and stuff in the dining room, took the door knob out of the door to her former bedroom and threw some of my things in the recycling bin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 118

By Anonymous - 10/07/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me in my front yard. As I stormed off in my dramatic exit, I realized I had locked myself outside. I had to ask my now ex-boyfriend to borrow his phone so I could call my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 979

You deserved it 9 533

The key to happiness

By Luke - 25/07/2010 22:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping a friend move. Before we arrived, he put his key on my key ring to keep it safe. When we got there, he promptly shoved my front door key into the lock and snapped it clean off. Not only can we not get into his house, but now I can't get back into mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 892

You deserved it 4 093

By Mel Hahn - 17/09/2017 16:00

Today, I walked out of my boyfriend's house to see my car window smashed in and my steering wheel cover stolen. I was only staying at his place because there had been a rash of vehicle break-ins in my neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 709

You deserved it 290

Open up!

By nooooooooob - 05/10/2011 08:59 - United States

Today, after a long bike-ride home, I thought my roommate was being a douche and holding the door shut to our apartment. After about ten minutes of shoulder-slamming and name calling, I discovered that I just wasn't turning the key all the way, which I found out when my roomie came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 118

You deserved it 35 146

By Megz - 02/01/2013 17:38 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 264

You deserved it 2 753

By shadow - 26/12/2017 08:00 - United States - Osceola

Today, my mother-in-law told my fiancé that I had to leave and wasn’t allowed to live there anymore. I own the house. She’s mad because I locked the door so she couldn't walk in anytime she wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 941

You deserved it 357

Pleased to meet you

By Homeless without superbowl - 16/02/2023 16:00

Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 4 803

Next

Top comments

Hangryko 29

Saturday 23 September 2023 4:47

Why didn't you call the police?

Justkidding100 41

Saturday 23 September 2023 6:48

read the username

Comments

Hangryko 29

Saturday 23 September 2023 4:47

Why didn't you call the police?

Justkidding100 41

Saturday 23 September 2023 6:48

read the username

Hangryko 29

Saturday 23 September 2023 11:22

Oops, just read the username. Apologies.

Yudith 24

Saturday 23 September 2023 14:36

Holy nuclear revenge Batman!

HouseOfM 8

Saturday 23 September 2023 16:17

If a SO is leaving you after living together you make sure you are there incase they try to damage or steal something. YDI

J_Free_Woods 28

Saturday 23 September 2023 17:35

The person may not have had a choice because he was working out of town.

D J's MOM 17

Sunday 24 September 2023 14:03

you can sue her

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I came out as lesbian and introduced my new girlfriend to my family. My mom angrily told me that I should have waited until my grandparents had died before coming out, and that I was "extremely disrespectful" for making this announcement. I honestly thought everyone would be fine with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 094

You deserved it 1 169

Ahoy ship's boys and girls ! Today we're heading to France. Be ready to face rain, storm and beer because Lille is welcoming us, and believe me, it's not Los Angeles. Do you all have your raincoats? -Bonjour ! First of all, present yourself ma jol...

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 16

The Top

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 340

You deserved it 3 193

Today, I found out that worms in apples aren't something that you just see in cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 707

You deserved it 6 900

Today, I was working at a fast food restaurant when I cut my hand. There was a good amount of blood flowing out so I ran to my manager and asked where the first aid kit was. He then picked up a washcloth and some tape and handed it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 613

You deserved it 1 908

Today, I was waiting in the car for my roommate to come outside so we could get to work. He was taking his sweet ass time. And there was a large wasp flying around. And I have a fear of bees. And the window refused to roll up. I sat there, frozen in fear, until he finally came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 230

Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 481

You deserved it 26 060

Today, my mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on my husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 540

You deserved it 4 334