Love, Pregnancy and Alcohol: Let that sink in

Let that sink in

By Anonymous - 04/10/2010 21:42 - Canada

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 861

You deserved it 8 725

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

Family portrait

By Anonymous - 29/05/2022 14:00

Today, I gave birth, but my husband was late and got here just in time to cut the cord. He was hung over after celebrating his impending fatherhood all night. He missed the cord twice, cut it, then fell over, and wound up in the bed next to mine, with a hydrating IV and a bashed head where he hit it on the baby's cot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 191

Ambulances ain't cheap

By Mom - 29/03/2024 03:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, I went into labor, and my husband wasn't answering his phone. I called my sister to ask her to drive me to the hospital but she said she'd only do it if I paid her $1000. I had to dial 911, and almost gave birth in my bathroom in process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 120

By Lady Cuntsnatch of Fallopia - 04/01/2015 01:30 - United States - Yuba City

Today, I went into labor and got my husband drive me to the hospital. Instead of staying by my side, he rushed back home for a World of Warcraft raid. His excuse? His friends were counting on him and they'd be pissed if he let them down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 267

You deserved it 5 935

By Xbieblette51 - 19/08/2014 22:30 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 845

You deserved it 6 953

Is everything OK?

By Anonymous - 16/08/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son was so hungover at his wedding that he fell asleep standing at the altar and fell over onto his pregnant wife, knocking her backwards onto the floor. What should have been a happy occasion turned into a farce as we rushed her to hospital to check the baby was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 124

By thelunarwolf - 02/03/2011 03:41

Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 867

You deserved it 8 880

The Phone Call

By turnmyphoneoff - 24/09/2019 00:01

Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 955

You deserved it 215

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 02:43 - United States - Titusville

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 292

You deserved it 3 537

Misbehaving

By anonymous - 05/02/2013 05:22 - United States - Hampton

Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 400

You deserved it 3 228

By wifeofafainter - 24/09/2015 06:31 - United States - Bronx

Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 421

You deserved it 3 070

perstephane 4

Tuesday 5 October 2010 1:05

*Long distance support* What a jerk move! Hang in there!

justsayfuck 5

Tuesday 5 October 2010 1:06

Oh wow.. that is terrible. I don't see how he can save himself from this one, bonding issues?

Comments

shearailey28 1

Sunday 10 June 2012 4:13

How did 5,803 people say that you deserved that?! WTF.

girlyoudunooo 3

Saturday 14 July 2012 19:43

dickkkk

squidgaamic 0

Sunday 15 July 2012 21:38

Everybody calm down he was ******* drunk chill out

sweetypieluvsyou 9

Wednesday 19 December 2012 8:15

I would have called the cops to go get him. In my town they will do that

staceejaxx 6

Friday 21 December 2012 19:34

Hoes

purpulette 2

Tuesday 25 December 2012 5:54

Hoes*

mercC63girl 6

Saturday 29 December 2012 1:45

Leave jim

dakatabg 31

Thursday 23 May 2013 1:36

And you married that bastard

paulhawkes 5

Monday 3 June 2013 14:27

Sorry to say: you married him..

KevinFlynn 13

Thursday 20 June 2013 16:33

looks like someone is getting a divorce

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 487

You deserved it 38 933

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number, "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue." He told me, "Yeah, sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away, I read his note, which read: "911". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 304

You deserved it 50 349

The Top

Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 084

You deserved it 3 105

Today, my estranged, psycho ex called me ten times and left belligerent messages because I didn't send him anything for his birthday yesterday like I used to. This is the same man who never gave me a birthday gift, text, or even a Happy Birthday wish during our 7 years together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 704

You deserved it 415

Today, I was in science class studying dead insects for biology. After packing away the jars, I noticed a red-back spider on the bench. Thinking it was missing from a jar, I picked it up. It wasn't missing. It was alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 317

You deserved it 5 345

Today, my tattoo artist boyfriend of five months gave me my first tattoo in celebration of my 18th birthday. It was supposed to be a heart with my name in script. He spelled my name wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 867

You deserved it 17 432

Today, I had a flat tire and took it to the local tire store. Turns out, the guy I had sex with once and ghosted was working there. He fixed my flat and asked if I remembered him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 1 677

Today, for our third date, we watched a romantic movie at my house. The sex scene got me all hot and bothered, so I started holding his hand, massaging his thigh, and even fondling his dick, but when I turned to pounce on him right then and there, the bastard was asleep from boredom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 138

You deserved it 439