Sex, Cheating and Intimacy: Helpful guy - FML

Helpful guy

By I pick em' good - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out why my husband has been coming home from work so late. Turns out he loves to help people. Specifically female people. And by help, I mean sleep with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 225

You deserved it 3 389

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Top comments

KwtWaffles 15

Monday 4 May 2015 9:35

dump him and find somebody worth your time and knows what taking vows means, sorry you had to find out this way OP

Bubbiesss 11

Monday 4 May 2015 9:37

**** him OP you deserve better.

Comments

trellz17 19

Monday 4 May 2015 16:50

He stole your bike too, huh?

janfleury 19

Monday 4 May 2015 17:51

Time to ask him to be helpful to you by packing his stuff and getting the heck out. If he won't help you do it yourself. Then toss his crap out and change the locks and file for divorce. Good luck OP and you deserve so much better.

zarrganaut 17

Monday 4 May 2015 19:43

I'll never understand why people feel the need to cheat.

TheNewGuy03 28

Tuesday 5 May 2015 16:25

Lust.

drunk_crow 12

Monday 4 May 2015 20:53

The place where he lives at...

chikinscratch00 8

Monday 4 May 2015 21:01

That sucks.

danthehuman 29

Monday 4 May 2015 21:25

Does he steal a bike each time he goes help those people, OP?

chewebb 8

Monday 4 May 2015 23:34

Bad joke

ryenn 8

Tuesday 5 May 2015 0:10

Did he steal ur bike tho

suprisebitch 20

Tuesday 5 May 2015 0:22

What's with all these cheating husbands? Has no one got respect for others to end it rather than cheating ffs

nphill82 21

Tuesday 5 May 2015 2:33

He's been giving out the D, you can now give him the D-vorce!

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Keywords

Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Gross Smells Love Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Social Media Music Grieving Anniversary Boredom Ironic Intimacy Abuse Drunk Transportation AITA Alcohol Am I overreacting? Parents Gun control Kids

The Top

Today, I got home and found my girlfriend in bed with another guy. After the screaming, yelling, and kicking them both out of my house, all I wanted was whiskey. I found the bottle under the bed. It wasn’t enough the guy was porking my girlfriend, he had to drink my booze too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 112

Today, it started pouring while I was in the middle of a pizza delivery. I had to stand out in the rain for ten minutes while an old redneck dude wearing nothing but camo boxers fumbled around for the exact change to pay the bill. I think seeing his junk was supposed to count as my tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 794

You deserved it 3 231

The Top

Today, the block where I work had mandatory all-storefront works. I had to be there. The workers asked me for my ladder, cord extensions, driller, complained for 4 hours, and didn't clean after them. Now they're in front of my shop, loudly mocking my looks and clothes, I can hear them through the door. Nice day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 128

Today, I was playing football for my school. I had the ball and was running down the sideline. The guy behind pulled my flag off along with my shorts and boxers. I dove to try to escape and I happened to land on the hottest girl in the class who was on the sideline. I had no pants on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 950

You deserved it 5 119

Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 413

You deserved it 11 651

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 152

You deserved it 8 153

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 209

You deserved it 3 465

Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 398

You deserved it 4 383