Hi mom! - FML

Hi mom!

By jonnie - 07/05/2020 02:00

Today, I learned Google Assistant and Google Home work harmoniously together if I blabber on without ending a command, like when sending a text to my mom about canceling dinner plans because I’m fake sick and going to hook up with this guy, it’ll send every word. My mistake & lesson learned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 2 194

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Alexa, **** off

By GoogleOFF - 07/07/2020 08:08

Today, my Google Home decided the TV told it to play 'Despacito'. It didn't. Google then decided I wasn't yelling at it to turn it off. I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 199

You deserved it 367

By motherfucked - 15/01/2016 17:07 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I tried to send my friend a link to a really weird porno. Unfortunately, Google Hangouts popped up with a message from my mom. I didn't realize the keyboard focus had switched until I hit Ctrl+V and Enter real quick. Now I'm grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 700

You deserved it 21 192

Gan canny or we'll dunsh summick!

By Joshua - 28/08/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I discovered my new phone's voice command doesn't really understand my accent while I'm driving. It kept thinking I was saying, "Call my mum" instead of, "Open Maps". It called my mum 14 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 177

Spooky Season

By Vladislav - 20/10/2021 11:00

Today, my best friend and I watched the "OK Google" horror short film. It's about a ghost that controls a Google Home device. Right after the short ended, my Google Nest Mini came off the wall and stopped reacting. Neither of us was near it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 160

By xoccerplaya - 06/10/2011 10:46 - United States

Today, I forgot what I was doing while listening to a voicemail and started talking back to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 532

You deserved it 11 324

Just a prank, bro

By Anonymous - 09/05/2021 19:59 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my kids found out how to control my Google alarm clock with their phones. While I was gone, they set it to play screamo metal at max volume, then paused it. Sometime after midnight, as I was sleeping, they pressed play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 222

Just ignore it!

By nothing like tasty asshole - 26/11/2019 01:00 - United States - Shelbyville

Today, trying to be nice, I sent a text to my mother-in-law saying that I couldn't wait to have her delicious casserole tonight. Only after sending, I realized that "casserole" had auto corrected to "asshole". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 846

You deserved it 596

By in big trouble - 23/08/2014 12:28 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I had an argument with my boss and tried to text a friend about it. I accidentally texted my boss instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 394

You deserved it 25 976

Serial killer

By bananapie69 - 29/05/2020 23:00

Today, during my staff Google Meet conference, I forgot to mute my mic when I joined and I was still listening to a true crime podcast. I started to notice people's confused looks and realized they were all hearing the details of the bodies found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 1 080

Babe 3: Pig on the phone

By Anonymous - 27/01/2022 16:00 - United States - Stephenville

Today, I accidentally called my Dad “Babe” on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 729

Next

Top comments

jayqwe1 5

Thursday 7 May 2020 3:09

during lockdown?

BurnInDemonFire 34

Friday 8 May 2020 1:07

This is why I type out my texts. This is also why I take breaths when I speak.

Comments

jayqwe1 5

Thursday 7 May 2020 3:09

during lockdown?

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 7 May 2020 3:12

She should understand. In the words of the poet, Tone Loc: Hey, you two, I was once like you And I liked to do the Wild Thing!

BurnInDemonFire 34

Friday 8 May 2020 1:09

Yo Ace is in the house!

mekiswrite 21

Thursday 7 May 2020 20:11

Technology is always listening...

AmbrosiaFan 18

Thursday 7 May 2020 22:42

hahaahhaahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahahahahahahaahahahahahhahaahhaaaaaa

BurnInDemonFire 34

Friday 8 May 2020 1:07

This is why I type out my texts. This is also why I take breaths when I speak.

Keywords

Awkward Love My ex Jealousy Friends AITA Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Money Relatable Work DIY Kids Parenting Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, and for the past month, I've been feeling lightheaded from a breathing problem. I've now been prescribed a medication to help with my anxiety and my breathing issue, which would in turn help stop me from getting so lightheaded. The side effect of said medication: lightheadedness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 869

You deserved it 295

Today, my parents and I were looking for something using the TV's search bar. Despite never, ever watching anything resembling porn, one of the default search options was, "Hot female Asian sex videos." Thank God they have an excellent sense of humor, as they laughed their heads off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 83

The Top

Today, I was at work and commented on someone’s YouTube video that they sounded “so white” when pronouncing “Tacos Al Pastor.” I didn’t realize I'd used my job’s Google account to post the comment. Someone flagged my comment, and our IT department told my boss, who then fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 2 079

Today, at work, a midget came in to buy beer. Not only was he almost as tall as me, he got offended when I had to card him and explain that the manager told me to card everyone, and that it wasn't because he was short. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 406

You deserved it 3 279

Today, I was loading a very large box into my hatchback. I was really struggling, and a few people walked by and laughed. Then a car pulled up and waited for the spot. There isn't a spring to hold my trunk open, so it slammed onto my head. Twice. The car honked for me to hurry up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 736

You deserved it 2 449

Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 397

You deserved it 2 282

Today, I dumped my boyfriend because I found his OKCupid account. He claimed that he only has it so he can do the quizzes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 125

Today, I found out my father sleeps in the nude, when I rushed into my parents room at night to inform them there was a bat in the house. I’m traumatized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 620