Sex and Intimacy: I'm coming! - FML

I'm coming!

By anonymous - 24/02/2010 05:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 876

You deserved it 4 483

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

Power moves

By Travis - 10/09/2021 22:59

Spicy

Today, my wife told me that I take her breath away. However, she was talking about my large stomach hitting her while we have sex and knocking the wind out of her with every thrust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 1 208

By cj123 - 23/12/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 507

You deserved it 5 484

By katie - 25/05/2011 08:23

Spicy

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 975

You deserved it 19 174

By lovely - 19/12/2011 06:43 - Netherlands

Spicy

Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 576

You deserved it 4 588

By shopper242 - 22/11/2010 12:29 - France

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 921

You deserved it 4 098

Romantic afterglow

By easyontheeyes1 - 01/05/2020 02:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 770

You deserved it 490

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 20:12 - United States - Ellicott City

Spicy

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 670

You deserved it 8 164

By nick - 27/06/2016 03:44 - United States - Highland Park

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 474

You deserved it 2 108

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 427

You deserved it 763

By laury - 09/05/2012 02:05 - Canada - Port Elgin

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 567

You deserved it 3 646

Next

Top comments

babybubz 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 13:16

sooooo.. because fish breathe under water.. I'm gonna assume when you 'finish' you flap around all over the place? yeah you might wanna work on that..

wtgjeremy 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 12:22

tell her she smells like one

Comments

LRyuzaki17 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 22:28

lmao sorry dude

haralynn 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 23:24

ooooh thats funny

epicenur 2

Wednesday 24 February 2010 23:54

tell her you look pregnant

randy121 0

Thursday 25 February 2010 1:20

Face it man, u need to start excercising!;)

TAST3MYRAINB00Wx 0

Thursday 25 February 2010 2:07

hows that an fml? it would be an fml if you werent getting sex at all. moving on

sirhk 0

Thursday 25 February 2010 8:20

thats the "Oh Face" you know oh oh oh brownie pts if anyone knows where thats from.

Yankeepunk 0

Thursday 25 February 2010 11:29

wait after good quality sex dosnt everyone gasp for air. I mean you orgasim. and then you go back to normal. I dont know mabye im just a good lover =)

thedeadman64 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 3:25

do u???

mugiwara_fml 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 14:57

Well, the plastic bag on your head doesn't really help. :o)

classyshanny 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 4:03

that's kind of hot. just saying. bahaha.

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Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Cars You're fired Work Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Am I overreacting? Intimacy Sex Management Poopoo peepee Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 784

You deserved it 22 713

Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 332

You deserved it 4 254

The Top

Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 915

You deserved it 18 625

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 935

You deserved it 30 148

Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 613

You deserved it 844

Today, I talked to my birth mother for the first time in over 26 years. Five minutes into our conversation, I remembered why I stayed away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 564

You deserved it 240

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 542

You deserved it 5 210

Today, while driving to work, some asshole stopped sharply on the 60 mph highway because he almost hit the car in front of him. Even with maintaining my distance, and slamming on the brakes, I still ruined the front end of my car on his dented bumper. I haven't even had the car for a year, and I'm still the one at fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 1 020