Kids: Kinda sus

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Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 15/12/2010 05:42 - United States

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 395

You deserved it 10 702

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Same thing different taste

Classic toddler moment

By Anonymous - 01/11/2024 03:00 - Ireland

Today, I took my very talkative toddler to a grocery store. As we passed a woman in an aisle, my kid pointed and said loudly, "Mummy, why does that lady have such a funny face?" I had to awkwardly apologize while my face went beet red. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 99

Potty

By Dafawk - 19/06/2016 20:54

Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 303

You deserved it 6 521

Scary!

By Heather - 03/02/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I was at a restaurant when I made eye contact with a baby across the room. It smiled at me, so I smiled back. The baby immediately started screaming. Everyone stared at me like I'd just threatened it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 77

Reported

By maximumpower - 15/03/2009 01:46 - United States

Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when a small boy started looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kid's face look like that"? He said it so loud, the three tables next to us turned and looked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 156

You deserved it 3 526

Breeders

By Anonymous - 12/07/2015 19:39 - United Kingdom

Today, a customer at the restaurant where I work reduced me to tears by screaming at me, as I nearly knocked out his 2-year-old with the kitchen door, after he let the little boy play on the floor behind it. Apparently, it's my fault I can't see through solid wood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 656

You deserved it 1 945

By Scaryman - 21/02/2010 00:03 - United States

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 285

You deserved it 4 181

Parroting

By Anonymous - 06/07/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, my toddler repeated a very inappropriate word I'd said when I'd stubbed my toe. He chose to do this in the middle of a crowded supermarket, loudly, and repeatedly. Now the whole town probably thinks I have questionable parenting skills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 214

Freaked out

By radioinvader - 28/10/2012 12:29 - Canada - Kingston

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down, laughing uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 564

You deserved it 3 761

No soup for you

By unicornlove - 17/07/2020 20:01

Today, I was bringing a table a bowl of soup at my waitressing job. A new customer taking off his coat threw his elbow out, violently knocking the soup out of my hands and onto his baby in a highchair. The baby screamed; I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 902

You deserved it 163

By Anonymous - 04/08/2013 00:46 - United States - Kerman

Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 297

You deserved it 7 315

lol_ironic_life 9

Wednesday 15 December 2010 12:02

Now the waiter thinks that you're an abusive parent. Watch your back OP, your toddler is trying to put you away while he plans to rule the world!

DakotaCat 4

Wednesday 15 December 2010 12:08

We all know he didn't fall off a cart... He's actually the world's youngest professional boxer

Comments

wcstcomic 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 17:50

I love all the pretentious "smart" people on this thread, and countless others on FML that preach "Think before you speak!" First of all, you make it sound like you've never blurted out something in your life that made you look silly in context. And secondly, and I think most importantly, I do believe the next time my toddler is about to hurt themselves, I will think really carefully about what some nosy waiter is going to think about what I'm about to say, instead of just blurting something out quickly so my child actually stops before hurting themselves. You must have a real interesting life when you can spend so much time plotting out every single word you say. Oh wait no, it's just really easy to blame people when you're behind a computer screen.

the_elephant_fly 3

Friday 17 December 2010 21:37

haha that's what I was thinking!

MyS3lf 24

Tuesday 11 January 2011 3:58

I usually sit in FRONT of my screen, thinking of what I'm going to say before I post it, so I don't sound like an idiot. Of course, I always practice the "Think before you speak" rule, especially when talking to children. But then again I usually pay enough attention to my child that they don't get into situations where I have to stupidly blurt something out to keep them from hurting themselves. Gosh, being an attentive parent, what a concept!!