Miscellaneous: I did nooooooooot!

I did nooooooooot!

By Just wanted a cigarette - 31/07/2015 02:06 - United States - Lagrangeville

Today, I wanted to buy a pack of cigarettes. My wife, who didn't want me to get them, decided it would be a good idea to jump on the hood of the car while I was driving off. She hit the car and fell off. My neighbor saw this. Neither her nor the cops believe me when I say I didn't hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 140

You deserved it 4 862

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Same thing different taste

Classic scam

By Anonymous - 01/07/2017 06:00 - United States - New Hyde Park

Today, I was driving when a woman started crossing the street against the light at the upcoming intersection, so I slammed on the brakes and stopped short of hitting her. That's when she intentionally jumped onto my car and started screaming that I had "mowed her down". The cops believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 240

You deserved it 307

By shewantsmedead - 26/01/2017 18:00

Today, I ran into my mother-in-law, who I absolutely can't stand, with my car at 5 mph by accident. She jumped out in front of me after a particularly nasty argument, but my husband won't believe me and neither will the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 070

You deserved it 573

By Tom - 25/11/2010 13:28

Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 181

You deserved it 2 587

By fhe - 16/04/2012 15:52 - Puerto Rico - San Juan

Today, I was fixing a leak in the roof. When I was climbing down the ladder, it fell, but I managed to grab the ledge of the roof. The ladder hit my wife's car, then I fell on top of the ladder. My wife came running out to ask what happened to the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 649

You deserved it 2 684

By yupthissucks - 13/04/2015 09:00 - United States - Newnan

Today, I ran into the woman who hit my car and drove off three days ago. She was my bank teller. I called 911; she pressed the silent alarm. Guess whose story the cops believed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 167

You deserved it 2 792

By prettyinpurple - 10/02/2009 04:54 - United States

Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 943

You deserved it 56 312

By dream_girl_3 - 08/03/2010 09:37 - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend drive my car, knowing that he doesn't have a license. While he was out, he ran a stop sign, collided with another vehicle, and then left the scene of the accident. Then he lied to me about how the accident happened so I "wouldn't be so upset." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 646

You deserved it 52 333

By legotron - 30/10/2009 08:06 - United States

Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 883

You deserved it 2 558

Are you OK?

By dxplq876 - 17/03/2009 03:13 - United States

Today, I was walking out of the grocery store when out of nowhere, a car backing up pretty fast sped down the parking lot and hit me, causing me to fall down and drop all of my groceries. The woman jumped out of her car, not to help me, but to carefully check her bumper for scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 928

You deserved it 4 674

By FangirlMess6 - 24/03/2017 07:00 - United States

Today, I saw a man stuck in his car door by his jacket. I ran over to help him, and his wife hit me with her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 839

You deserved it 334

wheresmymary 22

Friday 31 July 2015 17:28

Maybe you should have your wife explain her side of the story to them

AddictGamer 16

Friday 31 July 2015 17:34

To all these people saying to 'just stop smoking' it's harder than it sounds. As to OP, I hope you'll get your justice as of your story you are not in the wrong.

Comments

zarrganaut 17

Friday 31 July 2015 22:02

Secondhand smoke can harm others, ya know.

ProgrestYourself 4

Friday 31 July 2015 22:16

There's obviously way more to this story. How badly do you need to smoke that this would even be something that happens? If you and your wacko girl are gonna get in fights over cigarettes, don't do it in public.

Reasonable_one 12

Friday 31 July 2015 22:19

How quickly did this escalate to her jumping on the hood of your car? That is a bit of an extreme action so there must be more back story to this. How long have you smoked? How long has your wife known you smoke and wanted you to stop? You are ignoring some much bigger and more pressing issues than getting to your next cigarette. Do you like being married?

Miss_Mandi 29

Friday 31 July 2015 23:07

Then stop smoking. I've seen several people do it successfully (because a military career was on the line due to fitness scores sucking ass because they ran out of breath easily.) They told me chewing gum ALL the time and weaning yourself off by getting an e-cig helped, among a 6-step program and a couple other methods. As for your wife, if she hates that you smoke so much, then no, she will not tell them you didn't purposely hit her. She wants you to learn your lesson and realize how serious she is about it.