Sex, Parents and Intimacy: Let me in

Let me in

By miley098 - 02/11/2011 16:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home from school, only to find I was locked out. The cars were all there, but no one was in. It wasn't until I heard continuous banging from my parents' window that it clicked. They kept me locked me for over an hour in freezing weather just to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 243

You deserved it 4 785

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/04/2016 19:46 - United States - Bronx

Today, I got locked in my boyfriend's garage in my underwear while his parents ripped him a new one for having sex beneath their roof. His sister had to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 560

You deserved it 5 052

By something - 16/02/2019 18:00

Today, I was walking home from school and my stupid brother who comes earlier then me locked the storm door. I ended up trying every other door for 3 hours in below freezing temperature. I was numb everywhere. I rang the bell and my brother opened it. He was home the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 2 555

Grounded

By cock sauce - 09/06/2012 21:15 - Switzerland - Luzern

Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 379

You deserved it 29 664

Long walk home

By zoe - 15/07/2022 22:00

Today, I got locked out of a building that I work in (I work night shifts). I locked my phone, wallet, and car keys in the building. I had no way of contacting my boss or getting a ride. I had to walk home at night, almost got hit by a car full of dudes yelling slurs, and had a woman scream at me from the passenger seat of a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 217

By Eeeek - 26/08/2010 21:17 - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and found ourselves locked in. We slept there overnight. We woke up when the cleaning lady found us the next morning and were greeted by worried parents and school staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 127

You deserved it 52 905

By killmenow - 23/04/2014 14:54 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 832

You deserved it 14 406

By Anonymous - 07/09/2009 21:20 - United States

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 207

You deserved it 3 465

By Sky - 25/07/2018 01:30

Today, since my parents always told me that I was welcome to come home whenever I want or need, I decided to stop by. They'd changed the locks and wouldn't let me in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 502

You deserved it 334

By TheComputerGuy96 - 22/05/2010 07:56 - Italy

Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 615

You deserved it 32 610

By Anonymous - 28/02/2015 03:20 - United States - Auburn

Today, I fell in the shower and the doors jammed shut. I was stuck in there for hours, waiting for my parents to come home. They had to open the door for me while I was still naked inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 242

You deserved it 3 477

EvilPotato 14

Wednesday 2 November 2011 22:19

Sex is way better than kids :P you've been overruled.

Aaronftw 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 22:20

Sometimes you just gotta take one for team

Comments

GOTxMILK 5

Wednesday 2 November 2011 22:23

They were fighting over who was gonna get the door for you.

DarkMoon159 5

Wednesday 2 November 2011 22:23

That's their way of making the house warmer on a cold day.

marit1997 4

Wednesday 2 November 2011 22:23

Just to have sex you say.

saIty 17

Wednesday 2 November 2011 22:24

Hopefully they don't do something kinky that'll make one or both of them come crashing through the window. How awkward would that be?

jjames67 4

Wednesday 2 November 2011 22:24

better than them leavingthe door unlocked and you walking in and finding them.

yankfan89 27

Wednesday 2 November 2011 22:53

That would be worse than being outside. At least OP didn't have to see anyone naked and thrusting, hopefully...

HoboSmeller 6

Wednesday 2 November 2011 22:24

sorry OP FYL, but either way , your parents have needs too, give them a break.

captainbj2 0

Thursday 3 November 2011 1:37

Said well. Very true.

HoboSmeller 6

Wednesday 2 November 2011 22:25

sorry OP FYL, but either way , your parents have needs too, give them a break.

JumbledGirl 2

Wednesday 2 November 2011 22:25

I did that to my parents :( they watched...

chelseaaababyyy 17

Wednesday 2 November 2011 22:34

uhh, what do you mean they watched ?...

TheDrifter 23

Wednesday 2 November 2011 23:02

Was it your dad that told you to put your back into it?

Cmdr_Shepard 17

Wednesday 2 November 2011 23:25

Did your mom message you on facebook to stop making a racket or else she was gonna come in there?

screamo_neve 12

Thursday 3 November 2011 17:05

Or text you?

futuredictater 6

Wednesday 2 November 2011 22:25

At least they were nice enough to make sure you were out of the house so you wouldn't walk in on it,

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 2 November 2011 22:25

This is proof that your parents hate you and are trying to replace you with a cuter, smarter, newer model.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Weddings Awkward Love My ex Jealousy Friends AITA Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Relatable Therapy Mental health Covid Argument Kids Parenting Thanksgiving Ironic Medication Cute Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Money Work

The Top

Today, I went out to dinner with a cute, funny, smart, amazing girl. Or at least I thought she was cute, until she started coughing after her meal. She explained that she coughs after she eats. Can you say dealbreaker? FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 667

You’re probably wondering what this website is all about. Well, it’s basically a bunch of people who had enough humor to tell you all about their shitty lives, and what it was that made their day suck a big fat one. Some are sad in funny way, som...

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 13

The Top

Today, someone stole my umbrella. It was pouring heavily, and I was using it at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 392

You deserved it 3 332

Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 009

You deserved it 3 885

Today, I woke up to the sounds of birds singing, the smell of butter pancakes in the air, and thought to myself, "Wow, today is going to be great day. I can feel it!" Excited, I jumped out of bed and threw open the door to see my 58 year-old mother doing her morning stretches in the nude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 300

You deserved it 4 415

Today, I was doing a science presentation about glucose. There were around 20 judges at the event who could've judged me, but instead I got judged by the only person in the whole entire world who doesn't know what glucose is, and doesn't think it exists. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 264

You deserved it 3 406

Today, my wife and I are moving cross-country. At a rest stop, my wife complained of foot pain. I said, "Use your cruise control" and she replied "What's that?" I spent the next 10 mins teaching my 30-year-old wife what cruise control is, how it works, and how it differs from Tesla's autopilot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 334

Today, mid-sex, my wife told me to call her a nasty slut. I was kind of uncomfortable doing it, but I did it to make her horny. She started crying, because she didn’t realise how much it would hurt her feelings. Now I’m not sure if she’s mad at me or herself, but I’m scared either way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 739

You deserved it 280

Let me in

Same thing different taste

Grounded

Long walk home

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